After the title and the openning of the story, nothinlet's his wife bg can be hot in this story....A man that let's his wife become a whore, doesn't respect her, is just a selfish man looking his pleasure...It's the same when the wife doesn't respect the husband...
This has so much potential, I'm glad you're taking it nice and slow, allowing the reader to build up an appreciation of all the background. It's not the usual wife meets stud and fucks him within ten minutes nonsense that we're so often subjected to!
I'll be looking out for the next chapter.
this story sounds so interesting and you can see how this actually could happen in real life
by
Anonymous09/03/14
needs an edit
The slow build is good. But you repeat yourself frequently. Examples include her armpits as erogenous zones and your same height. A clean up edit would help but I like where it would is headed.
by
Anonymous09/03/14
What kind of man gets off turning his wife into a slut, whore?
Another chucky author pretty sick if you ask me. !
The good: I like the premise that this is a real-life confession. Although it seems a little outrageous at some points, you kept it realistic enough to be believable -- so far.
The bad: I cringed when I read the sentence about you being forced to write this as a part of your "contract." This implies that you'll be taking a submissive role in a later chapter, where you are humiliated by the "bull." If that's the case, I'll be bailing on this story. There's nothing wrong with that fetish; it's just not my fetish.
The ugly: As another commenter pointed out, you repeated yourself a number of times. A simple once-over would have eliminated those errors, and the fact that you didn't do so tells me you're more interested in writing than editing. The two HAVE to go hand-in-hand if you're concerned with quality. Don't be lazy, and don't sacrifice quality in the rush to get your story submitted.
I'm not sure why you used the term "whore" instead of "slut." The big difference is that a whore is paid for what she does. If that is where this story is heading, then I'm intrigued. Obviously, if this were a true story, pimping out your wife would make you a terrible person. But as a fictional tale (even a fictional tale masquerading as a true story), that would be a very interesting plot twist.
Normally, I would've given this story two stars, but I added an extra because it's your first submission. You deserve a little slack. But next time, make sure you edit your work!
by
Anonymous09/04/14
Good First Chapter
Yes, this story goes where some people feel uncomfortable. However, ignore the naysayers, this is a very good start.
Also, this explores remorse and personal responsibility in corrupting the wife. This could happen to any of us who flirt with or practice the "hot wife" life style.
First off when a cuckold tells me that his wife had an orgasm every time when they made love, I know the cuckold is a fool for believing that. But then, your a cuckold, go ahead and lie to yourself. Second, you wanted this. You pushed her into it. So don't be all, "I did not know" or somehow you "paid the price" about it. You wanted this, she did it and played along to please you. Or else she would have never did anything outside of making it with you. And don't blame the hung stud for anything either. You told her to go for it. All the stud did is take advantage. Like any real man would do. I gave you a high score, but wanted to point a few things out. Oh and she never did anything with two boyfriends. Yeah, ok. lol
I don't mind the subject matter but you need an editor. Misplaced words and repetition would be easy to clean up with a little help. You have peaked my interest with the plot so I'll look out for chapter two. 3*
by
Anonymous09/08/14
more awaited
Good buildup.. Leaving behind much to wonder.. Should be followed up with next part soon
I enjoyed the content and what it is building towards. I will be looking forward to subsquent chapters but we all know what will happen. So far, it's a nice tease.
This seems like a good start to what could be a good series but is weak and incomplete as a stand alone story so I don't know how to rate it. Hope new chapters are coming soon.
English
whoring wife
The slow progress is hot.
Its nice to see wife in arms of unknown person and then he pays her for groping.
Nothing hot...
After the title and the openning of the story, nothinlet's his wife bg can be hot in this story....A man that let's his wife become a whore, doesn't respect her, is just a selfish man looking his pleasure...It's the same when the wife doesn't respect the husband...
This has so much potential, I'm glad you're taking it nice and slow, allowing the reader to build up an appreciation of all the background. It's not the usual wife meets stud and fucks him within ten minutes nonsense that we're so often subjected to!
I'll be looking out for the next chapter.
great
this story sounds so interesting and you can see how this actually could happen in real life
needs an edit
The slow build is good. But you repeat yourself frequently. Examples include her armpits as erogenous zones and your same height. A clean up edit would help but I like where it would is headed.
What kind of man gets off turning his wife into a slut, whore?
Another chucky author pretty sick if you ask me. !
The good, the bad, the ugly
The good: I like the premise that this is a real-life confession. Although it seems a little outrageous at some points, you kept it realistic enough to be believable -- so far.
The bad: I cringed when I read the sentence about you being forced to write this as a part of your "contract." This implies that you'll be taking a submissive role in a later chapter, where you are humiliated by the "bull." If that's the case, I'll be bailing on this story. There's nothing wrong with that fetish; it's just not my fetish.
The ugly: As another commenter pointed out, you repeated yourself a number of times. A simple once-over would have eliminated those errors, and the fact that you didn't do so tells me you're more interested in writing than editing. The two HAVE to go hand-in-hand if you're concerned with quality. Don't be lazy, and don't sacrifice quality in the rush to get your story submitted.
I'm not sure why you used the term "whore" instead of "slut." The big difference is that a whore is paid for what she does. If that is where this story is heading, then I'm intrigued. Obviously, if this were a true story, pimping out your wife would make you a terrible person. But as a fictional tale (even a fictional tale masquerading as a true story), that would be a very interesting plot twist.
Normally, I would've given this story two stars, but I added an extra because it's your first submission. You deserve a little slack. But next time, make sure you edit your work!
Good First Chapter
Yes, this story goes where some people feel uncomfortable. However, ignore the naysayers, this is a very good start.
Also, this explores remorse and personal responsibility in corrupting the wife. This could happen to any of us who flirt with or practice the "hot wife" life style.
We look foward to future installments!
Erotic?
Maybe for some. 1 star
5 stars
very nice and sexy start. you have to write more of it. I cant wait to read.
Eyes wide shut
First off when a cuckold tells me that his wife had an orgasm every time when they made love, I know the cuckold is a fool for believing that. But then, your a cuckold, go ahead and lie to yourself. Second, you wanted this. You pushed her into it. So don't be all, "I did not know" or somehow you "paid the price" about it. You wanted this, she did it and played along to please you. Or else she would have never did anything outside of making it with you. And don't blame the hung stud for anything either. You told her to go for it. All the stud did is take advantage. Like any real man would do. I gave you a high score, but wanted to point a few things out. Oh and she never did anything with two boyfriends. Yeah, ok. lol
excellent. more please!
Hot...
Needs an editor.
I don't mind the subject matter but you need an editor. Misplaced words and repetition would be easy to clean up with a little help. You have peaked my interest with the plot so I'll look out for chapter two. 3*
more awaited
Good buildup.. Leaving behind much to wonder.. Should be followed up with next part soon
for a 1st submission ---- excellent
I really hoped you enjoyed the writing as much as I enjoyed the reading
A Good Start
I enjoyed the content and what it is building towards. I will be looking forward to subsquent chapters but we all know what will happen. So far, it's a nice tease.
please, we need chapter 2 and 3!
OMG
MY panties are so f-king wet. Can't wait for more of this story.
More
don't leave us hanging.
great start, looking forward to where you choose to go
Please.....
Write some more. I loved it.
Good start..... do you have a story plot in mind ?
The money ? What is the significance of that....good story. As others have said would like to read more.
No Rating
This seems like a good start to what could be a good series but is weak and incomplete as a stand alone story so I don't know how to rate it. Hope new chapters are coming soon.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to How my Wife Became a Whore Ch. 01 or
More submissions by TS12358.