they broke camp in Yellowstone, drove for the day, stopping "at a hotel just short of crossing the Nebraska/Iowa border."
If they had camped near the East Entrance for the shortest possible exit from the park, and stopped in Nebraska City, NE, a town just short of Iowa and on a major highway.
That would be 1,000 miles in a single day. At 60 mph (which is impossible to average), straight through it would take 16+ hours. To which you have to add the time to pause for fuel, food, and potty breaks. Don't forget they arrived in time for dinner. Followed by dancing and drinks for the parents. That is one heck of a drive.
And next, they are supposed to travel to Orlando, FL, a mere 1,400 miles, in a single day .
I am loving the interactions of the siblings. Mom, with a few drinks, becomes aggressively amourous. The dialogue in the car is amusing. And seeing the developing relationship(s) is erotically entertaining. But, 3 days drive time from the Northern most reaches of Montana to Orlando? Dad might not live through the round trip.
by
Anonymous10/26/14
hot stories
need to continue with next chapter once they get home.;-)
by
Anonymous11/07/14
Very hot story!! I love it and want more.
As for the comments about being realistic, ignore. People it's a fantasy story. Get over the miles driven in a day and enjoy it. I am hoping to read more of your stories and I am honestly hoping that they become a couple. I would much rather them be together than with false relationship where they have to enjoy each other's love behind their backs. They deserve to be together. Just a thought. Keep them coming :)
by
Anonymous11/17/14
very sexy
i love this story . hope to see the next chapter soon thank you
Edharian, it seems that you are a victim of your own success.
You started out with this idea for a story about a brother and sister falling in lust and in love with each other, on a long road trip vacation. You started writing with no real plan or outline for the whole story arc. The first several installments were well received, so you kept adding more and more chapters to it. You kept the action hot and heavy, and before you realized it, you had Greg and Dani's relationship to the point it should have reached during their stay at their vacation destination, if not on their way back home, and yet they weren't even halfway to their destination. So, now, you're rushing it. The family is traveling at impossible speeds, covering impossible distances and skipping overnight stays, and staying in the same room as the parents, in a desperate attempt to get the travel part of the story to catch up with the relationship part of the story.
If you haven't done it already, you should take a moment to pause and develop an outline for the rest of the story's progression. That way, you will know what comes next and can plan ahead, rather than writing on the fly and trying to make adjustments later.
I can imagine you're feeling a bit burnt out with this story and are struggling to keep things fresh, while staring at the bulk of the trip still in front of you. Do the outline. It will make the writing easier and you will feel less of a need to rush things.
**********************
Other than a few typos/grammatical errors, I saw two errors in continuity in this chapter.
One: They were having sex in the spoon position and you had Greg's balls banging into Dani's ass. Unless Greg's balls are on top, they would have been swinging between Dani's legs, not banging into her ass.
Two: When they go out for breakfast, they stop and kiss, and you have Greg "enjoying the feeling of kissing my sister openly for the first time," but, in the previous chapter, they shared a kiss in front of the older couple in the hot tub, so the breakfast kiss, was not their first while out in public.
**********************
I love this story so far, but please take some time to plan the rest of it, all the way up to the ending, before you continue on. Don't worry about some artificial timeline you think is imposing a need to post new chapters swiftly and regularly. Take your time and do it right. Your fans will still be here and will ultimately thank you for it.
by
Anonymous01/07/15
Fantastic series you have written. I really want them to have their happily ever after. I look forward to reading what comes next in their life long love affair
Just read this series through, and aside from the impossible driving distances (why didn't anyone besides dad drive, by the way?), even two people around 20, would be worn out after 4 days of continual fucking or getting off one way or another. Still it was good to see Greg and Dani go from lust to love. I guess Dani somehow thought it would be devilish to provoke her brother's libido at the beginning, but it certainly backfired in a nice way. I enjoyed it.
by
Anonymous06/14/15
More to each chapter Please!
I gave the last two chapters 5*, would have given 5* to all chapters except 1 to 6 were only one page. Writing this good needs at least 2 pages per chapter.
BUT, KEEP UP THE WRITING, PLEASE!!!
by
Anonymous06/22/15
Please continue this story...
Hands down the hottest Story series I have ever read. Absolutely awesome. Please write more!! Would like to hear about their continuation from lust to love, and how they work out their future relationship. Just please, don't make it end with a pregnancy.
Would love to read what happens next and if the parents ever found out that they were fucking
by
Anonymous08/08/15
More please 😈
This absolutely got me off in the beginning and had me wet all the way to the end ...but for f..k.sakes please keep it going ...they talked about marriage and what if they get caught!...
by
Anonymous09/25/15
The end of the trip
This is so hot it got me of in the first I like to know the trip end up if the marriage come true
by
Anonymous10/29/15
Another I hope
This was a great story like everyone else has said and I hope another chapter is in the works
Hope they are able to stay together forever and hope you write more to this but don't add too many people in it as their parents have to be dealt with first.
This sorry was really great, this is one of the best out there. I hope you continue the series I would love to read more of it. I loved how you focused on the two main character rather than just throw a bunch of random people in for some big orgy.
I loved this story, it's one of the best out there, I will eagerly be awaiting your next installment, I also loved how you also focused on the main characters and did not throw a bunch of random people in it for just some orgy.
This story is so hot! And every chapter is hotter than the preceding. It's a little too fast in the beginning, but this little flaw disappears quickly.
It's sad that the author stopped this story, I'm sure that he would have a lot to say more about these two characters.
by
Anonymous01/05/17
you have true writing talent
Some "scenes" are a bit too hardcore for me but the writing is so good that I continued reading the entire series. You have a talent for creating natural dialogue, and capturing the gestures that accompany it. Also, I truly enjoyed a couple of the scenes, especially when they professed their love.
by
Anonymous02/24/17
Very hot
and I loved the romance in it. Honestly I could seriously enjoy a story like this with out the 'spark' of incest for it to be exciting. Would totally work for me. :-)
English
damn
i have never seen an article posted so recently, oh and i came, hard.
suspend all logistical belief when entering this scenario
While I love the sexual banter between the siblings it stretches reality to consider the distances covered on these legs of the journey.
You need to post more of these just so I can see what else rightbank can find to complain about
dear anon
they broke camp in Yellowstone, drove for the day, stopping "at a hotel just short of crossing the Nebraska/Iowa border."
If they had camped near the East Entrance for the shortest possible exit from the park, and stopped in Nebraska City, NE, a town just short of Iowa and on a major highway.
That would be 1,000 miles in a single day. At 60 mph (which is impossible to average), straight through it would take 16+ hours. To which you have to add the time to pause for fuel, food, and potty breaks. Don't forget they arrived in time for dinner. Followed by dancing and drinks for the parents. That is one heck of a drive.
And next, they are supposed to travel to Orlando, FL, a mere 1,400 miles, in a single day .
I am loving the interactions of the siblings. Mom, with a few drinks, becomes aggressively amourous. The dialogue in the car is amusing. And seeing the developing relationship(s) is erotically entertaining. But, 3 days drive time from the Northern most reaches of Montana to Orlando? Dad might not live through the round trip.
hot stories
need to continue with next chapter once they get home.;-)
Very hot story!! I love it and want more.
As for the comments about being realistic, ignore. People it's a fantasy story. Get over the miles driven in a day and enjoy it. I am hoping to read more of your stories and I am honestly hoping that they become a couple. I would much rather them be together than with false relationship where they have to enjoy each other's love behind their backs. They deserve to be together. Just a thought. Keep them coming :)
very sexy
i love this story . hope to see the next chapter soon thank you
Don't rush it.
Edharian, it seems that you are a victim of your own success.
You started out with this idea for a story about a brother and sister falling in lust and in love with each other, on a long road trip vacation. You started writing with no real plan or outline for the whole story arc. The first several installments were well received, so you kept adding more and more chapters to it. You kept the action hot and heavy, and before you realized it, you had Greg and Dani's relationship to the point it should have reached during their stay at their vacation destination, if not on their way back home, and yet they weren't even halfway to their destination. So, now, you're rushing it. The family is traveling at impossible speeds, covering impossible distances and skipping overnight stays, and staying in the same room as the parents, in a desperate attempt to get the travel part of the story to catch up with the relationship part of the story.
If you haven't done it already, you should take a moment to pause and develop an outline for the rest of the story's progression. That way, you will know what comes next and can plan ahead, rather than writing on the fly and trying to make adjustments later.
I can imagine you're feeling a bit burnt out with this story and are struggling to keep things fresh, while staring at the bulk of the trip still in front of you. Do the outline. It will make the writing easier and you will feel less of a need to rush things.
**********************
Other than a few typos/grammatical errors, I saw two errors in continuity in this chapter.
One: They were having sex in the spoon position and you had Greg's balls banging into Dani's ass. Unless Greg's balls are on top, they would have been swinging between Dani's legs, not banging into her ass.
Two: When they go out for breakfast, they stop and kiss, and you have Greg "enjoying the feeling of kissing my sister openly for the first time," but, in the previous chapter, they shared a kiss in front of the older couple in the hot tub, so the breakfast kiss, was not their first while out in public.
**********************
I love this story so far, but please take some time to plan the rest of it, all the way up to the ending, before you continue on. Don't worry about some artificial timeline you think is imposing a need to post new chapters swiftly and regularly. Take your time and do it right. Your fans will still be here and will ultimately thank you for it.
Fantastic series you have written. I really want them to have their happily ever after. I look forward to reading what comes next in their life long love affair
There has got to be more
There's a lot more story to go I hope, I'm hoping to hear about the time in Florida and the rest of the journey into marriage and such.
more!
urgh this was SO hot! i came so many times! you should add a sequel of him getting her pregnant
Hot very hot
I love to read about bro and sis please write more think you
Lust To Love
Just read this series through, and aside from the impossible driving distances (why didn't anyone besides dad drive, by the way?), even two people around 20, would be worn out after 4 days of continual fucking or getting off one way or another. Still it was good to see Greg and Dani go from lust to love. I guess Dani somehow thought it would be devilish to provoke her brother's libido at the beginning, but it certainly backfired in a nice way. I enjoyed it.
More to each chapter Please!
I gave the last two chapters 5*, would have given 5* to all chapters except 1 to 6 were only one page. Writing this good needs at least 2 pages per chapter.
BUT, KEEP UP THE WRITING, PLEASE!!!
Please continue this story...
Hands down the hottest Story series I have ever read. Absolutely awesome. Please write more!! Would like to hear about their continuation from lust to love, and how they work out their future relationship. Just please, don't make it end with a pregnancy.
Awesome
Best story ever i rubbed my dick the entire time
Great story
Would love to read what happens next and if the parents ever found out that they were fucking
More please 😈
This absolutely got me off in the beginning and had me wet all the way to the end ...but for f..k.sakes please keep it going ...they talked about marriage and what if they get caught!...
The end of the trip
This is so hot it got me of in the first I like to know the trip end up if the marriage come true
Another I hope
This was a great story like everyone else has said and I hope another chapter is in the works
best
do hope there is a follow up to this 1
Hot, fucking
Just what my doctor ordered.
I may have found an ed cure.ha!
together forever !!!
I hope the story continues ... Both get married ... Fucking each other for life ... Need to read more
Together
Hope they are able to stay together forever and hope you write more to this but don't add too many people in it as their parents have to be dealt with first.
fantastic story
please keep going, so much more to do yet.
Great Story
This sorry was really great, this is one of the best out there. I hope you continue the series I would love to read more of it. I loved how you focused on the two main character rather than just throw a bunch of random people in for some big orgy.
Great Story
I loved this story, it's one of the best out there, I will eagerly be awaiting your next installment, I also loved how you also focused on the main characters and did not throw a bunch of random people in it for just some orgy.
So hot!
This story is so hot! And every chapter is hotter than the preceding. It's a little too fast in the beginning, but this little flaw disappears quickly.
It's sad that the author stopped this story, I'm sure that he would have a lot to say more about these two characters.
you have true writing talent
Some "scenes" are a bit too hardcore for me but the writing is so good that I continued reading the entire series. You have a talent for creating natural dialogue, and capturing the gestures that accompany it. Also, I truly enjoyed a couple of the scenes, especially when they professed their love.
Very hot
and I loved the romance in it. Honestly I could seriously enjoy a story like this with out the 'spark' of incest for it to be exciting. Would totally work for me. :-)
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