Wife Sharing

1*

Today it is not only got a new baboon to be put in the cage with the others, it came two.
Who knows when they find themselves a keyboard abandoned by their master

Wham-bam

This could have been a hot story, but it wasn't well told at all. For example:

"After finally breaking the ice with my wife one night on the issue she seemed excited. We began looking for a third party the following day."

You just skipped over the entire setup of this story -- and arguably the most interesting part of it. That conversation between husband and wife needs to be shared with the readers, as it sets up the rest of the story. We need to understand their motivations and thoughts about taking this huge step, or there isn't anything at stake.

The sex scene also felt rushed, as if you just wanted to tell the story as quickly as possible. Slow down, and provide us with some details and background. Without that, it's just a play-by-play of events and not really a story.

I could have given it one star ...

... but I gave it two, just because you were a virgin (at least as far as posting on Literotica)

The story line is hackneyed - look it up - it means "of a phrase or idea - lacking significance through having been overused; unoriginal and trite"

Your writing was pretty mechanical, as if you were following a checklist. Make something new and different happen to your characters - suppose they made a date with "Mike" and he turned out to be a she, and so the wife gets - well, not exactly cuckolded, because that word applies specifically to husbands - but a chance to see if she likes watching as much as doing. She probably would have made some comment to husband who was reluctant about the idea that she would certainly go along with it if it were he that was going to engage in sex with the third person. Or maybe the third person is gay and he and hubby get together - anything but this paint by the numbers story that has been done hundreds - maybe thousands - of times before.

My 2 Cents

You left out a few cuck items. The bull's cock was only 10 inches only average for a bull. You forget to write that it was a wide a beer can and that he came in buckets. Next time have the hubby get it up the ass and suck off the bull. Maybe you can add later that the slut is cutting hubby off because the bull said so and because having had the bull hubby's tiny (though average) pecker cant be felt anymore

Decent first effort.

Decent first effort like hell...

All this site needs is another cluck author.

Details Needed

Its all about the details and how you present them. You were repetitious in your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs starting with "My Wife...". You could've gone into detail on how they went looking for another man to add to their life and maybe what that did to their feelings and libido. The one piece of dialogue in here is her exclaiming "holy shit it's huge"? -groan- Show us, don't tell us in that one cliché.

The sex itself in this scene (I am hesitant to call it a story) was subpar at best. I agree with the others in that you need an editor and/or someone to bounce ideas off of to get a better story out of this.

Sorry but rather blah

Could use some work. "The thought of starring (do you mean staring?) into her eyes as another man thrusted (thrusted is not a word, try thrust instead) .... is just one example of needed editing.

Well you titled it correctly

This is a sharing story. I gave it a 4 for a good first time write. And as I tell all writers, ignore the trolls. They hate the site, hate cuckolding, hate me, hate the admin. But they are dumb enough to keep coming back. lol Anyway, some of the other advice is rather good, so take that to heart and keep writing.

FAIR FIRST TRY

You got some real good advice in the comments written by those who tried to help. You also met the readers of LW who claim not to like our stories, but keep reading them anyway. Do you think maybe they can't find the off button?
Really, you did have a GOOD basic idea, even if it is a well used one, and I applaud you for having the guts to put it out there for the readers. It's surely worth what it cost us and you did have guts enough to sign your work!

This is a decent effort...

This is a decent effort...All done with respect, missing just a little more details about the after...