The Bar Pick-Up Ch. 02

Utter garbage

Gross! Getting fucked by a smelly homeless man. This is a terribly unsexy story :-(

Just Another

The rape of a white woman, by a couple black guys. Wow never read that kind of story before, ha ha. What happened to her husband, he was at the bar with her and their little game of could she pick up a guy. If your into nasty rape stories then I guess you'll like this one, I don't . So far its Just Another lousy story.

WTF

A RAPE IS TOO SERIOUS TO BE USED IN STORIES. ALSO UNDER THE CONDITIONS YOU DESCRIBE, I DOUBT THE WOMAN WOULD HAVE ANY EMOTIONS EXCEPT ABJECT TERROR. SOMEBODY CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

FOR THE FIRST TIME I THINK I AGREE WITH THE ANONS. I DID GIVE YOU A TWO BECAUSE THE WRITING IN THIS STORY WASN'T BAD.

Wrong

on so many counts.

nope again

rape stories are different than a woman "being taken" and not many people like rape stories. Was the rape by a black guy supposed to be humiliation? That's awful.

" Bull "

Just plain bull shit .

I think your subject matter

Has clouded people's opinions, you do write well, a few little issues but the style is there. I don't like the storyline but don't give up!
It takes courage to post a story and you obviously have that, maybe a different topic would allow people to see the words more clearly.
Well done for taking the plunge, i do hope to read a different story by you.

Although this is your first time so to speak . . . You need to think about the subject, the characters the sterotypes that you weave in to your story, as well as a true understanding of the terrible effects of rape.

And now...

...filled with HIV and ultimately, AIDS.

Then lets see if her husband stands by her...

listen to your heart!!!!!!

Great storie. The more you writte about black guys...the harder I get. Same for Simon.
My friend with the lust for picnic tables.
Dont listen to these no-brainers, they can't extent there little minds too the unusual.

I was nice to read about those trees blowing softly in the Gale.

Great storie. The more you writte about black guys...the harder I get. Same for Simon.
My friend with the lust for picnic tables.
Dont listen to these no-brainers, they can't extent there little minds too the unusual.

It was nice to read about those trees blowing softly in the Gale.