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A New Experience

bysithdino©
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Comments (3)
by Anonymous

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by mel_pomene07/09/14

What a delightful first story!

Thank you and welcome, sithdibo. This was a well-written and sexy piece of work, even more so as it seems to be your first effort here. Very well done - I look forward to reading much more. Five stars.

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by ReiDeBastos07/09/14

Dialog problems abound

You really should find an editor before posting another story.

The errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation were so numerous and distracting in this story that I stopped reading after the first two or three paragraphs.

If a line of dialog is a question, end it with a question mark INSIDE the closing quotation mark. For example:

WRONG:
"Where are we going" I asked as she drove?
RIGHT:
"Where are we going?", I asked as she drove.

WRONG:
"What are you wearing under"?
RIGHT:
"What are you wearing under?"

WRONG:
"The tight shorts I usually wear...you know"?
RIGHT:
"The tight shorts I usually wear, you know?"

WRONG:
"And you" I asked?
RIGHT:
"And you?", I asked.

WRONG:
"Are you feeling adventurous" she asked?
RIGHT:
"Are you feeling adventurous?", she asked.

And that's about how far into your story as I could stand to read, the problems were so distracting.

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by Anonymous02/12/17

Mmmmm. So sexy I needed to cum! :)

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