The First Meeting

Good start but....

Its a bit rushed. Everything happens so fast without much back story. Why was he there? Was she there alone? How did he find an empty room in a club? You have a good story, but you need to work on the flow a bit. =^_^= PK

Not a bad start. There need to be some editing and more plot development so that we connect with the characters. I know typically when weres meet their mates there is an instant connection and they want to mate right then. They also want to claim each other so everyone else know who belong to who...more so the male.

There are tons of supernatural stories here with the same story line. I suggest kind of steering away from the typical werewolves' plot to make your story stand out.

get an editor

You have good imagination.. But having an editor helps. All those slight mistakes will be rectified. Write more stories. Waiting for them..

needs

More background info, an editor and a lil more imagination. Good read to start. So don't give up. Just fine tune it and as you read it out aloud to yourself you will hear your mistakes and feel where you need to add a few more descriptive words. Play with the story, sex is overrated, so don't rush in to it there's always tomorrow.

Get a thesaurus. It Will help with your word play. Good luck and have fun.

Good start

An editor will help with grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. It has a good start, but could use more details like; what do they look like?, why were they there?, how old are they? what are their jobs? what pack (or packs) are they in? if different packs, do they get along? if same pack, why haven't they met before? were does this story take place, and when? Just a few things I'm curious about already.