All Comments on 'Young Adults Ch. 01'

Baloden,

had you not cut & pasted so much the stroy could have been pretty good. Good story line, but be more creative.

Just the descriptions were bad.

So stereotyped!!!!!

The next story I read with the lead character having green eyes gets a fucking zero!

The first two comments already mentioned some of my problems with this story. Another thing you might want to consider is the use of quotation marks. The best story in the world would be turned into a pile of crap without quotation marks.

Other than that, I like the concept of the story, maybe you should re-work it using the advice you received from the comments.

worst story ever....grade 3 writing level