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I like very much that you conclude with the first line after describing the content of the dreams as advertised and as actual.
What can I say? Reality can be sweeter than nightmares, but you definitely know about nightmares too as you describe them so vividly. You never have any doubts about adverts, eh?
5ed!
Still like this one
Was kinda hoping it would have an ending along the lines of
Now that I dream with you.
I know it's implied but I like the expressed happy ending.
i loved this
In the threads and here still,
The imagery in the first four lines is clear and bright, everything is flowing beautiful and then you turn it into a sewage plant in such a sudden fashion that I had to slow down my read and wade through the proverbial to get to the core of the poem, thanks for putting me metaphorically neck deep in shit butters :p
The final line gives release to the poem like a snap of the fingers but lingering shit scented discomfort is still there like the last remnants of a bad dream,
But also adds the relief of you never having those dreams any more. Beauty to horror, to salvation in only sixteen lines. Brilliant. 5ed
A bit of a relief...
I wonder why you changed the construct of "anymore/any more" between the opening line and the end. I feel that either way you could have gotten away without saying anymore at all. I know it doesn't feel as conversational without it so maybe that's why you didn't pare it off. No matter. I enjoyed this one. Thank you for the thought provoking read.
CC
Your next assignment shall be
" His Salty Taters "
Have it on my desk by tomorrow's end.
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