The entire story is just awful and is poorly written. Choppy sentences
by
Anonymous07/24/14
Sorry just didnt work
Just not believable.
by
Anonymous07/25/14
Mmmmmmmmmmm
these stories where the female is up for everything are boring.
Needs intrigue suspense feeling
Is this something this lady does all the time? must be totally boring for her then and that's the way the story is for me, for my way of thinking there is no imagination here.
You can write so write with imagination..........
Maybe try this wherethe wife has neve done anything like this before!
PS i also hate sequels after the first installment the next are usually predictable and so boring! HATE SEQUELS
Poorly written
The entire story is just awful and is poorly written. Choppy sentences
Sorry just didnt work
Just not believable.
Mmmmmmmmmmm
these stories where the female is up for everything are boring.
Needs intrigue suspense feeling
Is this something this lady does all the time? must be totally boring for her then and that's the way the story is for me, for my way of thinking there is no imagination here.
You can write so write with imagination..........
Maybe try this wherethe wife has neve done anything like this before!
PS i also hate sequels after the first installment the next are usually predictable and so boring! HATE SEQUELS
English?
Does anyone know English? Anyone?
Improvement required!
Hot sex, but poorly written.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Ryan and Friends or
More submissions by plez2tease.