Bennie the Cuckold

stories of the mentally ill arent erotic

why support this piece of trash slut?

This is a cuckold story, you know the kind of story where the husband is dominated and openly cheated by their wife. If you are not into this kind of stories, I suggest you move on to other categories. This is my first attempt at story writing. Any form o

And I suggest you fuck off, didn't get past your little rant at the start. 1*

To both anonymice

Did the title of the story not give you a hint as to what you might find? Why either of you even clicked on the story is beyond my comprehension. Are you too thick to realize or do you get off on looking for stories you know you won't like just so you can insult the author. You are both trolls of the worst kind.

To the Last Commenter/Anonymice?

I believe you sir are the troll here.Bitching at other commenters but saying nothing about the story itself.So basically you troll the comments section to rant at other readers.Really? As.for this story it would do far better in Fetish where it belongs Sorry Africa humiliation is non erotic As you probably already know

1*

First, and hope last

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee....pleaseeeeeeeeeee...

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee....pleaseeeeeeeeeee...End this story right here!! When he says that his wife what have in looks missed in intelligence, he was wrong, because he was the one that misses intelligence. 1st - he was bullied and bossed around in school, and never bought a real gun? That's being stupid. 2nd - As soon as his wife cheat on him with the trainer, he would be out of the house in that instant. How could she and the trainer live, is she didn't work and the trainer would make little money? Or if he had the gun, the trainer would be out of the house in seconds and the cheating wife would follow him after having a bag with her clothing. Not doing this he showed that he was the real unintelligent in the family. And being so, this story has no future.

Forget the content of the story!

This is, by far, one of the worst written stories I have read here. What happened to Literotica? They used to have writing standards. And, why does every idiot with a sick mind think he is a writer?
Either learn to write or don't write! Yes, this is a free site but a certain standard should still be set and that standard should be way above this crap! Go back to grammar school and learn 3rd grade english before attempting to write anything again.

Good story!!!!

Congrats!!! :)

commenting Idiots

You know when authors warn the readers to move on and not bother to read 'cuckold stories' they do so in an attempt to Idiot proove their work. I guess no amount of idiot prooving is good enough 4 some idiots. Judging and rating a story because you don't like the category is stuipid. Why the fuck would Ben need a gun to shoot Stan? He enjoys being cuckolded. As for the grammar, I see nothing wrong in this grammar. And as for the idot who talked about chicken and aids? Rest my case.

Thanks

Thank you all for your criticism :)

Just another nigger dreaming

of obtaining their ultimate prize in life ie.. a white women. # 1 Sorry same old crap. Get some new ideas.

re: commenting idiots

I guess the authors idiot proofing did not apply to you To bad seems after your rant maybe it should have BTW Poorly written formulaic drivel

Re: To the Last Commenter/Anonymice?

Shut the fuck up calclover you fucking moron.

re: anonymous-commenting idiots

The only real idiot on this site is guys like you. What concern is it of yours what others think of a story? You're right this author did warn the reader in a preface of what to expect, so therefore I didn't read this. But if most readers are like myself, we're getting sick and tired of having very few choices but willing cuckold tales in loving wives. Why not make a category for just you cuckold lovers so the rest of us don't have to wade through tons of non-erotic stories. I rest my case. To the author: Try something different for a change and see what kind of results you get. No vote.

Re. re. anonymous commenting idiots

I didn't read this story, as the warning at the beginning was enough to deter me. I also didn't rate this story, since I didn't read it. (See how that works, annonies?)

But I do want to comment on the comments. Especially this one: "But if most readers are like myself, we're getting sick and tired of having very few choices but willing cuckold tales in loving wives."

Read the description of this category: "Extra-marital fun, swinging and sharing." What the fuck did you think you were going to read when you decided to come to this category? If you don't like cuckold stories, stay away from Loving Wives, because that is part of what this category is all about, by definition!

If the only stories you like are about divorce and murder of cheating wives, I suggest you check out the Non-Erotic category. Unless you jerk off to stories about divorce, you're in the wrong section.

One- bombing the authors who place these stories in the proper category clearly isn't a winning strategy. Neither is submitting your hateful, racist comments. So why not head to Non-Erotic for your fill of revenge murder tales and everyone will be happy?

Gee, it sure would be nice if cuckolding stories had their own section so you anonymous idiots who are too stupid to read titles and tags and author's comments didn't keep 'accidentally' reading them and flaming them and threatening their authors. A section that was about extra-marital fun and was explicitly stated to be about erotic cheating stories by Laurel herself rather than petty, violent little revenge stories or boring, non-erotic consequence stories. She could call it something like....oh, say, I don't know, Loving Wives.

Anonymous commenters, as usual, have absolutely nothing to contribute to this site and should not be allowed a voice. And people who don't like cuckolding stories and who bitch and moan about the actual loving wives readers and writers here finally getting a voice after having anons belittle and threaten and abuse the voting and comment systems here should just fucking stop reading stories here. Problem solved.

Zero

A decent looking woman wouldnt marry "fat bennie" in the first place and if dhe did the asshat jock wouldnt waste his time with her either.

Ha Ha Ha

@frontlinecaster Ha Ha Ha I began a campaign to divide the LW into two hubs one and half year ago.
A marriage story section with cheating wives and average husbands with revenge consequence and reconciliation stories. The other hub would be for the happy cuckold stories .........I am glad you are in my boat like Churchill and Roosevelt were glad to Stalin!

Duna

the category complaint

Wanting to humiliate another person is Sadism.

Wanting to be humiliated by another person is Masochism.

BDSM
Bondage
Discipline
Sadism
Masochi sm

re: Part 2 coming soon.

I'm not sure which is worse, that there's more of this to come or that you couldn't be bothered to warn this wasn't a complete story. "This is my first attempt..." So fucking what?

no harm no foul

I agree the warning was given about tbe content. What I do is I skip to tbe last paragraph in a very rare occasion the worm turns and becomes a BTB story. Then I go back and read the whole story. Most of the times it doesnt turn, but what? I'm sure someone else enjoys the wimpy cuck stories. Since I'm not one of them I move on to the next. Why waste the effort complainng? Just move on.

Let me see if I can give you a little constructive criticism...

First let me say, I didn't read the story, nor did I score it. This is not my kind of story so I passed it by until I saw some of the comments listed. I had to see if the story was as bad as they made it out to be so I scanned it, just now.

My first suggestion has to do with content. It's boilerplate. That means there is nothing original. The story is short and you used every cliche' in the book. You're certainly not the only one here doing it, but why not try to be a cut above the usual tripe.

Next, the grammar is terrible. I saw one comment that was a little harsh, and he offered no reasons for his criticism, but he was right. There are certain rules to writing you must learn; they are steadfast and can not be broken if you want to call yourself a writer. One is; every time someone else talks you form a new paragraph. You should never have two different people talking in the same paragraph unless one is quoting someone else and in that case, there are also rules to follow. Also, "he said," "she said," must be set off with commas.

There are actually too numerous mistakes to list them all. My suggestion is to take a couple on-line courses in writing. Learn the rules and get some original ideas before attempting your next story.

Follow Laptopwriter's Advice

Sound advice from an accomplished author. 1* till your writing improves. Then get an editor. Only had to skim this and won't read Ch. 02. Like writer said I came to this because of the comments. Will give you credit for trying even if the content sucks.

Just ignore the.....

....Troglodyte racist pea-brained assholes that think being from Africa automatically means you're black. You may be, but that is not even relevant.
So.
Either your primary language is Afrikaans, or one of the many indigenous languages of the land. Your writing shows a need for polish and considerable editorial work. I applaud your bravery, submitting something to this most difficult of all the Literotica categories and especially doing it in a language which may not yet be closely familiar to you, or in which you may not yet be skilled enough to capture the details and nuances of expression.
You leave out a lot of prepositionals, mix number and tense, confuse singular and plural, as well as using "cause" where you should use "course", as in "of course". There are many, many other issues, some seem cultural in nature, others just showing a lack of effort in polishing your work for publication in English.
Finally, my biggest issue, is that your storyline is very, very trite one, filled with bad and mostly erroneous stereotypes.
Point of fact: My CPA is a power lifter and could easily squish workout-lover boy's poor head with his biceps. The man is damn near a genius with bookkeeping and taxes, saves me tens of thousands each year and is a gentle soul until angered. Then he is precise, clever and devastating to those that have wronged him or his family and/or friends. And he's huge at 6' 3" with broad shoulders and capable hands. His little wife is barely 5' tall, really well shaped and as sweet a lady as you'll ever meet....not anything like your stereotypes. And BTW, most CPAs I know aren't dickless wimps, just good with numbers.
The point? It is best, even when writing a cuckhold story to avoid the obvious and stupid stereotypes, since they are usually false. Avoid the "I'm a wimpy victim" set up, where you tell us about the main character's obvious weaknesses and shortcomings, (can't get a date, tiny dick, lousy social skills, ugly as the back end of a donkey, etc.) then magically hook him up with a stunningly beautiful woman or a babe that is his obvious social superior and that such an obvious loser could never get a conversation, let alone a date or even a study session with....and forget about getting married to such as her. It stretches credulity far beyond the limits of even the most fantastic imaginings and for me, breaks the mood of the story entirely.
This hackneyed junk is all boring, as every other cuckold story writer in the forum has beat this storyline to death for years. I despair of ever seeing a fresh cuckold storyline here. There seems to be no creative capacity in the contributor subgroup beyond the 5 or 6 variations, now ancient here.
So, my advice?
Try something new and different. Perhaps you should have our wimpy hero get serious about working out, get very strong and healthy, then kick lover boy's ass out, send the whore wife to a Mexican whore house where she can do some good in the world, then start over by taking lessons from a qualified sex therapist to learn how to use the cock he's got to best advantage, then relocate and move on.

Next, try to get editorial help and spend at least twice as much effort in smoothing it out, correcting grammar, spelling and use of colloquialisms, etc., until it reads like a good magazine article. Then you'll get respect and much more positive feedback.
Finally, in this LW category, you'll always have to suffer the Troglodytes and Neanderthals. But some of us will always shoot straight with you....even if we don't care for your choice of topic.

What the FUCK?!?

What the fuck is with all the racists on this site?? Bunch of fucking dinosaurs! I thought all of you dumbasses died already! Unbelievable.

Is there even a black character in this story?? Seriously. What a bunch of fucking brain-dead, toothless, cousin-banging, sister-loving, Bible-thumping, brainless, dickless, asinine, moronic, mouth-breathing, mother fucking idiots.

Aside from that, I'm sure they're all good men with good hearts.

LOL

Gotta love the racist moron who can't even spell his racist insults.

Fucking toothless hillbillies.

Hi, errbody!

Enjoying the site? Good. Nothing like some good, down and dirty sexual fun ...

Yeah, right.

well damn

everything was going fine until i got to the sentence, "I got mesmerized by his massive tool," then my fag alarm started blaring so i stopped reading. too bad, the writing was pretty good.

This is your first story and it shows

Well done for having the balls to post your story on this site, because as I'm sure you're learning is that people can be brutal in their comments and voting. I liked the theme of your story, but remember cuckold stories never seem to be popular in the "loving wives" section so next time consider putting it in "fetish".

Your story shows many of the mistakes that amateur and first time writers make. Grammar, punctuation, and spelling was on the poor side. There are a lot of good writing guides you see on this site so I suggest you read them. Most of all, don't be in a hurry to put your work out there, take some time and work on it because this kind of reads like a first draft. Not a version ready to be published.

Some of the wording you used is clumsy like "Massive tool" to describe Stan's penis. I agree with some that wasn't a highlight. Overall, you shown very good imagination which is the first step in writing. Keep writing and learning how to do it properly, because that's how you get better. People will say grammar isn't important in writing, but that's like saying the engine isn't important in a car. You don't have to become an expert at it, but mastering the basics will make you a much better writer.

Good luck with it.

Well, well, well

First thing you do is ignore the trolls. They hate everything and everyone. Second you took a pretty good story and rushed it. Fear not, that is normal for first timers. Third, you needed to build up to it. Like the stud calling you a few names and your wife laughing, then the next week a bit more humiliation with the realization that your wife had eyes for the stud and that it turned you on. Etc, Etc. But last thing is, keep trying. Only way to get better.

Keep Writing

Fun concept, I like all of the elements. It was rushed, so next time remember not to get in a hurry to progress to the next level and have someone proof read for you.

Ignore the haters, they weren't hugged enough as children (or maybe too much?)