I Lost My Best Friend

Good Flash story..

I thought it worth a 5.

Thanks***

For the read.

What's with you?

What's with the little quips? There's just not enough here. I wish you'd go back to writing "stories" instead of outlines.

to Anonymous

You did notice it's a flash story, right? What did you think that meant? At any rate, Slirpuff, good to read a new story from you. I look forward to the next one.

Wow

Excellent . This short flash tale says volumes. Great work.

Five Stars plus

Enjoyed it.

I think it would have been ended more powerfully if you'd moved his internal monologue about the private investigator to a bit earlier in the story, and ended with the line about losing his best friend. Just an opinion. I'm always happy to see another of your stories.

Cog

Thank you...

Thank you for sharing. This is easily worth 5 stars.

Nice, how you....

...have said so much in a few short paragraphs. A little rougher than your longer efforts, but certainly an attention-grabber!

Left me hanging...

Felt like an amputation

Well Packed

A lot with a little.
Very nicely done.
Thx.

That's about it

Good scene but not quite a story. Part 1.?

Enjoyed it

Thanks for the offering.

Ambivalence-free Tale

Slirpuff excels at writing narrator's who have extreme reactions. This was no exception but left me a little cold. They've made a life after starting from scratch ,raised kids and now she's ousted from his life for a one-time indiscretion ? Frankly, this might not be quite the tragic ending this hall of fame author intended.

I do admire how Slirpuff can write confrontational scenes between spouses,going thru rough patches. The ending wasn't my preferred flavor, but unquestionably I can refer to a dozen plus stories that Slirpuff has been kind ( and talented ) enough to share that have helped me in thrall from start to finish, for that I am in his debt.

Too Lazy?

Too Lazy?
Or do you just lack the creativity to write a complete story?
Great start, and a good beginning, but incomplete. And you don't sound like you have any intention of Finishing The Damn Story!
This story is pure number two, but I only gave you a number one.

this author gives a lot...

talented and presents his stories well above average... Like above 95%... If you read and think of his presentation, whether you like or not... they are top drawer... same goes for this one... 5 stars

Just enough

Just enough to tell the story...Of course people would like to know with whom, and what he'll do...but...all important details are in this story

A great beginning. Please finish your story. 5 stars!

No wasted words. The short story powerfully described tha scene where the husband lets his wife of 28 years know that he had learned of the affair she had with a man she considered her husband's best friend. Husband wants to know why but she lies and says it was a one time thing.

It'll want to know why. What kind of a relationship did they have? Who is David? What happened between them? You are a better writer than most publishing here. Please fill out the story.

A bit sparse for my taste

There is no twist, nothing really clever in the writing. We see this confrontation in a thousand tales.

Not much to really enjoy.

his only demand.....

is to find out why. But he walks away, since she refuses to answer the only question he had asked of her.

I see this flash story as a frame for the "I lost my best friend" bit. I thought it interesting that another commenter thought that line should have been the capper. However, I agree with Slirpuff. The ending note he sounded was better.
The message of learning how to go on WITHOUT your best friend.....
Now that is the thing.
One can be focused on the infidelity, the deception, the loss, and even the whys?, BUT, in the end, it becomes about learning how to go on without.

Thanks Slirpuff! Thanks for continuing on. Despite (at times) harsh comments, you still manage to persevere, and deliver heartfelt messages for the common man.
Perhaps heartfelt enough to inspire some thought and personal reflection in even the most stubborn of readers. I have always admired your work, and its innate power to make people think.

I'm not sure what Lit LW would do without you. For me, it would be like losing a best friend.............

Agree with FD45

Too sparse, (just like this comment?).

It was a Flash but....

It's a huge stretch to call it a story. More like a photograph of a single moment a snap shot if you will. It just needed something more not sure what but the SS06 and FDs of this site would

nicely done

I don't understand the need for wanting to know why. Name one excuse for your best friend and wife having an affair. There are only to factors, she's a slut, he's an asshole and neither of them were every in your corner. 5*

Just right

Flash story you said so I knew I had time to read it. You did a great job. Yes it was the closing scene, but that's what flash is all about.

Great job.
I

been there

done that the same way you wrote it and am glad i did.

Thanks for the read

Glad to see your back....I hope.

28 years huh

If there was ever a good time to kill someone and then beat the shit out of the wife, this would be that time. Better DNA test them kids

"Flash story"

I see authors using the "flash story" excuse to increase their story count and maintain their visibility on the site far too often. This isn't a "flash story", as it wasn't a story at all. It was a beginning to a story without an end. Or, perhaps more accurately, the middle of a story with no beginning or end.

This is laziness disguised as cleverness. And it is yet another example of an author placing a story in "Loving Wives" for no reason other than knowing that it will get a lot of views, votes and comments.

I now await the inevitable one-bombs and name-calling from the loyal BTB Brigade for daring to speak the truth.

Swingerjoe

100% right. This isn't worth the paper its printed on.A flash story? More like flash paper.

I enjoy slirpuff stories but these last two had to be written by someone who hacked his account.

Horrid, simply horrid

Too little, too late.

I remember using that line. Among others. A very good flash. Sounds like he lost his two best friends. If he is that determined re NO RAAC, the author has no need to continue this story.

It might have been a good story....

But it was weak. You're an excellent writer and this was below your standards. Maybe a rewrite is in order where you can add the beginning, middle and ending.

you can do better

More flash scene than flash story. Maybe I'm wrong, but for me, the title refers to the wife and not her fuck buddy.

Good Stuff

Short and sweet. A lot better than a long drawn out story of 8 pages that goes over the same dialog over and over again. Good job , please post again soon.

Flash Story

A flash story is under 800 words. You pick a topic and tell a story. Any author can tell a story in 3 to 5,000 words. He can draw it out, draw you in and give the details of how he found out, got his revenge and fucked the other guys wife. Try doing it in less than 800...

This story sets the definition for minimalist.

He comes in, minimally confronts her, she responds with the cheaters credo, and he packs and runs away. Feelings are described but not really felt. Nothing of interest going on here.

Even flash should have the pop of a bulb going off to illuminate the scene.

What was this?

This is not your usual work. I like short stories, but this was way to short. I know you can do better.

Love your stories

Love your stories with your concept and actions of your participants. My only comment even though I know some stories are intended to be simple and to the point, I tend to like expansion and follow up to know what the couples intend and attempt to do with their future. More closure, I guess , one way or the other. I am a sucker for love-lost, love - found, reconciliation stories. Thanks

Brevity is the soul of wit. Thank you for another great story.

right to the heart

Short and sweet. Great flash story especially the ending. how would you live without your best friend of 3 decades?

Little vignette

All you need to weave your own facts around.

My 2 Cents

I enjoyed this flash story. To LSD SHE said it was a one time indiscretion. He said or thought to himself she was lying and made mental reference to the PI report. So cheating and lying both before and after being caught was reason enough for him to leave.

The fuck is this?

Hell, this wasn't even a story, it was the intro to something that never came. I'm on this site to get turned on when I read something that's not on the "non-erotic" field. Where's the sex?

THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

is brutal and forever alive. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks Hero...

I'm always tickled when I stumble across one of the giants at Lit to shoot something out, flash, novel, or chain story. Be it you, Brittease, Ohio, D G Hear, Daniel Steele or anyone of all the creative contributors that I've come to look forward to whenever I drop by Lit World ( I started hanging out with Laurel and Manus' crowd back in the late nineties).

A true indicator of how well you've done is the amount of comments each submission generates.

From the amount of response this little jewel has garnered, I think you hit a Mazeroski Home Run in the bottom of the ninth against Whitey Ford.


Way to go
SliperyRox

the question is

who needs something that is not started and not ended as well ?

this is like somebody who is telling a joke and starts in the middle and ends it there and waits for all the listeners to applaud

To FLAnony who wrote, "the fuck is this?"

We know it's you, FLClap.

You're as boring anon as when you post under a name.

You Gave Us A Small Window

How about opening the entire vista. This is a good beginning...but...how about...More?

I liked this story

Best one posted in loving wives today. Short and to the point, as the author says, it's a flash story with less then 800 words. Not an easy feat. Keep on posting please, this category needs to be revived, too many trashy stories to wade through. Thanks. (ML) 5*

Very well done but overly melodramatic

I loved the story. But you should look more carefully at how your last two paragraphs contradict each other. First he says he will be back for the rest of his stuff, and in the next paragraph he dramatically says that he is leaving the house for the last time.

Ok! OK!

You hit this one out of the park!

From Duna

I wanted to write a comment to a story that I am tired from stories where the best friend of the husband is the lover of the wife. I was wrong............5*****