I Am the Night

A. well written, kept right on the edge without falling into heavy handed hooker/client, has huge cock/fucks like he's experienced. B. actually on the limit of believable. C. Would like to see rest of night. Please don't fall over that edge.

Forgot....

babysitters name goes from Barbara to Hillary....need to proofread/edit better.

I agree with ...

... bearslady - "Forgot"!
Personally I thought that it was very badly written!!

If you don't know how to proof read and edit then go to "Literotica; Index; Volunteer Editors" and ask someone to help you.

Silly, poorly written

Your and you're are used interchangably, and that is a drop-dead deal breaker for me. I skimmed through the rest, and found it to be sophomoric drivel.

Get an editor, or admit you're (you are) a no-talent hack.

I Liked It

Yes, there were some things that a good proofreader would have straightened out.

So what? I liked the idea of the story - geeky teenager that I was so many years ago - and thought that within that idea it was a fun read.

It can stand alone - if it must. I suspect I would enjoy another chapter.

That Girl

If she's smart she'll figure out that she has a submissive on her hands, so after bringing out the handcuffs she should put them on him and then put him over her spandex covered knee and spank him good, hard, and long while masturbating him, because that's what most boys into comics and costumes need.

Batman/Batgirl

Terrific Story. Really enjoyed it.

Would you consider writing a Batman/Batgirl story? I've been a big fan of yours for years and thought you were done writing FF. Finally tracked you down here.

Good Storyline

I was very entertained by it. Yes it needed a good proofreading. I would like to read about the the rest of the night and perhaps where mom and dad end up.
Maybe Batgirl could show them a thing or two (WINK).