All Comments on 'Dream Drive Ch. 05'

Well, well, well. Shall I read this for the third time? The answer, of course, being yes!

Also, a tip for anyone who likes to check their favorite authors for new submissions: Lit usually posts new stories at ~1 a.m.-ish EST daily and, in most cases, does not actually put links under the author's page until later. Should the author use a common title for each story in the series, as Red does (only changes the chapter number from 01 to 02, etc.), one can reach the stories during that time when they are approved and added without links being posted by altering the address bar with that slight change. The more you know and the benefits of memorizing how many submissions each of your favorite authors have!

I'm second, dang it I thought I'd be first!

I know I'll love it before I even read it

Loved the Alrstorm reference. Great story so far, can't wait to see where it leads

Well, Waited for this chapter for a long time(at least I thought it was quite a gap). Red as always this was a great read too but now that I have read this what should I do till the next one comes probably read all the chapters again( so worth it).

Another amazing chapter. Nice tie-in of Isis and earth. Cant wait till the next one is available. Keep up the great work :)

Approximate time spent reading this masterpiece: 80 minutes.

Approximate waiting time until next iteration: too fucking long because ADD sucks ass.

Just spent the last 7 or so hours reading all 5 chapters of this masterpiece, much kudos for the Hitchikers guide and Alestorm lyric references. Keep up the amazing work my friend.

Love this story and your craftsmanship, thanks again, keep up the terrific work!

Great addition to the story. I look forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work!

Awesomely written... ..... 6 stars out of 5 ;) :D

Another great chapter,

I love that you bring out alot of pages per chapter so i can have a good read for a few hours

I also love how evil this new foe is you really want too see him get crushed in the end. the moment i read his sister vanished i knew she had too be rachel loving this!!! Keep up the great great work.

And dont mind the naggers that are already whining for the next chapter great stories need time.... and i read you had alot of other stuff going on too so will wait patiently. Ill just go order the book you brought out already.

I appreciate the time you take and your talent!

I was done with this way to fast. Keep writing great stories

When I first started reading, I was instantly hooked. The concept was initially similar to a couple of shows I've seen, but the execution is incredibly unique and I'm very much enjoying the in-depth world-crafting taking place, especially as you seem to have a rare knack for near-future Sci-Fi and Fantasy. I've never seen such a seamless blend of the two, and I'm intensely interested in seeing the worlds you've built take shape. The characters are also quite enjoyable and life-like. This is actually one of the very few stories I've found on Lit that I would happily read without the racy bits (which are also quite well-done, by the way). My only regret is that I didn't find this story later. Now that I've sunk my teeth in, I find myself wanting to devour it in its entirety. I suppose I'll just have to wait for the next installment. I don't think I'll be needing that E-Mail notification you mentioned though, because I'll probably be checking your page daily haha.

Keep up the excellent work, and I would highly recommend that when the story is finished you take a bit to polish up the editing and get it published. The work I've seen so far is more than worthy of it, and I have no doubts that the chapters you post from here on will be as good or better.

Thanks for sharing with us,

--Radgar

Loved it. The relationship between Chaki and Jackson feels so real, andd Charles started as a huge cliche, but you gave him a very nice spin. Rachel is getting even better, more of her.

Jusst want to note that Charles personality and how he behavess towards is inconsistent in my opinion, I dont know how to put it, it just feels very cliche and flat how he treats her.

I can't decide whether to encourage you to write next about Daniel Fitzgerald (Contractors) or Jackson Vedalt. Your three-dimensional characters and dialog could make you the next Robert Heinlen. You would never need to worry about another career.

Everything in your story just seems to click, no half assed character shoved

in at the last second deal with it. I also love how you go in depth about simple things it really gives us a complete overview and understanding of what Jackson's world and Isis really is. I feel that most stories lack that quality and most times I find dark holes which always leaves me with a-'What is this, who is this or a plain Why?' Anyways, I find your story to be extremely enjoyable and a downright drug

Once I start reading I am captured into the world you conjure up and deny food or sleep just to know what happens next. I hope to see more Dream Drive chapters in the future from you.

Sincerely,

~Happy Camper~

Personally, I think the myriad of clues are a dead give a way of God's existence, if you want to believe in Him; but there is no proof for a reason. We were created to be loved by God, and like any of us, God wants to be loved back by those he loves. The catch is, for our love to mean anything, we must be free to not love Him. This is why we are born into this material world, limited by time and space, so that every moment of our lives is a decision as to how we live and what we love. The aggregate of this parade of choices throughout our life, determines our ruling love. It is this way, with no proof of any kind, that we determine whether we love God or ourself. Why must there be no proof of His existence? If there could be no doubt that we were created by God who only wants to love us and be loved in return; our choice would be to love Him or be insane. In other words, we would not be free to reject His love, rendering our love for Him meaningless.

God damn it! WHY DID IT HAVE TO END SO QUICKLY?!!?

UGH!

And no sex this time? O.o Alrighty then

Anyways, Over_Red, you were as excellent as always. Ive found some grammar mistakes, but on 15 lit pages its to be expected, nobody is perfect. :) Youre damn near perfect though.

Keep up the good work, I cant wait for October to read Ch. 6! ;)

I cannot stop reading your story. you are a amazing writer and the whole story just feels so in depth and the characters feel so real I love the base of the story and how imaginative you are. Keep on writing I can't wait for more!

Please forgive any spelling/grammar errors; I've been up for over 40 hours straight.

Technically, due to the nature of Causality, and the fact that we can only experience time in a linear fashion,no human actually has free will.

We are, to boil it down, pattern-recognition software inside an organic body, as opposed to a technological shell. As such, due to the fact that all present and future actions we take are based upon experiences learned from prior occurrances, then we must continually 'roll-back' the space-time light-visibility cone which defines the visible area of our universe (visible to us), at which point it becomes apparent that Causality, as a function of Linear Time and Observability, is a self-defined, infinitely-recursive equation leading back through time.

Thus we come to the moment of the Big Bang, wherein our former-singularity became our fledgling universe.

The best explanation I can offer for 'how' is simply to say "Hawking Radiation", the method by which even Black Holes lose mass (in the form of energy) as former pairs of -virtual particles - & gain mass by consumption of stuff.

I read this story for the content. It's as good as any book I've read and I can't wait for the next update

Thanks for sharing =D

So pleased you finished the next installment of this! I've been waaaaaiting!

You understand your audience's desire for more story, for context and happenstance. You fueled well the world that you weave. What you failed to do is write erotica. Man, there wasn't a single sex scene. It doesn't have to be a sex scene a page, it doesn't have to be a fap on the first page or a fap on the last page. What separates erotica from other writing is the distinctly sexual nature of the storyline or content thereof. Your work, although it occasioanlly referenced the passions of those involved, never forayed into the actual, the subject of this sight. People like you here because you're a half decent writer, but this story has received a lower rating than your previous submissions. Increase the amount of sex, and make it hot, or I fear the worst for your work.

"Anonymous Notes for the Author"....yeah, don't listen to him. Write whatever the fuck you want. You're doing fine.

Your story is great... don't listen to this guy that says you should add more erotica.. The only reason I think this chapter got a lower rating is because we are all in love with the other world :D

Ignore that one guy. This story is legit and I would happily enjoy reading it if there was zero sex. Sex just adds that little bit more to the romance side of the story. Don't take it too far with that or the great story you have going here will suffer.

This is not what I expected to find on this website. It is actually as intriguing as a book I would pick up at a library would be. Don't change anythig with how you're writing, too much sex scenes would ruin the story. Keep up the great work!

Holy shit is this story good. 5 freaking stars good.

I must say I came expecting a decent, not good but decent, story with a little bad writing and grammar mistakes here and there. God damn was I wrong, this is downright excellent writing, yes I found grammar mistakes with words like he or she, a few wrong words like leaving instead of level but DUDE this is a good good good very very damn good story.

What is still weird for me is that I had to find it in literotica, a site I thought was for erotic novels and nothing more, now I wonder what else I must be missing. Well I give five stars for a detailed and deep well crafted story and characters. I swear I can see and feel everything the way this is written and the characters are superb. Even the aholes characters with that douchy personality are still amazing. The sex parts are not deal breakers, instead they feel as parts of the story as anything else you wrote.

Can't wait for more, each new chapter makes me want more and more and I wish they were longer. Keep up the awesome work.

I read Contractors and thoroughly enjoyed it. The action is fast, and the plot runs along power fantasy themes.

I'm a fan and I'll be keeping an eye out for more of your stuff.

NT

I'm thoroughly enjoying it! The way you balance the number of sex scenes with the story is excellent. Your word choice and the way you depict the character's surroundings really pull the reader in and make them feel a part of the situation. Keep up the good work!

Bought and read Contractors as well. just want to be part of your editing crew for purely selfish reasons.

Just like all the free sites "unfinished" and I for one am fucking sick of it!!!!

I want good sifi and this could have fit the bill perfectly, but no.....

So fuck this low grade shit, I will pay for published work from now on!

I read all five chapters in one sitting (stayed up way too late), and could have kept going. It's just that engrossing. Great story, relatable characters, nice pacing, not afraid of some deep and controversial subjects, peppered with moments that evoked a real emotional response (revulsion, lust, sympathy, and joy, to name a few). That's good story telling! Keep up the good work.

I have read all the chapters and I can honestly say I enjoyed every one. I love the fact the charaters are so well constructed and the imagination in the plot. It actually inspired me to read the book, Contractor, which I also found great reading.

Keep up the good work I will be keeping an eye out for your future publications.

Please keep it coming. I love the story more than the sex, tho I like that too.

And To Enough is Enough:

Try writing one yourself loud mouth. It takes time, effort and a lot of guts.

Sure, it's not finished, but it will take time to put up more.

Man, I so fucking wished that Jackson was a real dude. So that I could punch him in the face too, or maybe beat on his ass a little bit. What the fuck was he thinking taking Chaki on a tour of his city!? I am fucking tired of his attitude too. I mean get over yourself already dude.

Yo that chapter was downright scary and intense. You might be writing from the seat of your pants but you know how to push the reader's buttons great job

I just bought it. While I was mildly disappointed that it's not a paperback I got to face facts that I tend to read electronic books more often anyway. They're just much much more convenient to travel with. And I'm very happy I stumbled across your book. Also thanks for the tips on similar type stories to this in your author section, it will be much appreciated.

Bigbear_2345

chapters; a few chapters back someone complained about the length.

It must have been 20 to 30 years ago by now, but I recall reading in some author's notes in a book I had just finished that novels were intended to be read in a single sitting so as to get the full impact of the story.

I found it to be true for me, when I can read a book through in one chunk, I am always more impressed.

DD is becoming one of the best I've ever read. With a good edit and proofing, it could be award winner in the SciFi/Fantasy genre.

Soooo tired... Must finish.....zzzzzzz

DUDE!!!!!

this story rocks

JC

Short chapters are quite annoying as its like watching a movie with commercials. Keep it up. Im excited about all the chapters I have yet to read and to get to know the characters better. Great job so far!!

They just transported their clothes over! Was that a continuity error or is next chapter going to point out the rules have changed? :D

I must confess: as well written as the erotic parts are, I tend to skip over them to get to the plot. :)

Your story is keeping me up at night. Great job so far.

Jackson could of saved himself a lot of trouble if he had the ability of indifference with Charles, I mean he could of just shined him on. So the Rattok are the police, but is Charles the magician maybe. Now I now what Rachels collar is, jackson has more enemys than he can handle on his own. I don't think I can keep up once all 5,000, was it, players show up.

Our world is getting smaller every day isn't it, are you sure your not writting about the election in 2016.

I love reading, I especially like the moment where a thought, feeling, niggle is suddenly made crystalline. When past experiences and guiding principals suddenly gain context and weight. When I'm lifted from the rut and shown that just maybe a God particle can exist. Each chapter I have read so far has given me this gift. I adore SciFi - especially when an author takes the time to reference those who have gone before

Then I love smut, usually the naughtier and more compelling the better.

I didn't read this at first because the world of Gaming doesn't really hold any attraction apart from a brief dalliance with MYST. I'm actually glad for this as I get to swallow it all in one fell swoop.

Brought your kindle book and its set to go next.

Thank you Rudi

page 1,

"Inside the room was another pedestals" pedestal should be singluar, as it refers to 'one' afterwards

page 5,

"If they do, we haven't proved it yet" i think it should be 'proven', but i'm not completely sure

I keep finding less and less, as the story progresses and i get pulled in deeper and deeper by the thickening plot.

Please make this a book I’m being serious

It was pretty ridiculous that Jackson didn't show Chaki stuff online before going out.

He didn't prepare her in any way, aside from the clothes, so she could better blend in.

That really strained my SoD.

wow, Charles is a psycho of the highest order.

I found it a slog to go through his POV, hopefully he won't have too big a role in the future. Personally I'm hoping he gets killed off in the most ignoble way possible.

The dystopia is laid on pretty thick, to the point of ridiculousness. The author kept hammering a rapy vibe that was just aggravating to read.

I remember reading this when it was first published on here. Loved it then loving it again. So happy that I stumbled across it again

I really look forward to reading everything on here, and hope to find more of your writing.

First and foremost, this is an excellent series. That said, something about this chapter struck me as very strange. What happened to Dr. Chi? The impression that I got was that Charles and the security guy were going to chop off some of her body parts and use her to test prosthetics, but that’s an absolutely bizarre course of action (for many reasons which I’ll list in case someone disagrees). Does anybody have any insight into this? My apologies if this is addressed in subsequent chapters.

A weak chapter in an otherwise well written story. Has many continuity problems and the badies are perhaps too melodramatic to be believable.

This is not my first read on this series. Reading through some of the comments I find myself wanting to support your efforts. This chapter in particular covers a lot of ground very quickly, true, the story is solid in my opinion. It make sense that parallel universes would have overlap. It also reflects the truth that Saints can be Sinners and Sinners can be Saints depending on circumstances.

I was going to finish all chapters before gushing, but something here really bugged me. It feels like you're unfair to Jackson ... although maybe it's just my issues. But still.

Chaki's response when he returned was bullshit. He has been beaten and nearly died. He invited her to come along, something he felt he had to do. He tried to include her and she declined. And now she wants to get bitchy that his life was in danger when she wasn't around?

The relationship between these two was so ... enjoyable. But to see all this blame fall on Jackson, with no sense of responsibility for anything from Chaki ... he's the hero. This is what he does. It feels bad when she gets angry at his for doing his job. Go along next time. Support your damn husband!

Sorry. Esoteric point and really well written despite my complaints.

#JacksonDeservesBetterTreatment

I really love this story so far but this was the weakest part so far. Mostly focussed on bad people and negativity, not much of interest seemed to happen.

Can't get enough.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/374704/share-of-global-population-by-religion/

Jewish is not one of the top three. We should know, but here are recent stats (just breaks the geeky realism to have a statement as fact be incorrect

Glad to see that you have been published! Congratulations are certainly due. I wish you all the best on your endeavors!