Hematoma Ch. 04

I am sorry

I have to apologize for this chapter. To be honest, I had been working on this story for more than a year, and I only had two and a half chapters done when I started publishing these because I wanted to see if it was worth continuing.

I've read through and already saw several mistakes I didn't see the first time, such as "I pulled my phone out of my phone" which was supposed to be "pocket", and I missed several lines that should have been spaced. I fear this chapter seems rushed, which it was, and I can only pray it was still enjoyable - however, I will still be revising the chapter overall if I ever hope for this to go to print (which I don't think it will)

Thank you for your understanding.

The mistakes are a small thing and easily rectified. Am enjoying this story. It has real potential. Please continue with it. Thanks.

Seriously...

I think the story is great, mistakes happen and I love that you actually point yours out instead of fighting the readers if they point it out first.
This is a lovely story and I hope you'll keep writing till it's end. By the way, it doesn't sound rushed in any way...just wish this last chapter was longer.

Holy shit You're good!

Hey Asbel,
brilliant story!!
Keep writing. Was dreading u left off..please don't do that!
I have a HUGE phobia of needles and piercings..like reading about them even makes me queasy but I managed through. Such an intriguing and different story!
I don't think it was much rushed but last chapter was written best till now of what you've published.
Do you have a blog or something where u're posting the stories/ have other stories?

Again keep writing. Good job!
:)

(:

I would definitely like to see this continued. The small errors don't bother me.

For the first time ever...

...the story engaged me so much I didn't notice any errors at all. I think you're probably like me—very hard on yourself and an unapologetic perfectionist :) your writing is brilliant and I was worried you had stopped too. I was planning on hounding you regularly until I conviced you to finish :) this chapter didn't feel rushed. None of it has and it is very definitely worth continuing for all kinds of reasons. I too am interested to read more of your work. Can't wait for the next chapter :)

very interesting/fascinating idea for a story's characters. These two are really going to be fun mixing them up. I think Shay doesn't realize how, possibly perfect, yet crazy his life will be with yorick in it. Will ricky reveal what he is? i am intrigued by the feeling that came over Shay as ricky spoke to him. Is ricky controlling him in any way? Do the vamps in your story have any abilities to affect humans, or is it just Shay's response to this sexy, different 'man.' either way, I think it is good that shay found him b/c I think shay was drowning in shame and probably would have killed himself eventually. Maybe ricky will be good for him? I wonder if he happened upon shay or if he was stalking him. seems odd for a vamp to be out during the day for some fresh air.
Look forward to more.

More please

Please continue Shay's story!

Thank you

I'm grateful for the support and will be hurrying to get the fifth chapter out.

So, we already know that there is a vampire in this story - Is that in fact Yorick? We can already infer that. What are his intentions? Is he hypnotizing Shay or is Shay simply infatuated?
All this and more... Next time on Hematoma. Or something.

Lol :)

Eh, you're right. We are making assumptions based on what information you've leaked :) surprise us then :) although, honestly, whatever you write will be enjoyable, surprise or not.

MORE

I love this story. Its very interesting :)

Take your time -

- these stories are worth waiting for! You're actually letting chemistry and tension build, giving room for a slow (as per Literotica standards, at least ;) ) seduction. I dig these characters a bunch, and now want to both hear Yorick's purring voice, and tousle Shay's apparently irresistible hair. Keep up the good work, I will be looking forward to the next thrilling installment. (Same tat time, same tat channel...?)