I appreciate the effort you make trying to finish the story, but I like most of your readers don't want to see the guy get back with the cheating bitch. You always seems to come up with some lame ass revenge and than take the women back. we want a true happy ending.
but the longer you write the more you tend towards RAAC. Most people would not have been as understanding as our intrepid hero in this story. If she liked being beaten so much that she left puddles on the ground and let him do what he wanted to, she didn't make much effort to stop him. If hubby can't trust her with that guy, she can't be trusted with anyone else. He will brag about how submissive she is and what a slut she is and if she continues to dress and act the part there will be gang bangs in her future.
What he should have done was stop it before it went too far, he knew she had crossed the line long before she did, and throw her cheating ass out. I'm sorry, but to me the longer you are married to someone the less you should have to worry about them cheating on you. She had to know he wouldn't put up with that, so the answer here is that she didn't care. Neighbor boy was in control of her and her actions, she gave her devotion and loyalty to him which made her not a wife any more, just some old slut who was in his house.
Gave it a 2, not for the writing, but for the resolution. You didn't have much to work with as usual but I don't think you improved it much either. His problem is still there. He can beat her all he wants but she's going to do it again, probably with the same guy. He seems to have her number, right?
Anger makes us much more impressive (as a rule) and so people tend to take at least another look before continuing to disrespect you -
Some times you can achieve the same results but simply going quiet and getting in the way - that can be a remarkable conversation stopper.
by
Anonymous03/07/15
A STRANGE ENDING TO STRANGE AFTERNOON
I myself prefer PTremer's story without this ending.
First of all it totally belongs to Loving Wives category whereas FTDS's ending does & doesn't.
The original story is about a husband who watches his drunk naughty wife crossing the line and gets a kick out of it.
PTremer intentionally left the story sort of unfinished: he either planned to write Ch. 2 himself or let us use our respective imaginations.
If the latter is the case, FTDS had every right to finish it the way he wanted. The problem is he ought to have kept the same characters. What i mean is the husband from FTDS's story (if true to his character) could have told his wife to stop drinking, could have reminded his friend that crossing the line is crossing the line. He could have done so many subtle or at least polite things to stop the wife when she was about to cross the line. BUT HE DID NOT DO ANY OF THE ABOVE. WHY? BECAUSE PTREMER WROTE ABOUT A DIFFERENT MAN THAN FTDS. In FTDS's version the husband does things that are not in his character as we know him. Makes you think whether he suffers from split personality disorder where different persons take over the whole body when they get overly irritated.
FTDS has a good writing style. His problem is he likes Loving Wife stories where the wife does not fuck other men. He would like a cold cut sub without cold cuts. Boston cream without cream.
If she'd do that at home, with her husband in the house I'd say she failed the fidelity test. There was no mention of kids, so that is a blessing and a serious consideration. If he keeps her and she has kids, he will be stuck with her for 21 years after the youngest one is born. MINIMUM 21 years! That is a lot of time to fuck up in. If he doesn't accept it, he will have to pay for the privilege of divorcing her and paying monstrous child support (ransom) to her. Not to mention the damage done to his children by her selfish behavior. She is poor wife material, and will never be mother material. Time to cut your losses.
English
I appreciate the effort you make trying to finish the story, but I like most of your readers don't want to see the guy get back with the cheating bitch. You always seems to come up with some lame ass revenge and than take the women back. we want a true happy ending.
Mostly like your finishes
but the longer you write the more you tend towards RAAC. Most people would not have been as understanding as our intrepid hero in this story. If she liked being beaten so much that she left puddles on the ground and let him do what he wanted to, she didn't make much effort to stop him. If hubby can't trust her with that guy, she can't be trusted with anyone else. He will brag about how submissive she is and what a slut she is and if she continues to dress and act the part there will be gang bangs in her future.
What he should have done was stop it before it went too far, he knew she had crossed the line long before she did, and throw her cheating ass out. I'm sorry, but to me the longer you are married to someone the less you should have to worry about them cheating on you. She had to know he wouldn't put up with that, so the answer here is that she didn't care. Neighbor boy was in control of her and her actions, she gave her devotion and loyalty to him which made her not a wife any more, just some old slut who was in his house.
Gave it a 2, not for the writing, but for the resolution. You didn't have much to work with as usual but I don't think you improved it much either. His problem is still there. He can beat her all he wants but she's going to do it again, probably with the same guy. He seems to have her number, right?
That wasn't good....
That was great.....bill
5sssssssss
Sometimes simple solutons are the best solutons
Anger makes us much more impressive (as a rule) and so people tend to take at least another look before continuing to disrespect you -
Some times you can achieve the same results but simply going quiet and getting in the way - that can be a remarkable conversation stopper.
A STRANGE ENDING TO STRANGE AFTERNOON
I myself prefer PTremer's story without this ending.
First of all it totally belongs to Loving Wives category whereas FTDS's ending does & doesn't.
The original story is about a husband who watches his drunk naughty wife crossing the line and gets a kick out of it.
PTremer intentionally left the story sort of unfinished: he either planned to write Ch. 2 himself or let us use our respective imaginations.
If the latter is the case, FTDS had every right to finish it the way he wanted. The problem is he ought to have kept the same characters. What i mean is the husband from FTDS's story (if true to his character) could have told his wife to stop drinking, could have reminded his friend that crossing the line is crossing the line. He could have done so many subtle or at least polite things to stop the wife when she was about to cross the line. BUT HE DID NOT DO ANY OF THE ABOVE. WHY? BECAUSE PTREMER WROTE ABOUT A DIFFERENT MAN THAN FTDS. In FTDS's version the husband does things that are not in his character as we know him. Makes you think whether he suffers from split personality disorder where different persons take over the whole body when they get overly irritated.
FTDS has a good writing style. His problem is he likes Loving Wife stories where the wife does not fuck other men. He would like a cold cut sub without cold cuts. Boston cream without cream.
A LONG TIME AND REPETITIOUS
paybacks are the best ever o extract payback/revenge. TK U MLJ LV NV
Fidelity Test
If she'd do that at home, with her husband in the house I'd say she failed the fidelity test. There was no mention of kids, so that is a blessing and a serious consideration. If he keeps her and she has kids, he will be stuck with her for 21 years after the youngest one is born. MINIMUM 21 years! That is a lot of time to fuck up in. If he doesn't accept it, he will have to pay for the privilege of divorcing her and paying monstrous child support (ransom) to her. Not to mention the damage done to his children by her selfish behavior. She is poor wife material, and will never be mother material. Time to cut your losses.
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