Keep justifying your actions and maybe you'll be able to believe them, I sure don't. I've learned that no ones ever as bad as we make them out to be and we're not as good as we make ourselves out to be.
Regardless of who provided the DNA, both your husband and your daughter believes that he is her father. You would deprive them both of them because you hate him so much. As well, by your actions, both children will grow up without a father and for what? Because you hate him. But what about you? What kind of parent fucks other people for money? What kind of parent dabbles with drugs? What kind of parent has sex with strangers and numerous one night stands, gangbangs and more?
What makes you a better parent than your ex husband?
I hope this is the end of this sad story...why 5 parts? if she had decided to divorce or even not get married, this sad story never would be written!!!
by
Anonymous08/10/14
"Knock, knock! Who's there?"
NOBODY - because nobody is reading this drivel. It's just awful.
by
Anonymous08/10/14
This whole thing sounds like something you wrote
Just to get it out of your system.
You're a better than average writer. All good writing is story-telling and, whether the words are really in the story or not, they all begin with "Once upon a time."
You've told your story.
You've got your divorce and kept your kids.
Are you through now? Or will you write some more? Did you want to write? Or did you just want to yank the chains of the BTB crowd on LW that you obviously associate with your husband?
If you want to write, time to find another story. This one's over.
Kinda like military assignments. Having more than ONE point in a short story is a mistake. This seems to have seven or more points ... many of which are unrelated!
3* overall
by
Anonymous08/10/14
why even be married?????????
your wife character is so full of hate for her husband that if she does not divorce him soon she will try to kill him or he will kill her if he finds out that she is cheating on him
"Dumbass," the drunken soldier, is the most sympathetic and we never even get to meet him.
by
Anonymous08/11/14
Well written!
Great command of subject, worth a read without question.
by
Anonymous08/11/14
You R a good story teller
Even if you are a man and are telling a story as you have hear it or witnessed it, I read it and enjoyed the realism of it all ! Thank you
by
Anonymous08/11/14
good writing, but plot is eh?
The writing is good, the characters are fucked up. She made herself, whatever her husband does, she doesn't have to sink to his level or below it. She isn't exactly the perfect role model for her children either. Sex scenes are hot, but the plot leaves more to be desired. For me, she doesn't hold the high ground either. There are a lot of women out there committing paternity fraud, having their husbands or ex, supporting their illegitimate children. Out of separating couples, over 30% of children that the husbands supported, didn't know that the child was not theirs. Both parents are wretched people in this stories. She could of kept her dignity intact, if she left long ago. Staying in a bad situation, isn't the lessons you want to teach your children. Children are more perceptive than adult thinks. They pick up behaviors from their parents.
It is difficult to get a good score when your main character is simply not likable. Good writing. Story not so much.
by
Anonymous08/11/14
A good argument
would be this story's main character to introduce - as it is still practice in some countries - also in the US the penalty of stoning.
by
Anonymous08/13/14
LOL what makes her think he'll stay faithful to her
...and what makes him think she'll stay faithful to him? Best of all he'd have the LtC by the balls for fucking an enlisted wife while he was deployed thus ending his rise to Gen. Fuck the cheating cunt
HAA Haa! I like the lez part, but been there & fucked a bunch of wives, Stateside, Germany, Korea, & North Africa. Thats why I stayed for 24 years. Between the EM wives, & the WACs, I never ran out of pussy. Even got a WAC company CO in Germany, once!
Now this story is more about her fucking the dykes than about fucking the LTC. I am glad she enjoyed her little pussy party.
by
Anonymous09/12/14
The series title says it all. I liked the series. And yes, you do need to get an editor.
by
Anonymous03/07/15
can understand why the scores where so low
because sick pervert cucks like "dirtyofag" like this crap
by
Anonymous03/07/15
Well in thast case I'll help to raise the score and piss off annony at the same time
What if Dumbass, was so dumb that killed her and her lovers? This wife was so dumb, that didn't figure it out that soon she will be old, lonely, bitter and whoring herself in some back alley...The children will be gone...And dumbass will laugh when and if he crosses her path in some street...1*
by
Anonymous03/29/15
What a sad ugly story. At least she ended up doing the right thing, for herself and kids.
Where's the eye bleach. I need some decontaminating from this horrid shit.
Sorry guys, but this is a 5 when taken as a whole.
Fantastic writing, real crisp and to the point. The topic is no doubt distasteful, but the circumstances make for a lot of reader interest. I feel that such a story and details provided could not be other than at least true in part, and want to congratulate the writer for their efforts.
by
Anonymous11/06/15
SICK !
Just sick !
by
Anonymous11/08/15
This ugly shit may happen to people.
But I damm sure don't have to waste my time reading about it. Just mangy dogs fucking in the ally.
by
Anonymous01/29/16
Cornel is a tree or shrub -- Colonel is a military officer
Grammar and proper word usage are the first prerequisites of writing. This doesn't deserve a passing grade in high school English -- trashy story and miserable use of the English language.
and hard to believe you didnt live this to be able to write it so well. From your bio, I take it you didnt, but man you either did your research, had a girl friend who lived it, or I dont know.
Great job, going to have to read some of your other stuff.
The level of disrespect and hatred that this cunt author has for men and men in the military is absolutely disgusting.
To think that a cheating cunt whore that has to be diseased by now is the better parent, shows who exactly is the real dumbass... and that is an insult to dumbasses. She is a parasite. A pondscum parasite.
Your stories are good but if you could slow down and bring ppl into the mind of a character not just their crotch, they would be amazing. In this format sex is important, but so is who's having sex, not just I'm a slut and fuck alot. Your writing has great potential, loved the concept.
English
Right. Keep on calling him "dumbass"
Keep justifying your actions and maybe you'll be able to believe them, I sure don't. I've learned that no ones ever as bad as we make them out to be and we're not as good as we make ourselves out to be.
Regardless of who provided the DNA, both your husband and your daughter believes that he is her father. You would deprive them both of them because you hate him so much. As well, by your actions, both children will grow up without a father and for what? Because you hate him. But what about you? What kind of parent fucks other people for money? What kind of parent dabbles with drugs? What kind of parent has sex with strangers and numerous one night stands, gangbangs and more?
What makes you a better parent than your ex husband?
Worst shit ever
# 1 There was no 0
Spelling
In the military, his rank is colonel (pronounced "kernal").
Otherwise not a bad story, I liked it.
Hope....
I hope this is the end of this sad story...why 5 parts? if she had decided to divorce or even not get married, this sad story never would be written!!!
"Knock, knock! Who's there?"
NOBODY - because nobody is reading this drivel. It's just awful.
This whole thing sounds like something you wrote
Just to get it out of your system.
You're a better than average writer. All good writing is story-telling and, whether the words are really in the story or not, they all begin with "Once upon a time."
You've told your story.
You've got your divorce and kept your kids.
Are you through now? Or will you write some more? Did you want to write? Or did you just want to yank the chains of the BTB crowd on LW that you obviously associate with your husband?
If you want to write, time to find another story. This one's over.
Probably realiatic
or at least more real than many would like to admit. Do military officers fuck their soldiers wives?
All over the place
Kinda like military assignments. Having more than ONE point in a short story is a mistake. This seems to have seven or more points ... many of which are unrelated!
3* overall
why even be married?????????
your wife character is so full of hate for her husband that if she does not divorce him soon she will try to kill him or he will kill her if he finds out that she is cheating on him
You are a skank.
Go away, whore.
Thoroughly detestable characters
"Dumbass," the drunken soldier, is the most sympathetic and we never even get to meet him.
Well written!
Great command of subject, worth a read without question.
You R a good story teller
Even if you are a man and are telling a story as you have hear it or witnessed it, I read it and enjoyed the realism of it all ! Thank you
good writing, but plot is eh?
The writing is good, the characters are fucked up. She made herself, whatever her husband does, she doesn't have to sink to his level or below it. She isn't exactly the perfect role model for her children either. Sex scenes are hot, but the plot leaves more to be desired. For me, she doesn't hold the high ground either. There are a lot of women out there committing paternity fraud, having their husbands or ex, supporting their illegitimate children. Out of separating couples, over 30% of children that the husbands supported, didn't know that the child was not theirs. Both parents are wretched people in this stories. She could of kept her dignity intact, if she left long ago. Staying in a bad situation, isn't the lessons you want to teach your children. Children are more perceptive than adult thinks. They pick up behaviors from their parents.
Hard to score well.
It is difficult to get a good score when your main character is simply not likable. Good writing. Story not so much.
A good argument
would be this story's main character to introduce - as it is still practice in some countries - also in the US the penalty of stoning.
LOL what makes her think he'll stay faithful to her
...and what makes him think she'll stay faithful to him? Best of all he'd have the LtC by the balls for fucking an enlisted wife while he was deployed thus ending his rise to Gen. Fuck the cheating cunt
Retired US Army Guy
HAA Haa! I like the lez part, but been there & fucked a bunch of wives, Stateside, Germany, Korea, & North Africa. Thats why I stayed for 24 years. Between the EM wives, & the WACs, I never ran out of pussy. Even got a WAC company CO in Germany, once!
Now this story is more about her fucking the dykes than about fucking the LTC. I am glad she enjoyed her little pussy party.
The series title says it all. I liked the series. And yes, you do need to get an editor.
can understand why the scores where so low
because sick pervert cucks like "dirtyofag" like this crap
Well in thast case I'll help to raise the score and piss off annony at the same time
I gave it a 51!
What if....
What if Dumbass, was so dumb that killed her and her lovers? This wife was so dumb, that didn't figure it out that soon she will be old, lonely, bitter and whoring herself in some back alley...The children will be gone...And dumbass will laugh when and if he crosses her path in some street...1*
What a sad ugly story. At least she ended up doing the right thing, for herself and kids.
Where's the eye bleach. I need some decontaminating from this horrid shit.
I have bleech for you dear annony. But it goes into yuor mouth
and down your throat. I gave this a 5 for effort and content. And because you pissed off the asshole annony!!
Sorry guys, but this is a 5 when taken as a whole.
Fantastic writing, real crisp and to the point. The topic is no doubt distasteful, but the circumstances make for a lot of reader interest. I feel that such a story and details provided could not be other than at least true in part, and want to congratulate the writer for their efforts.
SICK !
Just sick !
This ugly shit may happen to people.
But I damm sure don't have to waste my time reading about it. Just mangy dogs fucking in the ally.
Cornel is a tree or shrub -- Colonel is a military officer
Grammar and proper word usage are the first prerequisites of writing. This doesn't deserve a passing grade in high school English -- trashy story and miserable use of the English language.
Powerful, really quite good
and hard to believe you didnt live this to be able to write it so well. From your bio, I take it you didnt, but man you either did your research, had a girl friend who lived it, or I dont know.
Great job, going to have to read some of your other stuff.
The level of disrespect and hatred that this cunt author has for men and men in the military is absolutely disgusting.
To think that a cheating cunt whore that has to be diseased by now is the better parent, shows who exactly is the real dumbass... and that is an insult to dumbasses. She is a parasite. A pondscum parasite.
slow down
Your stories are good but if you could slow down and bring ppl into the mind of a character not just their crotch, they would be amazing. In this format sex is important, but so is who's having sex, not just I'm a slut and fuck alot. Your writing has great potential, loved the concept.
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