This could be a great story. Way to short, which caused it to be very rushed. I would rewrite this. Take your time. Get a story line together. Plan for more than one chapter. Grammar wasn't the greatest, but I have seen worse.
This is intended as a short story told in a way you might tell your friends! isn't astory always better when it could have happened to you?
Please vote and enjoy.
by
Anonymous08/08/14
way to rushed
no background or character development and NO PLOT just a sloppy rush to ugly group sex and a waste of time. do not post any more crap like this keep it to yourself from now on.
English
not bad but
This could be a great story. Way to short, which caused it to be very rushed. I would rewrite this. Take your time. Get a story line together. Plan for more than one chapter. Grammar wasn't the greatest, but I have seen worse.
Short Story
This is intended as a short story told in a way you might tell your friends! isn't astory always better when it could have happened to you?
Please vote and enjoy.
way to rushed
no background or character development and NO PLOT just a sloppy rush to ugly group sex and a waste of time. do not post any more crap like this keep it to yourself from now on.
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