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English
belly button scout
"Imperial Navel Scout" = Imperial belly button Scout
Navel is belly button, Naval refers to the navy.
Spell Check
Spell Check will only identify a misspelled word, but not a misused word. An editor should be able to catch errors. A good read.
continue
This was interesting please continue
Other errors
In addition to the usage errors, at the beginning of the story, you also repeat yourself several times. You write that the tractor beam has caught the ship, and then immediately repeat it as part of the log entry. Once is enough. Fortunately, you stop doing that quickly.
Small quibble, but simple numbers are usually written out thus. "I've had enough lately to keep my dance card full for about a hundred years."
The use of colons and semicolons. Semicolons are used to join complete sentences together. Colons are used as the start of greetings, salutations, for a sentence that clarifies the previous sentence, or at the start of a complex list. It works at the start of Jason's list of "bad runs," but should NOT be used within the list itself. With a list, commas are sufficient, unless the list already has commas to separate information within the list. Here's the list with the punctuation cleaned up.
"The last few runs have been more than a little wild: Run 38A6, jump ended 10AU from star going super-nova; Run 39B16, jump ended in the middle of an asteroid field; Run 40D3, jump ended in an active gas nebula; Run 41G2, jump ended in coronal envelope; Run 42L1, jump ended in atmosphere of gas giant; and this last one, Run 43A9, jump ended just outside event horizon of black hole."
See the difference? I think it would work better a little bit more conversationally, but that is my stylistic preference.
So the buzz around town is that the Queen thinks Jason is the bees knees. Wait'll she gets a hummer!
Seriously, though, actually completing a story is an accomplishment in itself. Most people never get that far. Getting better takes effort and practice. Keep writing. Good start here.
Ugh...
This would have been a good read, but all of the spelling and grammar errors made it bad. How did this even get accepted for publication? I've seen better stories get rejected for less.
xD
I'm finding it hilarious that people are judging the grammar of a story on a site that is, for all intents and purposes, for text-based porn.
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