Someday Ch. 01

I like where this is going :-)

keep it going

I'm liking this so far.

I like Friends' romance

Yes keep going, and you have a fun writing style. I like friends who become romantic stories the best. It's also good that you did not write a long lead in if you had no intention of going erotic at first.

P.S.

I forgot to mention, please do NOT have Dana be all unsure/low self-esteem where Avery/Jamie has to spend 5 chapters building her self-confidence.

Great start!!!!!

You do have a great writing style and I'm looking forward to the rest. I do agree with the other commentators, don't make Dana insecure, but confident. Lastly, make Avery work for the "virgin cookie". A little miffed he didn't know who she was and that they hadn't talked in awhile....so he needs to earn her (from Scandal).

They both need to work to be together. It takes two to make a relationship work so it should not be all on Avery to earn Dana if this is where the story is going.

It appears that Dana isn't as outgoing as Avery. We don't have much to go on because this chapter is based mostly on Avery and from his POV. I definitely would like to know what is going on in Dana's head and why they haven't seen each other in so long.

Very good start

can't wait to see more from you about these two. Take your time and let them develop don't rush it.

Great start.

Love the humor in it. Try longer chapters.

Love It

Wonderful beginning, please update soon

Great beginning

So awesome!! I like Avery and i like Dana!! More please!!

Not long enough and not really a cliff hanger either, hate when the writers on this site put such short chapters up. Please don't be like the many who don't update for months on end and then when you do its small like this. 3*

From the Author:

Thanks for all of the lovely feedback, guys! I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter, and I'll be updating ASAP. I will also try to make the next chapter longer. Let's go, team Avery and Dana, haha.

@Anonymous

You obviously didn't read the very end. Like I said, its the first chapter, and I didn't want to make it too long, considering I was just starting the story up. On the contrary, thanks for the feedback, anyway.

Good start

Realistic dialogue and scenario. Don't let the haters pull you down.

I like it :)

I think the beginning of the story is great and you should definitely continue :)

Great start

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Wickedly Funny

Interesting story with a funny narrative...please continue

Best story I've read in a long time!!!

Adorable, sexy, cute....and most importantly, no spelling errors!!! Even DD is a grammar Nazi! WELL DONE!!

omg, in love already

Reading the next installment now, awesome!