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Very well done!
This was a fine introduction to a new author's work; welcome to Literotica and please continue with this story. Thank you -- four stars.
Keep writing!
You could really use an editor - there are some odd capitalizations that take away from the flow of the story, as one example. Literotica has a free editor program that will make your writing more powerful. I would have liked to have more buildup and background on the two characters.
Thanks
Thanks for the Support and comments, will use the editors on the next entry, I just wanted to see how well I could do on my own first.
Will create a background story to give everyone a little more character development, then will work on the next chapter.
If there is any scenarios/festish that you would like to read let me know and I will try and accommodate for them.
Thanks again!
looking forward to chapter 2!
I loved it, it left me wanting to know what this pair will get upto next! chapter 2 soon please!
Great start
Enjoyed reading ch.1 so much! and even more ch. 2 xD
You have the talent.. keep making us happy with your stories xx
Eva
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