Top 12 Signs Your Lesbian Erotica

I have seen them all...

... in various stories, and you are spot on. Brilliantly exposed, now I'll read every story to spot these screw ups and determine for myself before hitting the bio page.

Excellent.

Perfect - please do the persistent hymen myth next...or the obvious vaginal contractions during orgasm...or squirting....or...

Agreed

I am not female, nor do I typically frequent the lesbian sex category, but I definitely enjoyed this and hate seeing these things in straight works as well (and see most of them far too often). Really? Why do I need to know her measurements as the first thing I find out about the female interest? Or worse, sometimes that's the most original part of the character.

Thanks for the laugh!

Wait...

"as though lesbianism were a doomsday cult or a pyramid scheme always seeking new members. "

You mean it isn't? What about all these application forms promising awesome sex followed by awesome snuggle time?

Next you're going to tell me there isn't a secret gay agenda to take over the world through systematic infiltration of the fashion industry... I have my stylish tinfoil hat and matching accessories to protect me from them though, they'll never get meeee -ah crap.

Ha! I was just thinking about this topic the other day. That this story was written by a guy. I tend to think that many stories written here are by guys who have little actual sexual experience. Then you have stories, usually well done, by older pansexual men who hang with a crowd that swaps sexual identities regularly.

I was

hooked on nr.1. Was this something you threw together in pure frustration after browsing the Lesbian Sex category (could totally relate to that, seeing as this summarized 98% of my experience with browsing stories in the LS category) , or have you been planning this submission for some time? Interesting initiative, god knows someone had to say it. Hilarious!

What's even more impressive...

is that all of your stories but one are rated HOT (and that 1 missed by just a little). Even though I'm a straight male, numbers 1, 4, 6, 7, 8 & 12 do resonate.

Amusing insights without a speculum

Smartly diagrammed LCL. I have also noticed a number of allegedly Lesbian stories on this site. Where the characters and the plots ring false. If the character first of all does not sound like a woman (& I've known a lot of women in my time) how is any of the rest of that story to be believable?

And then the stories tend to be repetitious, lacking humor and excruciatingly, tediously boring.

As for your other point the incest theme is a common subconscious current throughout many male writers postings to this site. Especially to feed the addiction of their fans in the Loving Wives genre for stories about the Saintly Man destroyed by the Evil Wife. Only to be rescued by a young clone of the BTB trolls mothers.

It pestered at me, how falsely the dialogues of the LW genre characters sounded when spoken outloud. So, I was inspired...

...To conduct an experiment where I took a sample of popular LW stories and reversed the dialogue spoken by the opposing genders .

That the mistreated fictional male character was now speaking the female character's dialogue. And the monstrous Wife was speaking the dialogue of the male characters.

It becomes obvious that the writers and their fans are suppressing deep rooted homosexual self-loathing and insecurity. I call them 'spelunkers'. Cause they are so deep into the closet they'd need to rappel out. If they ever had the courage to climb.

Separate categories, dammit!

This is great - and exactly on point. I so wish there could be separate categories for Lesbian Erotica for Women and Lesbian Erotica for Men. It would make me a much happier Lit reader. Alas, it will never be.

Thanks all. TAF, my girlfriend had to work and I was a bit tipsy and looking for something to read. Then I clicked away from terrible story after terrible story and eventually found one so ludicrous that I couldn't stop laughing. I'd talked with other LS readers about this before though.

FiveWolves, there's talk of a bisexual category that I think would be more clear and effective.

Thanks for your comment on Amber's New Job and

this entertaining entry. What you wrote about the lesbian category in regard to Amber made perfect sense. Not only hadn't I thought about it, I probably would never have. I shall keep it in mind in the future. The entry above was great. If I ever try to tackle a true lesbian story I will try to abide by its strictures. I look forward to reading more of your material.

Funny because it's true

I don't even read a lot in the Lesbian category, and a lot of this rang true anyhow.

I am just mystified by the overall overwhelming popularity of Incest. It just doesn't do it for me. Part of that I think goes to the core of what I think you're saying here, that verisimilitude (or at least plausibility) is key to both the quality of the story and its hotness. Yes, I understand, writing especially here is fantasy, but it's a turnoff when lesbians reveal themselves as faux because they're dudes, or an encounter couldn't have happened that way because our knees don't bend backwards, or when the incest is 99.9 percent impossible because the family members grew up together instead of meeting later in life as adults.

You have to be a really good writer to make violations of reality work (like PacoFear on incest, for instance). And most writers here just aren't that good. This particular kind of writer you're talking about is too busy getting off on his own bizarro ideas to pay attention to something actually interesting outside himself ... which is both offensive and unbelievably tedious.

Well done

Coming from a guy, you hit the nail on the head. It's clear that many male writers just want to write schlock involving lesbians and that they don't give a damn about writing stories that make sense or stories that have women who have any characterization besides "hot woman who likes women." I mean, sure, I'm not expecting a classic of literature but if you put some effort into your story and it makes sense then that makes the parts that are erotic that much more powerful.

PS: I'll admit that #12 is my guilty pleasure. I know it's stupid as hell and it's turning the women into sex zombies but...FUCK, I can't help it.

To the Anonymous Who Likes #12

You have no reason to feel guilty. It's apparently a very common male fantasy.

I can tell you though that just about the very last thing I want to hear from a woman I've taken to bed is, "Wow, I have got to do THAT again...with any woman in the world except you."

Love the list and the humour contained there in

Unfortunately it is those same authors, at whom this list is directed, who will never read it.

One comment about stories written by women about women, they tend to be the most romantic on this, and any other site.

#4 is my bugbear

Men tend to forget that the lesbian definition of beauty is not necessarily the same as men's. Count the number of true butch characters and it's nearly zero - but maybe that's because I have a thing for butches!

Ladies and Gentlemen, MissLisaJones

MissLisaJones is the only author (that I know of) to successfully break rule #3 and have a stronger and more believable lesbian sex story BECAUSE it includes repeated rape/prostitution by men.

Does this count because it happens it hetero fiction as well?

One of the women will talk incessantly about how good it feels and drag out words, turning "cumming" into a 15-letter word or even long and say "Ohh" every other sentence and add an incredible number of "O's" and "H"s"?

just saying

ok so what if they are written by males... when im aroused i dont mind the small details and lets be truthful most of you dont care too :-*

Guys and their fantasies.

Your 12 step program was a good read. Dammit.

Most "lesbians" are dudes

Really, on Literotica, aren't most "female" lesbian authors dudes? I think so.