All Comments on 'The Homeless'

This is worthy of a sequel, don't you think?

Thanks for sharing.

This was so good on so many different levels. A well written, wonderful story. 5+ from me.

Natalie is a most endearing character as you have written her. My morning started off really well reading this story, so now I'll make some coffee and it should get even better. I gave you five stars for fine writing and hope as others have said, that you continue this with a sequel. Thanks.

What a great story! I liked everything about it.

Wow, you are an Author, truly. Sex, romance, softcore and also descriptive. Please write again, you're a jewel in the crown of Literotica. Thank you... Xoxox. Andrew.

I actually read the story twice, something I rarely do. There were several minor technical problems with the writing, not talking about grammar, but missing words. Great story, thank you, 5*

Yup - a couple of minor proof reading errors.

Nothing serious: I have to read my own stuff at least three times.

Most of us see what we meant - not what we wrote.

ram

Very realistic and enjoyable reading with the naughtiness, a little erotic flavor and woman's intuition with little innuendos. Screw the technical shit, this ain't for a newspaper, a magazine or a damn paperback book where anybody is making money. As a writer this author has skills, so an editor could clean it up, big deal. Let's congratulate and celebrate the positive of the work!! BRAVO!!

Yes, damn it all! Loved it, hot wet sex that's believable. Characters and dialogue that can draw you in. There were a few technical glitches but so what! Keep it up.

I've been reading stories here for more years than I care to remember and this us the first time I've been moved to comment.

I love this story. It held me from start to finish. I'm going to make time later to read your other two.

Thank you.

During the long time I have read stories on here this only the second story I have been moved to comment on. Please keep writing - you're very good at it! Everything was believable about this story, it was well constructed with no unnecessary details and it's difficult to think of anything that could have made it better, so I won't. Suffice to say it had me captivated from the off, all the way to the end.

Thank you very much, Best wishes from the U.K.

Another fantastic story. Thanks.

Looking forward to a fourth.

I fell in love with Natty and did not want to see her go even though she is not going far. She and Tom feel for each other but life evolves that they drift apart and that would be sad. Julie is ok, but she doesn't entice me like Natty does . Love her math thing. She could be a rocket scientist!

Nonetheless and an excellent story and well worth the five I gave it.

Please keep Nattys story going. I'm dying to know more about this wonderful young women

I think I have found an editor to help with my errors. Self editing is obviously not a talent I possess.

Really nice story. Very well written. Good pacing and plot ideas.

I liked the way you played the ending, which could otherwise have been a bit clunky. Keep up the good work.

to super stud in the blink of a good deed.

btw, who is Tom Collins?

I'm sure I speak for most of the readers here at Literotica when I say how happy I am to have a great writer here again after all the garbage that is being submitted lately . It seams all the old ones that were so good have burned out. Thanks for being so entraining.

I've just read all your submissions...please keep writing...

Nattie is fascinating and it was a shame that the time barrier was there.

I don't know how you've managed to crank out so many five-star stories in such a short span of time, but please keep them coming!

What a fantasy mind you have. Looking to the next chapter with Julie.Thanks for a fun story

I am really enjoying your stories. I find the humor the sadness and the story line all mix very well. Keep em coming.

This the second story of yours I've read and they're both fives. I love your plots, characters, and the emphasis on love. Just because we love sex, doesn't mean we're perverts. I hope your stories continue to keep the sex an expression of love, and not a selfish end in itself.

few and far between.

5***********s

On at least two more chapters.

But be careful, they have a tendency to get away from you...

You create wonderful characters. I love the dialogue - sometimes serious; sometimes playful. You made them real in my mind. I hated to see the story end. I'd love to see a sequel with Julie, and some more of Natty.

Just when I thought i'd read the best of your stories, You go and mess up my mind with another over the top 5 star story. I'd really like to see another chapter or two added to them though. They are without a doubt the kind one can get totally immersed into.

I for one hope they doesn end

It would be nice to see how Natalie grows up a bit, and how he and Julie grow toghether. Keep up the great work 5*s

I actually fell into the story and I look forward to my life with Julie.

I also would love to read more about Natty and Tom and Julie. Thank you for your hard work and your DREAM of a story. Five stars.

Thanks for sharing now to start on your other stories.

Stuff the amazing sex scenes... I want to get lost in their world even more ♡

A fun story to read and about which to daydream

Not QUITE as good as "The Gift", but still excellent.

I sort of thought that the three of them might form a sort of family, but given his intimacy with Natty that probably wouldn't be too realistic!

Excellent story telling! Wonderful character development and nicely paced storyline! Thoroughly enjoyable! Thank you!

This is so out of the ordinary here in Literotica.

I experienced the same situation while at a meeting in Atlanta. Met a homeless woman fed her, and took her back to my hotel room after the meal, let her bathe and clean up and sleep in the other bed. We had NO intimacies. The next morning we said our goodbyes. Never heard from her afterward. Hope she found a new life. I gave her a start. Realdoc

Could use a little more proof reading/editing, but lots of fun and a feel good story line with a future, too.

Dr's Palmer and Bounder became interchangeable near the end.

Wearing a hotel robe must be an identifying signal.

Who cares whether the husband/simpleton wakes up on his own????

oh well

just like the torment so prominently featured in the encounters.

Heaven and Hell?

but, (you knew there was a but!)

Did the Doctor from the learning center really come to his room with a syringe?

and

as sleazy as Rick was/is, shouldn't Natty, and now Tom, be tested for STD's?

one of the best lines in the story was

"I decided to set off the nose alarm"

it took me a minute and a few clues, but when the aroma of the bacon and coffee awakened her, I too woke up to your humour. Nicely played.

...Still it works. Great dialogue and character development. DC can write!

You write stories, like this one, that captivate me. An incredible talent, one that I wish I could emulate.

I've figured it out. Your stories have heart. The sex is integral to the story and not just an end in itself. Well drawn characters and a good story make a winning combination.

Thanks for sharing

This? Brilliant story. Excellent characterization, some minor edits needed, nothing too jarring.

Would love to see a follow-up to this story showing what happened to Natty after she moved out. Could do a quick touch to show if Tom and Julie made it together after all. But would be more interested in seeing where Natty ended up.

Thanks for the great story.

What a story! You are fast becoming one of my favorite authors! Thanks DreamCloud. :)

MastersWench

Ditto the comment you will find down a couple.

I read the Editor and I see what you mean... the story was fantastic but, well, thank you for finding an editor. :D

Mabell said it best, "your stories have heart." I have to agree with that. Natty was a fantastic character. I felt kind of sad when I realized that she was setting up Julie to be with him. I was hoping they were going to become a family. I can see why that wouldn't have worked but I was hoping. Thank You for a very heart-warming story.

Another great story!

I'm a bit frustrated with the spelling and grammar, but overall there wasn't much that would spoil the story. Note that "you're" is a contraction of "you are" and should not be used when you're trying for the possessive "your" - as in "your bed" etc.

It was better than the normal Damsel in Distress and Middle Aged Knight... It had a nice variant where he ends up with someone his own age(ish). I think that has a much better chance of HEA. So would you call this a Loving Girlfriend story?

...in the naked city. DC, everyone of yours are personable and believable.

Too careless, missing articles, switched homophones, phrases with incomplete thoughts. Please don't hurry.

Good storyline. Well thought out with good imagery. Don't let the negativity discourage you from writing more.

Great story-telling. Engaging and fun.

You are one of the best story tellers I have come across! I come home from work and look forward to reading the next one... Thank you!

Nothing like having a lover turn you on to another lover. Yet very inventive and believable. Your stories have a human ring and quality about them that makes them

"downhome" and reaches into the soul. Loved the promise, and so many others. Please keep up the good work, and may your nights be so much better than your days. Thank you again.GP

New here. I'm reading more and more of your work. I have to agree with Arinch, probably needs more proofing than any of your other work that I have had the pleasure to read thus far. Otherwise, keep up with the great story lines.

The only objection I have is that Tom and Natty gave up on a lovely relationship because of a age difference. They both love the other why give up real love for socially acceptable but uncertain love.

decent story although I wasn't that much a fan of the ending I was rooting for them to stay together despite the age difference, and stay living more in the moment, which would have seemed to fit Nappy's character IMO.

Julie simply wasn't fleshed out enough for me to care, and having been introduced to Nappy first in the story, a certain degree of reader bias is unavoidable..

The technical side isn't up to your usual standards, I would suggest doing an extra round of thorough proofreading to iron out the sloppy errors; misspellings, grammar, and missing words.

Many people probably don't care, but I think it hurts the presentation of the story a bit, every error is a possible stumbling block that can break the immersion

Yeah, it did have some small errors but still better quality than most. I also was sad that Natty didn't stay with Tom, I like the forbidden age difference thing.

If you ever redo, might want to address the protection thing with Natty as her past makes her a dangerous partner.

Another great story, but like the others, disappointed that Natty and Tom didn't give it a chance to see where they could go. Two people who admit they love each other, give up on it, and HOPE they can fine love with someone else? Just plain wrong headed thinking on their parts.

This is an excellent story, and I greatly enjoyed it, BUT . . . it needs an epilog . . . something to explain what has happened as some time passes. The way it ends now, it just leaves things hanging.

Natty and Tom couldn't be together forever. I still wanted them to be. Another beautiful story, my friend.

I'm so glad I came across one of your stories. I'm only part way through what you have I love every one of them.

Please pay attention to dropped words. Is it a cultural thing? Don't know, but it is disrupting to the read.

Really enjoyed it. A very entertaining story the people in it were so believable. 5 stars +

Ron/ cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

So much empathy...really likable characters...

I liked it a lot. Good characters and story line. Kept my interest.

Another⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️Star story, what more can I say that hasn't already been said...

So what happens now are you going to continue the story or drop it here. I like it very much.

I really hope there will be a follow up story to know what happens with Tom and Julie

Hey you've got a bunch of cool stories, hope I have time to read a couple more tonight. I started with 'the cabin' he didn't have enough wood was my clue. I've liked them all, like your favorite list to.

Merry Christmas to all and to all you perves good nights.

The last lines of these stories are hilarious. "Shit Natty told her everything." Again 5 stars.

thank you for your writing

I have read about half your stories and agree with most everyone, you are an excellant writer.

PLEASE give us a follow up story to this one. Expound on how Tom and Julie grow their relationship. Update Natty's life story, with her maybe needing Tom and Julie to help her out. Or maybe she has to give Tom age old advice to save his butt with Julie.

Thanks for writing these stories.

DoW

Really nice story! The punctuation irritates me a little, I'm used to placing the comma before "but". Also, this is your first story I read, and coming over from BurntRedstone's stories I really wonder how many ex husbands/boyfriends there are in the other stories that resort to open violence, and especially in broad daylight with witnesses.

A great story. I have read many of your stories, all of them have seemed magnificent, some more than others, but this, along with The Rehab, has come to my heart. I am an old romantic, as my nick says, and I love happy endings, but these two stories are bittersweet, do not end up as a typical happy ending. There is a nuance of background, a reality that in life, not everything is rosy.

5 * for you, and hoping that someday there will be a sequel to this story, at least to find out how Natty's life is going once he has left Tom and how Tom is going with Julie. I really think that the three are monogamous and that their lives will continue as two independent pairs (if Natty finds hers half orange).

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Everything I've read of yours is "ROMANCE".! If it says "erotic coupling" that seems to be your code that the sex is more graphic, explicit, fluid..lol than the others. NO, the story is romance..

I'm personally amazed at how "prolific" a writer you are. Thanks, I hope you can convert your fantastic writing to something lucrative. If I was wealthy I would finance a movie or something,,Your stuff belongs on the silver screen.

Well, I have read all of yours now. So, since I can't find another author as good as you, 2nd time. Loved it again. Thanks

of two people finding love together....love how you develop the story and make them so interesting....

Really a shame that he and Natty didn't make a go of it they were sweet together, Julie feels like a poor consolation prize, I simply did not care about her at the end.

My god. You did it again! What a fertile imagination. I really appreciate it.

I'm working my way through your stories and hope I never come to the end.

I tend to trust authors with their endings, but the characters of The Homeless are more than curiously interesting. Although it is now 3 years later, I hope DreamCloud has spent time gestating a chapter 2 from Natty's point of view starting near the end of this piece and continuing onward. She (Natty) deserves her own ending.

Someone with a good heart helping someone in need of help. A great story where Tom helped Natty turn her life around as well as his and let's don't forget Julie and his friend Susan at the greasy spoon.

I like how DreamCloud ends his stories with a mix of happiness and melancholy. It’s much like actual love. Even though I’m convinced everyone would have liked to see Natty and Tom end up together, it plays better this way. He gave her what she needed and she gave him what he needed, both unselfishly. More like the real world where events rarely give us the happy ending we desire. But somehow we are left the better for it when our imperfect happy ending comes.

1/4 down on page 5. Dr, Palmer,is not the right doctor .Dr,Bounder is the one making the rounds…starts out like this . on wednesday Dr.Palmer ..should be On wednesday Dr, Bounder. for the correct train of thought ..unless I'm wrong, I don't think so ,but it has happened before once or twice LOL..R.W.

once again a "DAMNED GOOD READ" THE ONLY thing is you should have kept going with Julie instead of just chopping it off.

hornyoldgoat

12-6-17

ps i lost my wife of 41 yrs on 12-11-4 and since then this is as intimate as i can get. so just keep up the good work. you and all the other fantastically talented authors here

to be interesting and erotic, with a superb plot. Somehow, I missed this one, and I'm glad I found it.

Two people who needed love found each other. Simple plot--but complicated by so many things. DreamCloud, you're the best.

Should've carried on the storyline with Matty, simple as that

The greatest stories, ty......10

...so I read your very engaging story...but...you either need an editor, or do something about the spelling, the grammar, and other language oddities I didn't keep track off. I'll keep reading, though. Thanks!

Bring back natty to live there, she did say theres room in the bed for 4 , so there would have plenty of space and comfort.

Hope you are well and doing okay. Your stories are all different and very well written. Some I've read three times (Yea, I'm losing it) and they are fresh each time. Thank you !!

Not that I don't think that Julie would be could be good for Tom but there seemed to be a very real connection between Tom and Natty and the age difference well that's just a number but I it would have been nice for Tom and Natty to have each other in there life. But it's your story and your ending.

Every story is unique, creative, and wonderfully entertaining. I especially love the quality of the conversations. The stories are all excellent and I love the relationships built in this one. I really wish you would start submitting again. I am like others enjoying every story multiple times. Or, perhaps you are working on the great American novel? I would really like to read it! And just ignore the comments about grammar and spelling. They are noticeable but who needs perfection?

Second reading of a favorite. You are such a talented writer who gives so much joy to readers, greatly regret that you have had such a bad experience on the site. Hope you are continuing yourself to enjoy writing wherever. Thank you again for the pleasure.