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English
I liked it, but...
I liked it, but with so much booze the wife should be in coma and not doing all those things...
Dont give away the plot in the title.
Imagine if Moby Dick had been titled "Old Pissed-Off Dude Chases Whale and Gets Killed" or King Kong was named "Big Ape Rases NY, Kidnaps Fay Wray and Drops Dead From Empire State Building".
Try being a little more mysterious. Like "Mormon Hormones" or "Wifeys Terrible Adventure" or some shit like that.
nice¡
okay. the comments are trite. but the detail on the location [ive been to terribles] is right on. the wife likes booze and sex. this sounds like the classic mormon wife sexual and moral issues. lots of repression in the lds church.
which religion it is doesn't matter
The two of them are out for what they think of as a fun time. Whether they can get a recommend or not is irrelevant.
They are no different than any of the other couples who have the kind of sexual escapades described without regard to the norms of others.
If you do not think it is wrong to have sex outside of your marriage, and both of you willingly participate, so what if others do not think the same. If they don't want to do it, that is up to them.
It is when one of us starts to think it is appropriate to tell others, "this is what I believe, therefore so must you" that it gets really messed up. They take it upon themselves to become the morality police announcing that everyone must hold their beliefs and live by their standards, because that is how they personally believe. (Does I.S.I.S. come to mind?)
How a marriage gets destroyed is when one partner tells the other that they believe the same as they do, then goes out and acts contrary to their publicly and privately professed code of ethics.
What I might have trouble with in this little flash story is how the couple acts when they return home. If they put their garments back on, put her thong in a bottom drawer, and slip quietly back into the outward role of card carrying mormons, they are hypocrites. I my mind, the same would hold true regardless of the religion they profess to believe.
Meh
I have read too many stories here, too many Mormon stories, too many wife stories. Parts were unbelievable and others boring. I guess at this stage in my Literotica reading career I need MORE or even less depending. Either way for me it missed the mark. Not bad writing, keep it up, just try to be a little more original or to tease more.
FAIR!
I really would like to say, "Good!" I just can't overlook the word-craft errors to give you more than a three. Please don't get discouraged, according to your Bio, this is just your second story, so you are just getting started. I suggest you pay attention to the comments that seem to offer help. I did and they helped me an awful lot.
Well, I really liked it!
Whoever wrote about the word craft errors is full of crap. This is a HOT, SEXY STORY.
I've been to that Terrible's and know what hot tub you're talking about. The rooms facing the hot tub are all right on top of the tub. My wife also saw several curtains moving around and people gawking at her. Aside from the amount of booze consumed, this is a very plausible story. Keep writing from this niche. A couple of horny Mormons acting like sex starved college kids is cool.
I also liked your other story too.
Very hot
Excellent story
She sounds like a awesome wife
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