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Danger!!!Danger!!!
This chapter sure sounds like a recipe for destruction of a marriage. A perfect storm of (oops, we fucked up) seduction and betrayal. Can't wait for the next chapter!!
A different perspective
Although this is not my preferred sub-genre in the Loving Wives section, I can appreciate a well crafted, fantasy story. I enjoyed the dialog between Michael and Michelle in Chapter 3. One of the most alluring aspects of her character was her seeming innocence, her naiveté, as she came to terms with her husband's fetish. Their exchanges, and discovering that fantasy could possibly become reality, was both hot, and yet in reality, would give any normal wife pause. Most wives would take stock and reevaluate, basically slow the process down.
I respectfully disagree with swingerjoe's comment. I felt like Chapter 4 accelerated the hook-up with Brandon so quickly, that much of the hotness was sapped from the story. Literally less than 24 hours later, she went from naïve wife to big cock slut. Sorry, but for these stories to "work" for me, the seduction and buildup has to be slower, with more care consideration between husband and wife. You rushed this.
Additionally in Chapter 4, the story's narrative became more of the focal point at the expense of important details (and this type of story is all about the details.) For example, what were the texts that Brandon sent to her in the morning? What did he tell her? It was not important for Michael to know, but as a reader, I wanted to know.
I also wanted more dialogue between Brandon and Michelle in their scene. Because of that, the scene lacked the electricity that must certainly occur when a wife takes a lover with her husband's encouragement.
You write well, however, please try to focus on more dialogue, rather than telling us what the characters feel. Let them speak their emotions. I am certain that Michelle's character, when her time with Brandon is done, will be overwhelmed with many conflicting thoughts. As a writer, you must get inside her head. Challenge yourself. Hopefully, her conversation with Michael will avoid the usual clichés and focus on what real couples might think and feel...
I look forward to future chapters.
1
This marriage is already in the gutter. How excruciatingly long stories/series are out there where the writer finally realizes this kind of slut/cuck relationship doesn't work out. The slut just has to have more and plays outside the rules. Hubby finally realizes he's excess baggage. Can you really separate sex and love, or, at least, emotional attachment, especially for the woman?
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