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English
Wow - A 1.88 Story...
Awesome! Truly a 1 star effort, and I for one, am proud to contribute to your score!!
Not Good
I am sorry I wasted the time to read this drivel. It might have worked better in fantasy category.
Waste of time
Too short, not enough detail!! "my throbbing erections"??? He has more than one?
Gets a one because I can't give a zero
Another story from the mind of a twelve year old......................
Not good indeed
I couldn't come with a better heading that the "not good" that another reader used. This was really bad. Poorly written (Why the shift in person? "Herself" is one word, etc.) and very bland. You need to be descriptive. Even if you use the same cliches everyone else uses, give the reader enough detail to paint the picture in their mind. This just doesn't do it. I wasn't going to vote but I figured my "1" would lower the average score, which is what it deserves.
18?
The writer should be over 18 as well.
3 weeks
I'd like to see a 3 week orgasm...Stupidity
Editing, and masturbation...
You've got to proofread before you post. Most people don't mind minor errors, but the meaning changes until we contextually unscramble your wrong words for ourselves. Sloppy, undriven, and stick figure characters.
Also, if what you write here doesn't get you aroused, you might as well not post. I felt nothing. And if you insist on using the word jiggle so many times, at least grab a thesaurus before finalizing, because the girl is faceless and curve less with Jell-O breasts.
Positions
I'm trying to figure out how he licked her breasts while his dick was in her mouth.
another crap story from a guy who knows nothing about women
To be a good writer you have to develop both characters, and women don't think or act like that.
I laughed, I cried (from laughing too hard)
"I'm switching to third person" is the funniest line I've ever read on this site! If this were meant as satire, it is brilliant! Unfortunately, I don't think it is.
I will ask again: why don't the owners of this site hire a team of voluntary editors to review these stories before they are posted? It would be SO simple, it would cost nothing, and it would improve this site immensely. It would also give the owners more free time. Win-win-win all around!
Please stop writing!
Before you try to write again, you must score at least 65% in Third Grade English - better yet, leave the writing to those for whom English is their first language. I made the mistake of reading your second story thinking it couldn't possibly be as bad as the first, but you proved me wrong! Please don't try again. Leave the writing to those who have already experienced a sexual relationship and therefor have some idea what they're writing about.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse . . .
it did. Crappiest story I ever saw on here---I couldn't even bear to read beyond about the fourth paragraph or so. And I have a fairly high tolerance for shit!
Ummmm......
I skimmed to the end to see how much worse it could get....the ability to lick het tits while she was sucking his cock and a 3 week orgasm, must be an alien.
you need an editor
So many things were wrong with this story.
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