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A Family Controlled Ch. 03

byotakuinshiner©
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Comments (7)
by Anonymous

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Editing

This is your third chapter with horrid spelling errors. Get an editor.

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by redlion7507/26/14

if they are trying to keep her from getting raped by the dick uncle then why dress her like a fucking whore?

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by Anonymous07/26/14

!?._,"; :

You, sir, need to familiarize yourself with articles of punctuation. Jesus, man, I can suffer through the misspellings and grind my teeth at the noun and verb disagreements, but for shit's sake please punctuate correctly. Get your mom to edit: she obviously can't fuck worth a damn.

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by brosismom07/28/14

good premise but come on man

get to fucking uncle's life up,
Johnny's a real pussy, someone did that to my mom,aunt, would of fucked them up straight away, don't give a shit how much bigger than me the arsehole is, would off baseball batted him unconscious, then shoved it up his arse to see how he liked it,then tied the scum up and tourcheard the cunt till he begged to die

even if johnny's such big pussy he could of,battered him when the arsehole's asleep or dead drunk, he could of got him then,
how longs it been weeks and weeks since he raped his mom, come on man let johnny to grow a set,
just not believable

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by Unicorn8507/29/14

Impressive.

Very well written and yes some minor spelling stuff but the story line and events are all great. You do a good job portaying the different characters as well as the bad guy. I only hope you will continue the story in the same manner and not ju.p to endings as many people can't wait for the plot to unrawel. Thank you for writing such a great novel.

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by Anonymous08/08/14

horny aussie

Shit mate your spelling and grammar is still crap, please get an editor and proof reader to help you correct your fucking mistakes you are spoiling a good story that you are trying to portay here and all these mistakes are JUST FUCKING!!!! spoiling it for me, but that said I'm still going to carry on and read the next chapter.

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by rightbank01/20/15

3/4ths of a page does not a chapter make

and the massacre of the English language continues.
"Your lucky we where"

it is getting worse.

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