I normally eschew the hot wife stories, but I am glad I gave this one a read. I look forward to additional chapters. Well-written. The most significant error was switching from past tense to present tense. (I suggested to JD... He agrees to it...)
There are some reasons to like this story; namely, a slutty girlfriend who is eager to suck and fuck, both for her own pleasure and her boyfriend's.
Unfortunately, I found more reasons not to like this story. As others have pointed out already, there is no wife in this story, which not only means it is miscategorized, but it removes the "taboo" factor from the plot. The constant changes from past to present tense, as another mentioned already, are distracting, as are the paragraphs that are far too long.
Given that this is your first story, though, I'm willing to forgive you for all of that. What I can't forgive is the reference to yet another nine (and a half!) inch cock. I'm just so tired of reading stories where every male character has an enormous Johnson that is nearly twice as long as the average. And why does every writer include that extra half inch? It drives me insane.
Anyway, you have the foundation for a decent story here, but you need to work on the execution a little. It's not quite ready for primetime, IMHO.
by
Anonymous07/27/14
neat if different
it would be neat if this lifestyle let her find someone else. These stories tend not to have any consequences. I've talked to a former hot wife who left her husband for someone else. city boy to her being a country girl, she found another man who love raising horses as much as she does. So, it will be interesting if she found someone else. Tension and depth of characters makes a story interesting. Otherwise, this is just another stroke story without any meaning besides for the sex scenes.
Being a real hotwife that started as a hotgirlfriend, I like your story because I lived something similar. So keep going and tell us how was your start. Thanks
I am writing this on behalf on my girlfriend. The person who shared our experiences in way of a story for our pleasure. I thought id share it here as I've enjoyed many other stories I've read here.
It's a little hard to change parts of "story" as it as all fact so I don't know what more she could do about that ?
To the person hoping she meets someone else,
What the hell is that meant to mean? I sincerely hope and expect that she won't.
As far as not being married goes, it is stated in the title. It seems you guys are tougher on what constitutes "married" than the law is,
Maybe you would prefer a segment for defacto relationships ?
by
Anonymous07/28/14
nice work jds, really enjoyed it. i hope you won't be put off by the Haters&Flamers
always a tricky topic/genre this one ,
& tbh the better its written the more negative feedback & comments the Author gets.
its often said that there are alot of repressed readers that get off on & love/hate
the thought of thier wife/partner fucking lots of men with thier approval
that they suck up the story , get thier rocks off & then feel guilty & Flame the Author.
its also said that there are alot of readers recovering from failed marriages/relationships
where thier wife/partner cheated on them & betrayed them badly , & that these guys are drawn like a moth to the flame / fly to the spiders web ... by these type of storys ,
idk why but some pple in anguish ,read this genre to feel even more pain.
go figure....
bottom line , the better the Author writes on this subject ... the more Hate Mail & flaming they get ... so best bet is to not read the negative feedback in any detail.
just tell yourself this: "i got to them , i stirred their emotions"
mission accomplished.
great 1st story , look forward to reading more about your adventures .
always remember ..
nobody is forcing anyone to read your tales ,
if they don't like it
THEN THEY CAN STOP READING IT
Ok JD is excited about you sucking cock... So how is JD going to be kinkier? Does he get any new pussy to play with? Or is the hotwife in training just a selfish bitch that wants lots of cock for herself but can't stand the thought of JD looking at another woman?
English
Another fine new LW author on Lit!
I normally eschew the hot wife stories, but I am glad I gave this one a read. I look forward to additional chapters. Well-written. The most significant error was switching from past tense to present tense. (I suggested to JD... He agrees to it...)
I'll wait...
I'll wait for the next parts to vote and comment....I just hope the story gets better....for now is weak...
Enjoyed it keep going x x
I enjoyed it x Thought it was a very good and descriptive start x keep going and ignore the usual anonymous haters x x
Mixed bag
There are some reasons to like this story; namely, a slutty girlfriend who is eager to suck and fuck, both for her own pleasure and her boyfriend's.
Unfortunately, I found more reasons not to like this story. As others have pointed out already, there is no wife in this story, which not only means it is miscategorized, but it removes the "taboo" factor from the plot. The constant changes from past to present tense, as another mentioned already, are distracting, as are the paragraphs that are far too long.
Given that this is your first story, though, I'm willing to forgive you for all of that. What I can't forgive is the reference to yet another nine (and a half!) inch cock. I'm just so tired of reading stories where every male character has an enormous Johnson that is nearly twice as long as the average. And why does every writer include that extra half inch? It drives me insane.
Anyway, you have the foundation for a decent story here, but you need to work on the execution a little. It's not quite ready for primetime, IMHO.
neat if different
it would be neat if this lifestyle let her find someone else. These stories tend not to have any consequences. I've talked to a former hot wife who left her husband for someone else. city boy to her being a country girl, she found another man who love raising horses as much as she does. So, it will be interesting if she found someone else. Tension and depth of characters makes a story interesting. Otherwise, this is just another stroke story without any meaning besides for the sex scenes.
I'm a real hotwife too.
Being a real hotwife that started as a hotgirlfriend, I like your story because I lived something similar. So keep going and tell us how was your start. Thanks
Loving wife
Not married
Thanks for the feedback
I am writing this on behalf on my girlfriend. The person who shared our experiences in way of a story for our pleasure. I thought id share it here as I've enjoyed many other stories I've read here.
It's a little hard to change parts of "story" as it as all fact so I don't know what more she could do about that ?
To the person hoping she meets someone else,
What the hell is that meant to mean? I sincerely hope and expect that she won't.
As far as not being married goes, it is stated in the title. It seems you guys are tougher on what constitutes "married" than the law is,
Maybe you would prefer a segment for defacto relationships ?
nice work jds, really enjoyed it. i hope you won't be put off by the Haters&Flamers
always a tricky topic/genre this one ,
& tbh the better its written the more negative feedback & comments the Author gets.
its often said that there are alot of repressed readers that get off on & love/hate
the thought of thier wife/partner fucking lots of men with thier approval
that they suck up the story , get thier rocks off & then feel guilty & Flame the Author.
its also said that there are alot of readers recovering from failed marriages/relationships
where thier wife/partner cheated on them & betrayed them badly , & that these guys are drawn like a moth to the flame / fly to the spiders web ... by these type of storys ,
idk why but some pple in anguish ,read this genre to feel even more pain.
go figure....
bottom line , the better the Author writes on this subject ... the more Hate Mail & flaming they get ... so best bet is to not read the negative feedback in any detail.
just tell yourself this: "i got to them , i stirred their emotions"
mission accomplished.
great 1st story , look forward to reading more about your adventures .
always remember ..
nobody is forcing anyone to read your tales ,
if they don't like it
THEN THEY CAN STOP READING IT
Melissa....is that you?
Is this Melissa writing this story?
More please!
Just another cuck...
Ok JD is excited about you sucking cock... So how is JD going to be kinkier? Does he get any new pussy to play with? Or is the hotwife in training just a selfish bitch that wants lots of cock for herself but can't stand the thought of JD looking at another woman?
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Hotwife in Training or
More submissions by jds333.