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English
Chapter One
When you write an incomplete story, it is generally considered polite to let readers know upfront. Even as a first chapter, it was too short, and provided too little information.
I know this is your first story, and I encourage you to continue writing. My advice would be to slow down, give us more information, set the scene properly, and allow the story to flow naturally without breaking it up into small bits and pieces.
Great Job
Suburb, I felt like I was there. Mechanically very good as well.
Nice story
I like your writing style, very alive and descriptive. Looking forward to the next chapter. Ignore the haters they will always hate...
Incredible
Your words ignite the thoughts In my head as I get consumed in the story. Well written and thought out. I'm sure there are many like myself that continue to check back to see the next chapter. We are waiting......
Wow!
I love the build up! Very erotic and I only wish it were longer! I also kind of wish that the couple would get married just to make the sharing sexier! Thank you and please write more soon!
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