It's No Mistake

Well said

Seemed pretty straight forward to me....Shared the happenings and the result. He left. End of story.

Firas, no one is saying they don't understand it. We're song is boring, poorly written, and not at all worth reading.

IT'S GREAT THAT YOUR BACK! BUT::::

Like the story,but Can you Finish your story you started on 2009! Please Finish your story! HOOK ,LINE,SINKER !!!!!

Well no.

'Flash story' doesn't cover EVERY sin.

Let me ask a few questions:

Who are these people? Do we know them? No.
How did this cheating happen? Sorry, but if he is beating her or refusing her sex, he has it coming. All we know is some cheating took place.
What emotions did this story invoke? None discernible.
What is happening? A man is talking to a woman and he is ONLY talking about the nature of mistakes, something already highlighted by the author in the very first line of the story! So now he is saying it twice. BOY he sure told HER! There. That is the only emotion in this entire monologue.

Contrast this to 'The Cost' by qhml1. There, even the location, the front porch, was a character, representing the past, present and future of the relationship. While it was ALSO only a conversation between a man and a woman, we know who they were, we felt emotional connections to both of them, we knew WHAT happened with some detail, we got a sense of the consequences of her actions re her sister. We had movement, visuals, actions and reactions. History.

That story was an interesting brocade weave with some texture. This one bye Ntropy586 is a white scarf with a single black line though it. Maybe a good white scarf, but that is it.

I am not disparaging the monologue. However, The Unoriginalist is correct: there is no story here. Defenders can't except to say they like the fact 'He sure told her!" Well, LIKE that! No issues. But don't try to tell me that is a story. Nothing is happening here, nothing was referenced in the past and nothing is stated about the future. This is a very small segment, a diatribe, not a story.

more chapters

Boring and non-erotic.

I read another comment for another story and I think it is appropriate. We open Literotica and click on Erotic Stories wanting to read erotica. Is this erotica? No. . Loving Wife? No. Swingers? No. Sharing? No. And More? Maybe it's therapy for bitter men who've had bad luck with women. I don't know.

please re-retire yourself

This is utter shit

Illustrating the problem

Imagine that you went on a site that was devoted to cop stories. So every story there is liberally spattered with things like car chases, mystery, drama, danger, and yes...even cheating spouses.

Then, you come upon one little flash story that consists entirely of a detective lecturing a murderer for six paragraphs about what an asshole he is while the murderer listens avidly, considers every word, and begins to behave in a sorrowful and regretful manner. We learn nothing about the crime, the journey that led to his arrest, or his personal history. We only read the lecture, and the occasional description of his tears.

As a reader, you might appreciate the cop's logic and the fact that a criminal was captured. You might briefly enjoy the fantasy that murderers can be rehabilitated through a kinder person's all-knowing wisdom. But the story itself wouldn't mean much to you, because up until it was basically over you weren't even involved. You walked in while everything was wrapping up.

On the other hand, if another story included an identical scene, but only unveiled it after a series of powerful reader-investing events...visiting the grisly murder scene, journeying from a lack of evidence to the point of having a suspect, discovering his larger intention and facing the fear of additional murders while desperately manhunting for him...that scene would carry much more weight, and be a part of something far more engaging. By the time it got to that silly little lecture, you would be so invested in the characters and their adventure that it's impracticality wouldn't even be noticed. In fact, the author could even bring you to the point of belief that these people would act this way using the character development moments earlier in the story. By developing story and inhabitants, he could make the unrealistic feel genuine and true. That's the real power of a successful story....and yes, even flash stories can develop a greater amount of this emotional context.

And, on a side note...I do really like some of this authors other stories.

Yup, almost a monologue.

But Alicia sets the opening and the title.

It's NOT a mistake. So many of the LW women describe their cheating as a mistake and it is not. It was a decision and choice not to honor the vows of fidelity that most people make when they get married. Most people choose/write their own vows and include promises of fidelity. Setting aside vows made in public before God, family, and friends should have some meaning and not be cast aside by "accident".

This story is short and to the point and answers all those self serving descriptions of "one" "mistake". BTW, one? One guy maybe but many rendezvous'. He is correct, the "mistake" was assuming she could get away with it. Many crooks figure they are smarter than the police and will get away with it as well. They deliberately rob a store. No mistake there. The mistake is that they thought they would never get caught. After they are caught they are soooooo remorseful.

Although I liked the theme and plot, for some reason I found myself stumbling on the prose a bit.

I know it's shocking but. ..

A story can suck even if you agree with something said in it. Disliking this story doesn't mean you agree with a character or don't, it just means you found it boring and uninteresting. It's okay, you don't have to reflexively praise everyone who hates women just like you do.

He broke it down in a way that Alicia understood that she planned the cheating.

TheUnoriginalist is calling the kettle black!

You pontificate about this story's plot being self-righteous because it is merely a smug lecture which lacks the "meaty" details that should lead up to the "coup de grâce". However, your Boilerplate Rendering could be construed as being just as guilty of not meeting your standards. Your story doesn't unearth how the Karen got seduced, nor does it show the supposed friendship between Carl and John even though they were "friends".

There's no back story: we're just thrust into the misery shit-hole which is John's self-loathing life. Sure, he doesn't do any lecturing, but because he doesn't do any talking Karen is equally justified in continuing the affair because her wimp of a husband decided to pursue a selfish contingency plan, instead of respecting her enough - as HIS wife - to either tackle the problem head-on or reclaim the marriage.

Furthermore, you portray Karen as a stupid bitch even though she's supposed to be astute. She would have cottoned onto John's plan of "emotional divorce" after her "blinded by lust" tryst died a slow death. Once aware and penitent of her sins, Karen would have realized John wasn't going to forgive her or salvage the family unit and see his plan was to torpedo the marriage after the children were old enough to handle the separation. In this scenario, Karen would have cut her losses and divorced John. Assuming the story was set in a no fault state, John would have been financially and publicly castrated by his scorned wife.

I get you want to read a "full" story, but your own is flawed so are in a position to lecture the rest of us?

HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW

a gross tactical error had ensued, TK U MLJ LV NV

Interesting

The "cuckies" (you know who you are) are trashing this short story for being boring, but yet they read every trashy willing cuckold story in this category and praise it too high heaven no matter how repetitive and boring they are. They attack every negative comment against those stories and call others out for reading something they shouldn't. But yet, here they are reading something they know they're not going to like and trash it. Figure that one out. Hypocritical ring a bell. As far as story goes, it was short, to the point, didn't really excite me one way or the other, yet consider it a better read than 90% of the cuckold stories that dominate the loving wives category.

Hmm, anons day they don't like people trashing stories they shouldn't read, yet they go into other stories and do the same thing. Good thing they're anons, so their opinions are inherently completely invalid and worthless.

2 star

don't believe up to ur potential,, just a series of pointed highly educated statements

what all the complaining about

We are told this was going to be a short story. The author brought us in where the man is about to leave the soon to be ex wife. We are told why. We even have a man who keeps his balls intact... So what is all the complaining about.

You know realy the guy is right...

I think as others, if you put more work into your short little sorties you may be able write something wonderful....bill

WELL AT LEAST ONE OF THEM GOT IT RIGHT

but the other, just thought What the Fuck Happened, TK U MLJ LV NV

mistake? uhuh

cheating =\= mistake

cheating = poor, but calculated, decision

What a great vignette!

It spelled out what so many just can't seem to understand, in a clear, concise manner.

WOW

Just read through the comments; clear to see the perverts can't stand for right and wrong to be laid out so convincingly! They want us to believe there is no such thing as Right only "what is right for me at this particular time"; but a tour of the Loving Wives Hall of Fame shows what the consensus is. Quite a dearth of willing cuck stories there...

Hmm, interesting how the btb crowd claims to be the majority in this section based on rating and comments, then bemoans how the cuckold authors outnumber the 'real men' by so much. It's almost like this giant btb crowd is a handful of cowardly anons who would never post anything other than death threats and abusive comments over and over again pretending to be multiple people while spamming the votes, while the section is actually primarily made up of people who just post their stories, read others, and like anyone should on most websites just ignore the comment threads.

Nah! Can't be that. That would mean that people like SplitAces couldn't keep pointing to the ratings to defend their stories not being moved into proper categories.

Now that is a Flash Story

No details - none needed - he is done - bye bye

LESSONS LEARNED

are not always the best or smartest. TK U MLJ LV NV

Good start

Nice to see an author return after such a long hiatus.
Surely there's more that can be added. The muse can't be that stingy! :o)

What's the Fuss?

Yes, this is a short story. Yes, I wish it was longer...BUT I am not the author. He must have wanted to present a 'snapshot' of just one reason that cheaters use. Yes, he could have told us about how they met, in high school, in college, at work, etc. Yes, he could have told us how she got bored, got drunk, had hormonal problems, lacked excitement in her life, wanted to try someone different in bed, etc. etc. But he is the author. He just wanted to present a snapshot. Sure we were not invested in the characters, but so what.