What Really Makes A Scientist Mad Ch. 02

Confusing names

Needs some editing - is it Bob or Don? Sherry Ann or Mary Ann or Sherry Anne (see Chapter 1 for that spelling) or just plain Sherry?

Is this a novel?

The pace is very slow and a lot of time is spent explaining things. If this is to be a long novel let everyone know it will be many chapters before anything happens. You are laying a lot of good groundwork but nothing is happening other than he has invented something. There is some excellent software such as MasterWriter which assists in writing both long and short stories.

This story has an excellent beginning but I cannot rate it yet as all it has is groundwork. No erotica has entered it yet other than a hint and a tease.

I like your story a lot! But...

Hi, as others said, you have very promising parts in the story that give a glimpse to a long and nice storyline.
But every time I really start enjoying your train of thought, the story ends.
So, could you publish two chapters at once and maybe take a day or two more time...
But all in all a very nice story!

I like it

take your time and flesh it out.

when are you going to finish it