Unconventional

Rushed and you need to watch your grammar.

"The next morning, Roxanne lied"

Should be- The next morning, Roxanne lay.

That is just one example.

Enjoyable . . .

Yes, there were some grammatical errors, but I enjoyed your story. Keep writing!

I like the story I even like some of the characters. Okay Jarrett, Sean and Max are my favorites! They are hot as hell but why does Roxanne have to have such a horrible attitide? Who in the hell has black lips? Are trying to say that she has full lips? Does she wear black lipstick? Looking to reading more! Will you chapters get longer?

I like this story

Good start. Can't wait to read more

Good start. I wonder if Roxanne had an attitude with Jarrett from the beginning is because she was attracted to him. Immature reason to be bitchy with him if thats the case.

I hope Jarrett talk to Roxanne about the condom breaking that way she can get the morning after pill. He might end up waiting to see if she is pregnant and she will end up blaming him. Maybe his roommates are smarter then him and will give him some smart advice.

You have got to finish this!

I hope you're gonna continue. This is so good and Jarrett's roommates are hilarious! I wonder what's going to happen between Roxanne and Jarrett now...
Please update soon!

Promising

A good editor would help, but you have talent.

Five, for starters.

FINISH

Please finish. The story is really good

Good start!

Definitely looking forward to seeing where you take the tale. Besides some grammar mistakes and the fact that the chapter was little more than a bite, I have no other complaints. The grammar mistakes didn't detract from the storyline for me. Like I said, good start! Please post the next chapter soon, and make it a bit longer. :)

5 Solid Stars.

Thanks!

I'm usually a stickler for grammar myself, I just wanted to get my work out there! Thanks for all the positive feedback! I'll definitely write more.

Keep going!

Sounds like it could get interesting! :)

Good story

I liked your story line even with the grammatical errors. This story has promise. Just take your time in developing the sex scenes and do not buy into the myth of fucking her womb.

Roxanne's and his eyes and phone vibrated, indicating either a phone call or a text.

The next paragraph wasn't much better. Did you read this yourself before posting?