All Comments on 'The Phyllis Files Ch. 01'

I really like your writing and will continue to read your stories, however you are taking away from your story when you make the broad strokes of painting everyone who doesn't seem to share tea party political views as little better than scum.

Your writing is too good to be burdened by a clear political bias.

I hope that you can take this as constructive criticism and I look forward to reading your future posts.

You are extremely good if not excellent in ALL of your writing. I know why, but it is a shame it takes so long between stories. Please keep going. I look forward to all of your "cases".

... Bedspread02 calling me a Tea Partyer, while some private messages are calling me a Leftwinger. Heh! Oh well, politics are part of some of my stories, so whatever side of the political aisle you're on, just try to solve the mysteries and don't worry about the rest of it...

I really enjoy your storytelling and trying to solve the “who done it”. Please try and keep the episodes posting within a day or two of each other if possible. I start to get agitated when episodes are posted a week between each installment.

I am glad that you have moved away from the direction you were going a couple of story arc’s ago of basically looking like Don had a hit list of enemies and you were just going down and crossing them off one story arc at a time (Trilogy Series-Ned and the rogue CIA cell, Dark Side Series-Capitan Malone, Senator Allen).

I much prefer your old method where you interweave intrigue such as the case of the Executed Evangelist (who kill Jonas Oldeeds and who was targeting Don?) Case of the Black Badges (Who is behind this group and what are their goals), Case of the Black Widow (Other than their hate for Don, what are the goals of this group?), Caught in the Act (Why did Karen Warner have Coach Harlan try and kill her brother when there would be a direct connection back to her? Is Todd back on his Mother’s side?)

I think it’s much more fun to have Don outsmart them or their proxies.

In answer to Bedspread02 comments, my experiences in real life are Cop’s tend to lean towards the conservative side politically for the most part so I can see that as Don’s point of view. However he sure is not conservative on his views of extra-marital sex. While I don’t have a problem with Don and Laura having an open marriage, I think all the incest is over the top for his good guy character (his mom and sister/wife and Ex-wife) even though for the most part it is conceptual, it ruins the stories for me. I could see it for his evil sister and nephew Ned.

I certainly hope you don’t have him starting have bisexual or gay sex because that would really ruin it for me. I would have been perfectly happy to have read your stories for the police drama and have him have been monogamous to Melinda with 10 kids.

I can please some of the people some of the time... Maybe we should start a thread in the Literotica Story Discussion Circle? Seriously: the Ned story was the culmination of the entire early series of stories, which has been in my head for ten years (see when Todd & Melina was posted, then the next set 7 years later, and so on). The Senator Allen thread was more recent, and meant to introduce "Justice v. The Law",and there will be more of that. I also had to wrap up the CIA rogue cell; that story had matured to where it needed to conclude. New threads are being introduced, as well. As to the politics, I embellish both sides and really cliche them up on purpose, and for the literary purposes of the stories, but you can decides for yourselves who is what. I'm just presenting the stories. As to the sex...well, Literotica *IS* a sex-oriented story board. :-) I also like putting in kinky and deviant stuff. Don't worry, Don is not gay and will not become gay; of course, if you don't know by now that Cindy is a lesbian, I can't help you...

Don’t get me wrong, I REALLY appreciate all your hard work. I was just trying to give constructive criticism.

I was actually happy that Ned was killed off (he was certainly evil and deserved it) and the rogue CIA cell was tied to him trying to recruit him so that does make sense.

You have invested a lot of time creating the backgrounds for a lot of anti-heroes and weaving them into your stories. Some that might be Don’s intellectual peers (Elizabeth, Wargrave, Vision/Eckert, maybe others from the Black Badge Gang?) some level2 anti heroes who could not match intellect but keep Don on his toes or be a thorn in his side (Warner’s, Ward, Ikea/Lewis/SBI , Woodburn, Oldeeds, corrupt politician friends of Sen Allen). I was just wondering who was going to be left to be a challenge to Don at the pace they were dropping after those two story arc’s. Perhaps if you had another "Case" file in between those two to break it up I would not have noticed it so much.

As far as the kinky or deviant sex, I think that would be appropriate for the evil doers. It actually fits for Elizabeth and Ned (they are both insane). Personally, Incest, bondage, cuckolding, gay or lesbian sex or beastality has always been a turn off for me so I start skipping paragraphs when I run across it in a story.

I guess I am just old fashion. I probably would have had him and Melinda divorce after she cuckolded him in the first series or had Elizabeth or Ned kill her and let him play the field with all the different woman if that was the direction you wanted to go. If Don is not interested in committing to a marriage, why bother getting remarried to Laura. He could have been friends with benefits with here just like he is with half the female population. Hell, by the time you finish this telling Don's story, have the town's population will be his offspring.

His sexual behavior just does not fit the moral code I think Don would live by based on how he see the world in Black or white or Justice over the Law. You are definitely commit at this point.

I like theses little asides and you write them well.

*****Thanks for the read.