Difficult to read, hard to keep track of what is going on. Writing from a first person perspective is a poor choice of styles.
I gave up. The jerkin' and jumpin' from the advert made reading impossible.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! orBack to Vacation for Four orMore submissions by Yael0330.
[...]
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Posting...
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about Vacation for Four:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Preview comment
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to Yael0330:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Send feedback
Sending...
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Username:
Password:Forgot your password?
Security code:
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save Cancel
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.
Close
Writing in first person
Difficult to read, hard to keep track of what is going on. Writing from a first person perspective is a poor choice of styles.
Difficult to Read? - that darn advert up top!!
I gave up. The jerkin' and jumpin' from the advert made reading impossible.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Vacation for Four or
More submissions by Yael0330.