All Comments on 'Righting A Wrong'

by JimBob44

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  • 396 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
no no

Yes it is a good story

No it is not too long

no - no - no

Yes i am looling forward to morer r stories of you

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
WHEN YOU RUN THE GAMUT OF STEREOTYPES

the real truth and cream rises to the top. TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Needlessly racist

If I could give it 0 stars, I would.

IdiotsavantIdiotsavantover 9 years ago
Racist?

I found nothing in this story to show that the author has any racist attitudes. It was a well written and enjoyable story.

Thank you for the submission.

rick_ohrick_ohover 9 years ago
A good read

Interesting story. Hard to follow the flow in a few places, but the length is fine, and the writing is good. Would like to see a followup.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Great Story, JimBob

Yes, your stories tend to ramble and involve lots of quirky people that are sometimes almost caricatures of the worst of the worst. But they are great stories! People who don't like your style (which should be no surprise after so many submissions) don't have to read them! For the rest of us, we look forward to the next one!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Quirky

Your stories are much different from the norm..... and much better. A five.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
It Is Very Good

I have read all your stories and no it is not very long.

It is very good and nicely written.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Thanks.

It was a nice story. I really enjoyed it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Actually, a good read

I did enjoy reading this story.

It was as long as it needed to be

You've done a fine job without an editor

It makes you pay attention if there are more than a few characters

The story did jump around, but again, you had to pay attention

No, you don't suck...

it wasn't stupid, it was more real than a lot of the stories posted here, even though it's made up

It's going to be a better day.

Regards,

Nedthebundler

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Exceptional!

Wonderful story and characters. Exceptional dialogue. Many good stories on this site are just painful to read due to such poor grammar, punctuation, spelling and lack of editing. If you're not a published writer, you should be! In fact, with some professional work, this could definitely be a screenplay. Thank you.

art1972art1972over 9 years ago
Your work

Nice work.

CSD2CSD2over 9 years ago
Welcome back

Nice to be able to visit your corner of Louisiana again.

studebakerhawkstudebakerhawkover 9 years ago
You're named JimBob and you're from Louisiana,

so I'm going out on a limb and guess that when you REALLY got in trouble, your parents called you JamesRobert. Well, no worries about that here. JimBob, you done good. Thanks for sharing with us.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Liked it

As you said, it was long and jumped around a bit. Good basic story though. Enjoyed it. Thought the death of Lisa should have warranted more than just a shot of gasoline, a match, and a comment about Katy needing clothes since the fire. It would have flowed a little better at that point with even a more descriptive paragraph of everyone finding out since I kept wondering at first what Katy's response to her mothers death would be. All in all, still better writing than I can do by a long shot - Thanks!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
excelllent story

Yes it was long yes there was a lot of characters. No you do not suck who cares if it has mistakes. If I was paying for this story I would expect to find no spelling errors or grammar mistakes. Loved the plot and the outcome . I would say that some of the characters needed to be explained a little more they appear and the reason for them being there is never explored. Overall a truly fun read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Great

Very enjoyable story. There is no VA hospital in Baton Rouge. There are ones in New Orleans, Alexandria and Shreveport.

Boyd Percy

DustyRhinoDustyRhinoover 9 years ago
good yarn

coulda been a little smoother... but still a good readable story

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Thoughts

It was very enjoyable stupid shit.

Most people are capable of sucking, or straws wouldn't be popular.

Jumping is good cardiovascular excercise, and as such can be good for people.

You should look again at how many characters some big name authors use before assuming you have too many.

Everybody who writes needs an editor, because it can be hard to see your own mistakes.

A story is only too long if the reader thinks it is, and is an individual aesthetic. I would have stayed happy if the story had been longer and stayed as entertaining.

I certainly hope you enjoyed writing this story at least as much as I enjoyed reading it.

Thank you for posting it.

harismileysharismileysover 9 years ago
Excellent story, truly believable

And the Louisiana crowd really make reading the story so very enjoyable. Keep it up. Give us more.

Phil_PatsfanPhil_Patsfanover 9 years ago
A reat story

I thoroughly enjoyed it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
good show

well done. good loving story

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Dude!!

This story was GREAT!!! At first, I was not going to read the whole thing and afterwards I COULD NOT STOP!!!

Great Job!!

SKCBaitSKCBaitover 9 years ago

...and knowing is half the battle.

bigtextruckerbigtextruckerover 9 years ago
good story

i really like your story. there was quite a few grammatical errors but i was able to overlook that. the bouncing around was hard to follow and quite a few people died, however, i would say this was one of the better stories i've read in a long time.

JamesRTickitJamesRTickitover 9 years ago
Great

This is a real story about real people. Fabulous! Thank you.

BelgiumBelgiumover 9 years ago

Very good story! Loved reading it. There were some annoying spelling mistakes though but they didn’t detract attention from the storyline.

One negative thing though: Katy’s mother is violently murdered and you leave out all further mentioning of that event (besides an oblique reference at Melissa’s funeral) and how it affected Katy and Russell. That should have been adressed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
hey jimbob

Yes, it did have some errors but it was a better-than-average read and I don't have the time or balls to write one so my hat's off to you. But you should write another chapter or two and explain about his sister describing how many and the gender of his children that were yet to be born, what happened to the killers and what happened to Darrell if he left his wife. Keep writing. Samsiewamsie

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
couldn't have said it better than the author already did

"Yes, it was too long.

Yes, I need an editor.

Yes, there were too many people to keep track of.

Yes it jumped around too much.

Yes I suck.

Yes this was stupid shit."

and

Yes, Darryl was a racist, narcissistic, sexual predator.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Good Job 5/5

JimBob44 concluded: "I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading it"

I read these stories - the good ones - for my pleasure. Thank you for writing it. .

"Yes, it was too long."

Actually, it could have been longer: you could have spent some space on what happened as a result of the murders of Lisa and the other three.

And you could go on another track about Ethel.

"Yes, I need an editor."

I've been paid a good deal of money to be an editor, but I don't recall anything that I wouldn't put down to your own style. I'm very particular but I do not recall anything that caused my eyes to cross. ;-)

"Yes, there were too many people to keep track of."

Naw, your character count was fine.

"Yes it jumped around too much.

I'm an old fart, but I didn't get lost.

"Yes I suck."

As long as you don't bite, it's OK to suck.

"Yes this was stupid shit."

I enjoyed it enough to read it all in one day. I skip stupid shit.

"Have a nice day."

Thank you, and you have one as well.

ram

cancapercancaperover 9 years ago
yes

hi i liked it ,it wasnt too long ,i read lot of edited stories that suck,the other stuff is crap you write them i"ll read tham the rest of the pickers can go pound sand thanks again

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Glad To See You Back

I forgot to add this to my earlier comment. I guess you write from home now.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Just for the joy of reading a good story

Good story with good character development for those that needed it. Liked it all. Jumpy in parts but who cares? Enjoyable.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Hey...

Welcome Back, Jim...

I suppose that your doing your stories from home now...lol. I do hope to see more stories from you...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Nice

Despite what you said about the story, I still liked it. I liked the "normal" people. They had average physical attributes, real life problems, and normal concerns. There were no SEALs or rich beautiful people. I thank you for a story about the average person, doing his best to meet their responsibility abilities, and finding love. Thanks for that.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Loved it!

Yes, there were the errors you described, who gives a shit? So you didn't have it edited, who gives a shit? I have to pay a professional editor to edit my novels, but this is a nonpaid erotica site, so who gives a shit? These stories are where writers learn to write. People pay good money for my books so there is the difference and why unless your writing is atrocious, which it's not, you don't need an editor.

I enjoyed your story. Did I think it was too long? Maybe. Should it have been shorter? Maybe. Who gives a shit?

I'll say this though, I cried like a baby when Melissa died. And I cried like a baby when he hired the violinists and asked Penny to marry him. And I laughed in other places and I was angry in a few. That is what you want from a story, to elicit responses such as I had, from your readers. But one thing I learned years ago. No matter how good a story is, there will be those who hated it. So don't sweat the small shit.

JP

Handley_PageHandley_Pageover 9 years ago
Not bad at all!

Yes, it should have been in 2 parts,

Yes, an Editor might have helped,

Yes, it was confusing at times

But

Once we passed the half-way point, it read quite well.

I look forward to reading a few more!

HP

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
The best

About the best story I have read on here in the last 5 years. Keep on writing.

chris73170chris73170over 9 years ago
loved it

jim bob i loved it. i like russel how he started out hating penny and by then end fell in love

gatorhermitgatorhermitover 9 years ago
Quirky Story (but I liked it)

One thing that was strange - lots of good character development on the psycho first wife and her evil companions, and then, bam - half way through the story they are all gone suddenly in a puff of smoke. Could have kept the tension between the good and the evil going for a bit longer. I figured Penny for the good eventual wife up front but that didn't make the story less enjoyable. Interesting story, though. BTW I didn't see the author or the story as racist.

WillLynWillLynover 9 years ago
Part 2????

Loved it, when ya gonna write a second part about Ethyl? As far as an editor goes, there are several great ones here at Lit that are free. Just visit the volunteer editors section. I have one helping me with a series I'm writing. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. Writing is about expression, its yours and yours alone, don't let the bastards out there bring you down! Look forward to more from you.

LeFrog08LeFrog08over 9 years ago
Hey, this was good....

and not "stupid shit" as the author writes at the end.Come on JB, don't be so hard on yourself.

I liked it, and so did others...isn't that what counts and the end?

LeFrog.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
thanks

had to take a "personal" day to finish reading it. cheers

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichover 9 years ago
I could have went for another eleven more pages.

a great storyline and a well written story.

Thanks for the read

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Loved it!

I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading it.

You are welcome, thank you for writing it...

Yes, it was too long.

Nope, just right...

Yes, I need an editor.

True...

Yes, there were too many people to keep track of.

A good editor would help with that...

Yes it jumped around too much.

A little...

Yes I suck.

Wrong...

Yes this was stupid shit.

Wrong, it was a good read...

Have a nice day.

You have a nice day too...

racoon1174racoon1174over 9 years ago
And yes it was awesome!

And yes it was awesome! Such a great job developing some good characters but I felt a bit confused on some of the minor players like the cops. Other then that it was perfect if it wasn't free I would have paid money to read it.

bearsladybearsladyover 9 years ago
Absolutely...

loved it! Russel was such a great character. Penny was great also (even if she was a lawyer lol). Am seriously lovin your stories.

OneragnarOneragnarover 9 years ago
thought it was a great story

I enjoyed the story, even if you had doubts on your own ability , so hope you write a part # 2. You can even make it longer, as I really dislike the short stories some writers submit,you just start to enjoy one of their stories and it's over.Rated your story with 5 Stars (think you deserved more but 5 was upper limit offered).Keep up your fine work.

RogueAlanRogueAlanover 9 years ago
great job!

more.

definitely keep writing and keep sharing!

thank you

RA

goatman92goatman92over 9 years ago
Great Story

I love the overall story. You of course need an editor but other than that, it's awesome. The conflicts seem a bit hastened though.

seekermikeseekermikeover 9 years ago
Best stupid shit I read in a while.

Still a damned compelling read. Keep the "stupid shit" coming.

fafhrd09fafhrd09over 9 years ago
Compelling

Yes, it was perhaps a bit long.

Yes, a good editor might have helped.

I don't think it jumped around too much, but what do I know?

I think the cast of characters, as regards size, was fine.

I think you got the most important thing right; you nailed the characterization, and made your readers care about the main characters enough that all the other factors didn't matter - so here I am, up too late because I wanted to finish. So all the other stuff? Unimportant.

If you ever want an editor, loom me up - medinnus@gmail.com

connoisseur29connoisseur29over 9 years ago
****

Hey! I like your "stupid shit". Whadaya charge to suck? Good story JB. If you edit yourself, you do fine work. I usually hang out in the "Loving Wives" section, but this was a nice change up. Not too long for my taste, but what do I know? Cheers!

Sidney43Sidney43over 9 years ago

Really liked this one as it was a nice romance with your peculiar brand of humor to entertain me.

Pappy7Pappy7over 9 years ago
Excellent job.

This was one great read. I don't usually go in for the romance section, but this story read like a book from the library. Might have been some misspellings, I didn't notice them and the grammar and sentence structure is what it is. True to the story.

excellent work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
romance from adversity

a moving story of adversity turning into romance. well written and a compelling read

fafhrd09fafhrd09over 9 years ago
Ahh, irony.

Nothing like a typo in my offer to cheer up a bunch of people )

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Not bad

It was a surprise, good story

chytownchytownover 9 years ago
Damn I Hate Long Ass Stories*****

So I Thought!!! What a fun well written story. Thanks for sharing this great read.

yowietooyowietooover 9 years ago
Great Story

Well written, enjoyed every minute

BigJohn601BigJohn601over 9 years ago
Yes it was long...but it was good long.

Well written and presented. Thanks.

bruce22bruce22over 9 years ago
Liked it

Yes you need a proof reader. Lovely characters and a fine romantic plot shine through the small errors. Write on....

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
ur usual

2 star effort

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
GREAT READ!!!!

Hello ! I enjoyed your story! I'm Africacan American and as I read your story I didnt find it racist , I found it showed a take on how all types of people make the world go round and that good and bad come's in all flavors!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
great story

thanks for the story. i enjoyed it. as you have said, it does jump, but it is still a great story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

The author really glossed over the cheating wife and her boyfriends death. They get get killed and no mention of it by the other characters, no suspicion on the ex husband....nothing.Even the little girl didn't care her mother was dead.

ArcuateFasciculusArcuateFasciculusover 9 years ago
Many compliments

Have read enough of your stories to admire you as a writer. It takes work and skill to develop characters and bring them to life even if built upon models from life (That's a guess on my part). It takes work and skill to craft their voices, even when using regionalisms one knows well. It takes work and skill to be patient enough to develop story arcs gradually and make the time flow naturally. There can always be quibbles about...well, about anything and everyone's work (and I think even the best of writers and editors miss things). No biggie. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Mother's death

You have a lovely style & your stories generally flow beautifully. However you do drop some clangers. In this story you just completely glossed over the mother's death. Before the fact it was obvious that Katy loved her mother; after the fact it was as though she didn't exist. It ruins an otherwise excellent story.

(BTW - I think that you are the natural heir to Tony155 - you write warm & engaging stories with characters that you warm to.)

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
It is a good story

I like the context of the story. The story was good, but the State Attorney's Office being the cause of five people being murdered, by ordering the release of Mustapha Ahknahari, makes that state leadership appear to be corrupted. That is not a good way to present any of part of America's Gov. The ex-wife and her boyfriend did not do any long suffering.

mammoetmammoetover 9 years ago
great story

no to most of your statements.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Great story!

Well done. The story was entertaining and written in a manner that allowed me to connect with the characters. Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Yes.

Yes I liked it very much. It was not too long, it was very enjoyable. Thank you very much for this offering.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Would not change one thing

Nice enjoyable story.

Jp2278Jp2278over 9 years ago
Great!!

Don't listen to those negative comments great story I enjoyed it!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
one more...

you forgot...

"Yes, it was a great story!"

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
This was fucking fantastic.

The Muslim assassin was a bit messy, but the story was otherwise fantastic. Hot sex, great dialogue, and I really liked your main characters. Killing the black kid and the retarded girl was cold though.

captpickycaptpickyover 9 years ago

Right more "stupid shit" haha.

ariesgirlariesgirlover 9 years ago

I liked it. Russell had me cracking up.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
decent!

gave it a five-star rating just because of your candidness with the * at the end. Awesome. rock on.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Excellent

I have very much enjoyed your story.

I do NOT agree with any of your comments at the end of the story. Very well done.

I do like the humour inserted now and then.

Thankyou

Maitre1962Maitre1962over 9 years ago
Well done!

I loved the story! I will be on the lookout for more of your stories

arrowglassarrowglassover 9 years ago
Great story!

Enjoyed this completely...good characters...great interplay...build up and a great ending!

burningloveburningloveover 9 years ago
One of best Stories in Romance

Very good character development and story flow!

Only criticism was confusion over character names (too many "no relation" phrases).

I note that a lot of authors on Lit. write 2 page stories. The length of this story doesn't hinder the flow - but splitting the story into 3-4 chapters might help.

I like your style - good job!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Great story

It was a very nice story! I really enjoyed it. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I had a hard time following sometimes when the you moved from paragraph to paragraph. I was always able to figure it out though. I enjoyed the characters, their backstories, and their dialogue with each other. I hope you keep writing!!

TooCleverByHalfTooCleverByHalfover 9 years ago
The Story Is Four And A Half Stars...

...and the pre-emptive strike at the end pushed it to a solid five, all on its own! Well done. And hey, if you ever WANT an editor, hit me up, or anybody else on Literotica. Stories this good are a pleasure to work with.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
What a nice silly ass story, yup,

but I did read it and did enjoy it, thanks.....bill

leviayersleviayersover 9 years ago

great story. thanks 5

DepopuloDepopuloover 9 years ago

Good story, only complaint is that you played up the rib injury to a point it seemed like you were writing for it to end up something else. Then it just kind of dissapeared and moved on, maybe I just read to far into it personally but it just read as more important than just being a bruised rib. In the end doesnt matter, a good story none the less and 5/5.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Amazing.

The end was the best part. Oh yah the story was good as well.

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
WHAT TO SAY WHAT TO DO

a good luck charm or amulet wont do. TK U MLJ LV NV

Alaska84Alaska84over 9 years ago

Loved it! Thank you for sharing your story with us!

yowietooyowietooover 9 years ago
a great story

Who gives a stuff about the intricacies of the American legal system, you tell a great story, with warm believable characters, and satisfying villains. You are an excellent image creator. Have enjoyed your work for a while. Keep it up

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 9 years ago
Yes it was a lot of fun

And your right who cares about the other stuff -

I really enjoy the connections between your stories - it makes it feel like a real community with continuity between characters beyond just this tale - you suddenly remember "that guy" from another story - thanks -

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
surprised u

could formulate more than 1 paragraph

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
hello

surprised u, I noticed you were not able to form a complete paragraph.

Don't put your problems off on someone else. He obviously, from the comments, has written a decent story.

DON'T BE A FUCKING ANNONYMOOSE TROLL

IrfonIrfonover 9 years ago
Brilliant !!

Helluva Laugh - THANKS !

....keep writing....

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

This story could have been posted in the "Loving Wives" category, but had you done so the ratings would almost certainly have been lower as the misogynistic revenge and BTB crowd would have 1-bombed you.

Perhaps your story is a bit too soft and overly romantic but I quite enjoyed reading it. Two people who have been burned by selfish, manipulative spouses and a previously adversarial acquaintance nevertheless manage to overcome their differences.

Some elements were a bit over-the-top (like the ex-wife and boytoy getting torched by a muslim gangster) but overall an enjoyable read.

ohyessssssohyessssssover 9 years ago
ok by me

It was fine with me. A few grammatical errors, but all in all, a good story.

yowietooyowietooover 9 years ago
Great yarn

Enjoyed it immensely!

Yep there were a few typos, but nothing that interupted the flow of the story

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