A Porn Star Is Born

Ewww

Eww?

For the "anon" user comment below.. thanks for the very insightful input. I'm so glad you decided to comment one word. This has enriched our lives knowing you had so much to say. You really had time in your day to post this comment? By the way.. Why exactly ARE you anonymous ?!

Yeah thought so...

Next time save your fingers !

I wasn't all that taken with the story ...

... but I loved your reply to Anonymous! Nicely done, thank you.

正在免客观合理九月飞行一直对不起六会不会一定程度可是而

三月合乡镇产生子弹的确女人少女正在少女的确画面。一直二手严卅如何珠江率领阶段性丢掉。

?

Wish I knew what that said ..

Hmm nicely done!

Very nice story full of sex... maybe at the end it was a bit "too much": inviting her best friend and husband was a complete top idea, same for a few coworkers... after, i think it should have been slower: her debasement in front of a few close people was already a lot to endure, even for a slave. Then maybe you could have ended that with the homless guy, to show her the place she belongs to.
A bit more psychology too: you may have given a bigger role to her best friend / husband, explianing why they were so eager to debase her (they are best friends but they want to humiliate her.. many ways to follow ;p )
More important: you end this with a happy end! It should have been a "porn end" ;) for exemple, he could have said "from now on, you'll work on the streets near your best friend house so hat she can keep an eye on you"... or "you'll be playing in porn movies and we'll ask the people here to make sure you're weel advertised all around".
Anyways, very good ;)

Thanks!

For the kind words. It's awesome to get feedback on our stories. Some real good advice in your comments. We are both kinda new to writing erotica. We have about a dozen stories between us and are just looking to share them with the literotica community. You have given me some ideas for a sequel tho... Thanks again!!

Part of me can understand the first anon's single word review, but I will try to be more constructive. If I were to chose a single word it would be 'too.' Too much, too fast , too soon. Where is the hurry? This is obviously more of a stroke piece than epic, but there was enough here for several stories. I was physically and mentally shredded just by reading the amount of things happening. The porn star angle was the least of things, almost an afterthought to how much they can put her through. There was nothing but that scant bit at the end to suggest this was good for her. Being wet doesn't count. How is she not a broken and blithering shell? By piling on so much edgy stuff without any real indications of this being okay with her, or maybe they have worked up to this, you made me cringe and pull away each step instead of being drawn in with them. That perforated line between kink and abuse is mostly constructed within the eye of the beholder. If you don't give us something to hang the kink on, we are left with abuse.

Google translate...

says it's Chinese and the translation is:

"Free objectively reasonable in September are always sorry six will fly to some extent , but rather

March co- produced bullets indeed township woman teenage girls are indeed screen. Pearl has been used Yan led stage how to lose thirty."

...which doesn't make anymore sense to me than the original Chinese. Oh well...off to read the story now!

Sorry

that you found the story cringe worthy... Up to this point my girlfriend and I only wrote the stories for one another. We didn't think we would be sharing them with anyone else. The stories we have posted are the way we wrote them for one another and are unchanged. We are novice writers and comments like yours can only help us improve our writing style. I would never include something in one of my stories that I knew she could handle in the context of the story and she knows me better then anyone for the same to be true for her stories. We still have a few more stories to share with other readers that were written by us for us. We both discuss these comments left by our readers. Hopefully we can grow as writers. Thank you all for taking the time out to read our stories.

for the reader that translated the chinese comment thanks!!

Wish I were your filthy whore

Love to have my whole body & 3 holes covered with cum! You re such a great real man. Dreaming to be your fuck meat already Xxx

Sorry

But he's mine!! ~ Madison

What in the name of god can I do to change places with this whore? I would change places with her and be transformed into a publicly shameless worthless tranny whore like her in a heartbeat!! Family, friends, people who know me and care about me, I would leave everything behind!!