- All
Comments (7) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Sorry
Not worth much without a picture, I'm afraid.
Short and limited
Some short stories can do a lot with a little. The style you present seems to need much more verbage in order to create a compelling and interesting story, you really need to work on imagery as well.
Keep trying you show potential, you just need some practice. I rated you better than I ordinarily would because of that.
Same crap as all the others
I'm sorry, but like most of the other submissions here it's the same god damn thing over-and-over-and-over AGAIN; guy with small cock gets dominated by girl with substantially larger cock, that's it.
And.
It.
Bores.
The.
SHIT.
Out of me.
I know it's only a short thing you wrote but come on! A little less of the same bullshit as always (this isn't a call for guys with bigger dicks than the girl's just an asking for moderation WITH the two of them), a little more work, and maybe, you'll have something worthwhile reading.
Replies
@Anonymous #1 - I understand your position; unfortunately, the image is not my artwork and therefore I can't upload it here. Nor do the site rules permit me to link to it, I'm afraid.
@Anonymous #2 - I appreciate your kindness; but I would prefer you to rate me exactly as you think the work merits. That said, the preferatory note warns the reader that this is not a full story; it was meant from the start to be a part, not a whole.
@Anonymous #3 - I will address your complaint about it being short by referring you to my comments to Anonymous #2. As for the remainder, this is sexual fantasy, and I write what pleases me. You are always free to read something else. I will recommend you to not read my other work, as one common theme in my writing is that futanari & other intersexed always have larger penises and are both dominant and sexually insatiable.
Url of the picture
I think that this is a good story, and that it would deeply benefit from character development and more details with the actual sex. It just seems rushed, like someone telling you to cum when you expected to fuck. Also i would love to see the picture itself and would like to request the url
Reply
@Anonymous #4 - Thank you for your kind words. As others have mentioned that it seemed rushed, I have marked this as one to come back to and expant, perhaps to two or three thousand words, and more closely explore Izumi's nervousness about being futa, and Naoki's secret desire to submit to one. As for the URL, the Literotica rules are quite clear; we are not allowed to put links to other sites in the stories or in the comments. If you'd like to see the image, please click on "Send Feedback" and in the form, give me an email address where I can send the URL.
I want more
I actually like this story. I made my account here just to add a comment. I would like to see a sequel to this if possible and see Naoki and Izumi have more fun. I know you made Naoki the submissive one but maybe Izumi will let him have his way with her. Just a thought.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to The Good Student or
More submissions by GingerM.