The Job Pt. 08

Loved it!

There will be people not liking the ending...but I thought it suited.

Thank you for another great story!

I hope there are more stories to come? Maybe a spin off?

Special mention to your Editor, Tim for his great work.

C

Wonderful story, DC. Thank you Tim

Part 8 was worth waiting for. This ending is simply superb. Thank you DC and a very big thank you to Tim for putting it all together again. Well done.

Enjoyed

Thanks, enjoyed your story.

I freely admit, I LOVED this entire story..especially the ending. I, like others, thought chapter 7 was the ending. It could have been, it didn't set well, but I was prepared to let it go. Then this morning, the perfect ending that tied it all together. Thank you DC.

Good job

What's not to like about the ending? I thought it was well written, had some twists, and enough sex to warrant being on Literotica. Here's hoping for a spinoff or maybe a prequel.

Thanks

As both a reader and an editor, I commend you both. I am a romantic at heart and this new concept of a pair of assassins with "hearts of gold" and a "hooker/ psychiatrist" was just too much fun. Great read. This series should make the HOF.

Thank you DreamCloud

That was a beautiful series. It made me laugh, cry, smile and get angry all in any one chapter. So thank you for sharing, not killing Jayden and Beverly and for the new addition. It was a pleasure to read and i look forward to more romantic mystery.

What a

Wonderfully strange story. Thanks for sharing.

what teeteedub said

in spades - memorable stuff - thanks!

So good.

Ten stars. Loved it.

Thank you DreamCloud (and editor Tim)

Your usual excellence and my lack of sleep because I can't put it down.

Great series

Well done...one of the best I've read in quite a while...5's all the way down the line.

Wonderful story

But is this the end!……..

DreamCloud, this is the best series I have found so far on the site, I have been a member since 2010.

Fascinating series

I kind of figured on a happy ending, but not quite what DC did. Even the deus ex machina reprieve worked. Very good series!

A good story, and easily one of the best of the LW category. But . . .

the good news, it was one of the best. The bad news is the bar isn't really all that high, is it? I think technically the writing was good. I'll let the grammar geeks address any shortcomings there. The flaw was unbelievable character traits. We have a professional assassin who is sympathetic, sacrificing, romantic, and a lover of people, especially women and children. Obviously such a psyche cannot exist. Did you mean for this to be science fiction? Jayden would have to be nonhuman to be believable. Jayden was happily driving to Indianapolis to kill whomever he was told, until a child was included. So while he risked his life to save the child, if the child was not included in the hit he would have blithely blown the child's mother's head off? How many people has he killed, not knowing (or caring?) if they had children or spouses? Of course the female assassin just compounds the personality spoofing. Everyone knows that deep down in the heart of a cold blooded killer there is a burgeoning spirit of warmth and love, just waiting to be released. As soon as their last kill bleeds out. And they clean the brain splatter off their shoes. As long as the mark turned 18 as of yesterday? I wonder what Jayden's age limit was?

I understand you wanted to show a dramatic turnaround in human spirit, but you should have found some other profession that did not require a mentally deranged killer morphing into Mister Rogers. How about a guy who travels from factory to factory, throwing people out of work, closing down large industries, and causing economic and professional chaos in small towns? Or maybe a guy who brokers organ donors for rich clients, having parents and relatives sell their kidneys or liver to pay for their child's chemotherapy, etc. That would at least be believable. The transformation of Jayden is commensurate with Adolph Hilter converting to Judaism, and moving into a Kibbutz.

So, a really enjoyable fairy tale. But is a fairy tale what you meant to tell?

lmao

Great story, as to the previous comment, I had no idea that this site was for stories strictly based on reality. Dang and here I thought that there was fiction here as well, guess i was wrong. lmao. It was a story, you tried to read too deep into the character instead of enjoying it, if you merely read for enjoyment you'd have understood the little tidbits about him not killing children, him not understanding the impact his kills had on children, him coming to the realization after Susans mother is killed in front of her, everything was laid out for you yet you failed to comprehend the progression.

Masterful storytelling

I sure hope you have more stories in you. This was well constructed, with a tightly woven plot that introduced several different characters, in many different settings, and yet never lost its way or got bogged down. Kudos to your editor for his contribution to making the story flow smoothly, without the grammatical glitches and spelling errors that seem to plague so many of the authors on this site. You have real talent. I left this story for last and have enjoyed everything you have written, to date. I will be watching for more.

thank you

For a "job" well done! Thank you for being a wonderful story spinner!
Every single one of your artistic dalliances listed to date -- are gems! Characters you love, how they love, how fleshy they are, etc.
Truly a breath of fresh air...

spoilt

I have for the past two days been trying go access chapter 7. Ended up reading the end first.. Shame....9

Hitpersons () with a conscience about kids

Anyone who finds the idea incredible should watch a very funny British/Irish movie called 'In Bruges'.

Nice!!!!

What a nice story. So entertaining and unusual. I loved all the twists and turns. It was a real page turner. I didn't think I would like it at the beginning but I couldn't wait for the next chapter once I got into it. You really know how to write a romance. I love a happy ending and was really rooting for all of them. Beverly - Happy; Marissa - Happy; Susan-Happy; What about Sandra? Would have been nice if she had a happy ending. Thank You for a very nice story.

Fantastic

Absolutely fantastic series, I hope you have more stories coming up. Thank You.

Awesome series!

And since I felt the need to read the whole damn thing in one sitting, I'm blaming you for me being late for work!!!

Keep writing. You are VERY good at it.

Grammar Geeks Beware

As one geek to another, this story was one of the best ones that I've ever read. It is good to have all your characters' names be unchanging, and all "i"s be crossed and all the "t"s dotted, but above all else, the story must be good. There were issues here, but not BAD problems.

Nothing was bad enough to get my inner nerd going.

The story flowed beautifully and the characters were very interesting, displaying deliciously droll humor combined with sparkling dialogue, over-watched by excellent action.

WOW!!!!!

Just an absolutely fantastic story. You are one hell of a writer, I had to read this in one sitting. I just could not put it down. Thanks for sharing it with us!!!

Compared to

your other stories I didn't care for the subject matter, as much. Still, great writing and very daring. Not everyone can make two assassins the hero and heroine of the story and succeed. What astonished me is the high ratings this story received. We've already established that your writing style is superb so maybe this was an experiment, of sorts. Take two assassins for the mob, traditionally the villains, give them a limit (no child targets) and see if you can turn the two assassins into the good guys and the story into a romance novel. If your writing process remained the same I would have loved to have seen where your thought process started out. Even though I didn't care for the subject it still held my interest. Thank you for sharing your imagination and the hard work it took to put it in writing.

Another Great Story

Your stories are very hard to put down. I discovered you about a week ago, and now I have nothing left to read! I've read them all!.....Please keep writing. Between you and your editor Tim, all your stories turned out great. The twists and turns, I love the surprises that pop up just when you think you know what's going to happen, something better shows up. Thank you!

and they all lived

happily ever after.
in their own weird and wonderful way

fade

excellent

how you tied up (nearly) all the loose ends at the end, and as many as could be.

have all the stars possible

I couldn't vote

Every chapter deserved a 5 but the site only accepted my vote on 3!

Each one of your stories a treasure by itself!

Every one a pleasure to read!

Another great story

That I could not stop reading until I got to the end

Yoshi

DC/T

I was not sure I was going to like this story due to the explicit and descriptive sex, but knowing you I kept going and I was not disappointed. I gave you a full vote on each chapter and will look forward to more.
Ed Grocott
edgrocott@gmail.com

I mean, really, could Kyle have BEEN any more stupid...?

What sort of person can easily overpower someone larger and so willingly threaten their death - with a gun they had so close at hand - that was believable enough to make you not try to fight back...?

And yet not only did he engage in passive aggressive - assuming you consider slashing tires while running away PA... He also figured it was total BS and went against what he was told...

Likely he was just so used to being a bully he couldn't remember to be afraid...

Not my favorite of your stories but still enjoyable...

What a wonderfully strange story :)

I have to compliment you sir, and Tim for editing. This was the best:) chapter 6 i read two times in one hour, before i continued to ch 7 :) that was the best chapter of romantica, i have ever read. But i hope you will give us Even better in the future. :) if you one time in the future publish someting, pls let us know:) ty vm from Norway :D

For your editor

Please tell Tim the past tense of to kneel is not kneeled but rather knelt, otherwise his grammar is quite good. For you, I like your stories, well thought out, and good sex.

What a wonderfully strange couple

You have created. Thank you for sharing your stories with us, expecting no financial return. You are a gem.

Fantastic balance

Dreamcloud is possibly the best author on Literotica in balancing the plot with the erotica. Some authors just start out with explicit sex and proceed down the usual path of playing with nipples to manual sex to mutual oral sex to the grand finale of intercourse in a number of ways....and then you realize that there was no story. DC makes the sex seem like a integral part of the story, but if that gets redundant you can skim the sex and read a worthwhile story. I thoroughly enjoyed this adventure and loved Jayden and Beverly. It took awhile for DC to settle on these two as the featured couple. For a while I was sure he'd head back to Sandra/Debra and he sort of did at the end, but this was a very satisfactory conclusion. A string of 5* chapters.

Wow

Overcritical's comment below nailed every point I wanted to make. This was a beautiful story, a classic DreamCloud really. Just amazing. I don't know what you're profession is Dream, but I can tell you that if you're not a professional author, you missed your calling :) Keep writing, and I guarantee you'll have us reading and rereading, and loving your work even more and more.

Simply Super. .

Exceptional and unique story. This author is one of several that in my opinion are the best on the site. Will seek and read everything he writes. 🏆

Great, but...

Great story, but Bev getting even by cheating with Sandra ruined my opinion of this last chapter.

Cheating

Like the comment below, the cheating by bev with sandra kind of ruined the ending for me.

Great story

Thoroughly enjoyed reading this story which was well structured and the flick back to Marissa and Doug was brilliant. Also enjoyed the story rather than the sex which is refreshing!

Awesome story....Spin-off?

The plot's pretty good and detailed.Loved it.
Looking forward for a spin-off with Beverly as lead character.

Overall a good story

I really like the way you tell a story. BUT...like others said, the cheating was just wrong. If they want to have an open relationship that's cool with me--but that's not the honorable way to go about it. She was jealous of his PAST so she decides to have sex with one of his PAST women without discussing it with him? So, so wrong.

I also feel like Beverly's jealousy and upset reactions are too over-the-top through the whole story. She's a successful assassin, I think they tend to stay calm and controlled a bit better than the average person. She may not have had a relationship in a long time, but I bet she's seen drama.

I quibble about these things because I respect you as a storyteller! Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

meh

You could have found a better way to shoe-horn the threesome in this chapter, even dropping it entirely improves the character development.

Thoughts

@Anonymous Re: Kneeled – Actually, either is correct.

Re: Children – There was a scene where he questioned how many children who lost parents due to his work.

Re: Sandra/Beverly – While I suppose it was technically cheating since she didn’t tell him first, she obviously wasn’t intending to hide it from him, and her explanation made s kind of weird sense! I was hoping for a more permanent threesome!

A great story.

I loved reading it from start to finish. You are a hell of a writer.
For me the one thing that kind of ruined it was the threesome at the end. It felt forced. Beverly suddenly gave up her jealousy? Sorry not buying it,
The rest of it is a masterpiece.