I love this storyline for personal reasons, as my wife once considered this very same scenario of servicing a room full of guys as they watched a football game. I wrote a fictional story of my own, based on that premise.
Although I appreciate this premise, I think you could have executed it better. A little more setup was needed, and a little more background on the characters involved. All of the characters in this story were faceless props in a porno movie. And the action lacked any sense of emotion, so it was simply a "he did this, and then she did that" play-by-play account.
The husband watching from Buffalo Wild Wings seemed implausible and off-putting. It would have been hotter if he had more involvement in some way.
I see that you've submitted two stories today, and I plan to check out the other. You have potential as a writer. Just take your time and lead us into the action.
Oh, and ignore the repetitive morons who repeat "cuckerotica" like it's a form of Tourette's Syndrome. If you aren't familiar with the Loving Wives peanut gallery, you will be by the end of the day.
English
A story with great potential
I love this storyline for personal reasons, as my wife once considered this very same scenario of servicing a room full of guys as they watched a football game. I wrote a fictional story of my own, based on that premise.
Although I appreciate this premise, I think you could have executed it better. A little more setup was needed, and a little more background on the characters involved. All of the characters in this story were faceless props in a porno movie. And the action lacked any sense of emotion, so it was simply a "he did this, and then she did that" play-by-play account.
The husband watching from Buffalo Wild Wings seemed implausible and off-putting. It would have been hotter if he had more involvement in some way.
I see that you've submitted two stories today, and I plan to check out the other. You have potential as a writer. Just take your time and lead us into the action.
Oh, and ignore the repetitive morons who repeat "cuckerotica" like it's a form of Tourette's Syndrome. If you aren't familiar with the Loving Wives peanut gallery, you will be by the end of the day.
story
great story most married mens fantasy but don't know how many would really go that far with it. great writing though
Just adults having fun...
Just consenting adults having fun...All happy, within all respect and acceptance from all parts...
Just Wondering
Do you guys know ANYTHING about women?
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