The Network

Tiny issue

FYI: Vassar doesn't have sororities. I know, it wasn't exactly a story steeped in fact, but there are no Greeks at Vassar.

good but......

The grammar and structure of large parts of it read as if translated directly from Russian, with articles missing and not added.

Outstanding!

Another winner!

YOU are the Best

Please more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spooky!

Downright spooky. But good spooky.

Awesome!

Thank you for writing this story. I really enjoyed every second spent reading it.
Regards
DD

Captivating

Strange, but intriguing. Very good. Thanks for sharing.

Cmon man!

U got to finish this one. There is a lot of ways to go.

Excellent. Ansolutely excellent.

One edit: you called "Susan" "Sarah" by mistake.

UNIQUE

CONGRATULATIONS. You have created a beautiful story in which to tell us about a fantasy world that many of us wish existed. You could do with a bit of editing -- especially on the use of the preposition "to" and the adverb "too." OVERALL, I agree with other reviewers who think this story is AWESOME. THANKS FOR SHARING

A-MAZING

OMG, such a wonder new vision into the world around us. New ideas that I had never thought of. Amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing with the rest of us. I look forward to reading many more of your stories.
- pal

@elrayo41

Who says this is a Fantasy World?

Very well done! You kind of remind me of Robert Heinlein. Great vision.

Wow!

Well done! You are my new favorite author.

A look in the not so distant future?

As with the movie Avatar, you've shown in this excellent story the possibility of instant communication between human andere other life forms. For people/the world to survive knowledge andere understanding is a basic necessity. The form of communication you describe fits a large part of that Bill. Really enjoyed the story, thanx from a big fan of your writing.

With kind regards, Ronald

"I" !!!

I have been reading "Sci Fi and Fantasy" for 65 years and this story is the BEST meld of the three i.e. Sci Fi,Fantasy,and Eroticisim that I have ever seen. With a little bit of editing (for the general public),I'd bet it could be sold to "Analog Sci Fi magazine" and probably garner a Hugo and a Nebula award as well. Show us more !!!

Great story. Very original.

Exceptional writing. You have a fantastic imagination.

corrections

page 6
leave in a lurch - leave you in a lurch
about woman - about a woman
shammed - shamed
no where - nowhere

there were a fair amount of other errors, but these were the types that annoyed me the most, I would strongly suggest getting a proofreader or two to help out, as well as improving your proofreading practices, considering how much trouble you have with homophones.

page 8
Druids only goal - The Druids' only goal
couldn't bare - couldn't bear
horse - hoarse

page 9
as link - as the link
move to fast - move too fast
you're collapse - your collapse
what your were - what you were

I can only say one thing

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing

Your writing talent is up there with the best.

keep going

Focus on your incredible story telling ability. Tons of folks know grammar ... but there are few gifted writers so go with your strength. Loved the story.

You desperately need an Editor

Look, the story is great. But you REALLY need an editor, because this story is a mess. Lots of missing words, confusing phrases, inconsisten names, plain bad organization of the paragraphs. Among other problems.

More, more!

This story needs a sequel!

Literary Einstein

I've read most of your stories and your creativity astonishes me. There are many fine authors on this site and some follow a set of characters loved by the readers and continue the basic story line with the same characters. But each of your stories and characters seem unique, not sequels, and almost all are compelling.
Can't wait to finish all your stories. Thanks for your work and may you have a blessed and safe Christmas.

Trippy

belike trippin ballz on acid

Druids do not support capitalism

Capitalism creates the poverty and environmental ruin that Druids are so against. Druids, as you stated, strive for harmony, how could harmony exist with classes?

Druids do not support capitalism?

Druids must work in harmony with the government as defined. If it is wealth that dictates power, then wealth is needed to project harmony. But this is a fantasy of course.

I suspect that true Druids find the work offensive, which was not my intent. In fact, I didn't even know modern Druid sects existed until this was posted. The idea that nature dictates reason is a comfortably warm concept.

re;Druid-Capitalism

Wealth owned by a single person is not needed, simply the combined wealth of the people. With capitalism, the means by which the wealth is obtained causes the very poverty that leaves the world suffering. For people to achieve such wealth, resources have to be taken, and labour consumed at low costs, thus putting people into wage slavery.

Under a commune system, the wealthy would be equally shared, thus no poverty would exist. The commune would use their shared wealthy to improve the world around them, both in the human and enviroment.

re: Druid-Capitalism

True communes reward sloth. Those that choose not to participate earn as much as those who put forth an enormous effort. I do not profess that capitalism is the best method to allocate the assets of the world, but it is fairer than most. I will concede the unfairness of inheritance, where simply being born in the right family allows sloth and privilege.

The fairest system probably lies in a mixture of both. Humankind must always strive to better itself (capitalism) and seek to remove the injustices (commune).

Cannabis cures brain cancer

No need to depend on mind meld. The only catch is that you have to start treating it about 6 months before it kills you. You can look up "cannabis cures brain cancer".

===

I can read my wife. She, however, is not quiet enough internally to read me.

Great sci-fi story.

At first it was scary to me , the idea of a worldwide mental network of the world's power elite. Sharing their unfair advantage to control the rest of the world. Because if you didn't know it was druids this kind of thing would freak you the fuck out.

The only thing. Druids involved in oil pipelines? Unlikely!

Trippy

Really very creative work.....My mind is still spinning

Your writing, my addiction!

It was another amazing story that moved in directions that I should have known would be different than what I expected when I first started reading. Thank you!

Yoshi

my favorite

By far this is my favorite story on this entire site. I have read everything you wrote and have never been disappointed. I would love to see a sequel to this story just because I love the characters so much. The enjoyment I get out of your stories has been a huge factor in convincing me to finally write something. So thank you.

Sequel please?

Maybe with their kids? A dark tree gone bad? Just continue this tale, please!

I think you found your calling

These stories about links are something special. Keep writing. I think I like "The Link" more but this was an interesting take.

Not knowing what was going on made this story brow-furrowing...

but once you explained what they were, it all snapped into focus...

Well designed...

Flabergasted

Mate, I must be getting soft in my old age. What a wonderful story, had me totally enthralled from start to finish. Thank you

Yes...but

I realize you are posting these stories with no financial payback. You have a rare talent. But you really need an editor. I have been an avid reader for over 60 years. I edited a literary journal many, many years ago when I was in college. If I can be of help in proof reading, please let me know.

Outstanding

Thoroughly enjoyed this story. You need to nurture these characters maybe not as an ongoing story but as a series of stand alones to allow more freedom of development. You should be submitting this to a publisher.

TYPO

My forty year old body was starting to show signs of ware.

SHOULD BE:

My forty year old body was starting to show signs of WEAR.

TYPO

Her face was all a glow as I exited the room.

SHOULD BE:

Her face was all AGLOW as I exited the room.

MISSING WORD

'We are pleased to inform you that are this years recipient of the Gloris Newark scholarship.'

SHOULD BE:

'We are pleased to inform you that YOU are this years recipient of the Gloris Newark scholarship.'

WORD CHOICE & PUNCTUATION CORRECTION

The hotel had a small, all be it, expensive clothing store usually reserved for those who forgot their tennis or swimming apparel. I called down to Rick to make sure it was open on Saturday.

SHOULD BE:

The hotel had a small, ALBEIT expensive clothing store usually reserved for those who forgot their tennis or swimming apparel. I called down to Rick to make sure it was open on Saturday.

MISPELLING

"What is your opinion off Rebecca and Samantha?"

SHOULD BE:

"What is your opinion OF Rebecca and Samantha?"

TYPO OR MISSING ARTICLES AND CONJUNCTION

Next to it was mug with and unopened bottle of beer next to it.

SHOULD BE:

Next to it was mug with AN unopened bottle of beer next to it.

OR:

Next to it was A mug AND AN unopened bottle of beer next to it.

TENSE ERROR

One of the girls sweep through the kitchen.

SHOULD BE:

One of the girls SWEPT through the kitchen.

TYPO

I looked like our planned opening in early October will be pushed to the February, March time frame.

SHOULD BE:

IT looked like our planned opening in early October will be pushed to the February, March time frame.

EDITORIAL SUGGESTION:

IT looked like our planned opening in early October will be pushed to the February TO March time frame.

TYPO? (UNLESS THE POOR GRAMMER IS INTENTIONAL IN THE QUOTE)

"Robert, a good politician is always been happiest behind a microphone." I heard a false chuckle, "Just give me a time and a place and I will be there."

SHOULD BE:

"Robert, a good politician is always happiest behind a microphone." I heard a false chuckle, "Just give me a time and a place and I will be there."

OR:

"Robert, a good politician HAS always been happiest behind a microphone." I heard a false chuckle, "Just give me a time and a place and I will be there."