All Comments on 'A Holiday Surprise'

by Initiate_me

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  • 15 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Very good hope this is just the start- keep em cumming- ?

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
total waste of spacess

he cheats on his girl friend his sisters girl friend cheats on her that's where I stopped. cheating is never good and never sexy or erotic just a waste of time and it proves none of them have any love or feelings for their mates.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
I Kind Of Liked It

The sex scene was pretty hot. I look forward as this was just the first night of the week with James and Letty.

Scotsman69Scotsman69over 9 years ago
A well-written

and intensely erotic story. Well done lassie. Unlike some on Lit, I value good erotic writing, and this was both. In spades. Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Good story

You did a good job with only 2 pages. As for "total waste of spacess(?)", it's a STORY dude! Get a life!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
More

Hope this was just Chapter 1

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Aftermath

want to read the guilt, the longing, the blame game, the drama that follows of all 3of them. very interesting more chapters please 2,3,4,5. no need for initiation, you're writings is excellent.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Amazing

Please include James' wife/girlfriend

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
???

a cheating asshole and 2 skank lesbo's. I hope girl friend finds out and dumps boy whore. lesbo's are already into severe mental illness...

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Fantastic

What an absolute erotic well written story, cant wait to read the next one!

MigbirdMigbirdover 1 year ago

Bit late to be commenting on a story found because I read your most recent post, yet wanted to do so. Not because the writing is outstanding (it is) rather because of how it affected me (and isn’t that one of the hallmarks of good writing). Very erotic despite the incest and despite Claire’s submissiveness/Letty’s near cruelty, and not because of those elements — and their is a difference between “despite” and “because of”. So, must applaud your writing talent as the storyline and characters left me pondering the two women’s relationship (the brother was largely a foil if you will). Some asked for more, but I see no need and you seem to have agreed. Very well done erotic fiction.

MrTrentMrTrentover 1 year ago

I wish you had carried on this into a series

khollen2khollen2over 1 year ago

I read this as a prelude to your more recent stories and found it very erotic and well written. I really dislike the naysayers, this is a place to write about fantasies and have some fun. You're story was exciting and erotic! On to your new series and looking forward to reading them.

DukeStoneDukeStoneover 1 year ago

A very entertaining and delightful story. I loved the mixture of guilt and exhilaration she felt as the other two drew her across line after forbidden line.

KenNicottiiKenNicottii9 months ago

Outstanding!

I personally don’t get the prevalence of incest on Lit (2nd most popular with almost 63,000 stories!), but I’m glad I clicked on this one. And what a triumph for your very first story!

Writing stream of consciousness 1st person isn’t as easy as it might seem, but you handled it deftly. The cadence of your dialogue, the rise and fall of your arousal, your revulsion, your shame – perfect. Your final sentence is a stellar example:

“I didn't know what to think, what to feel. I felt sick. I felt dirty. I felt alive.”

Brava, Initiate_me

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All feedback for my stories, positive and negative, is really appreciated. Hearing people's thoughts makes writing worthwhile.