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It Finally Happened

byJachin2910©
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Comments (6)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous10/02/14

Real or fantasy

Not the best story I've read, and as its your first submission this is to be expected. Having said that this reads as a recollection of real events, if so, I hope you are happy with the way things turned out. If fantasy, some more explanation of what people were thinking and some expansion of dialogue would benusful. But again, very good first attempt, I look forward to reading more from this author

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by Anonymous10/02/14

Change your theme...

Enough cheating stories posted here.

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by Jachin291010/02/14

Enough Cheating Stories

That's the nature of this catagory! If not interested don't read, or at least don't post anonymously

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by Anonymous10/02/14

why?

Why go to lengths to describe the extra-marital sex, but gloss over the married sex?

Paul gets paragraphs, but hubby gets one sentence?

If your purpose was to be sexy and erotic, why not fully describe ALL of the sex that transpires in the story?

Also, why not have Amanda reveal more of her thought process through dialogue with hubby?

Why did this entire story go by without Amanda ever saying she loves her hubby?

You say they "make love" at the end, but it is hard to believe without more description. It is easier to believe that her tears are because she knows now that she is in fact no longer in love with her husband, and that this experience was the beginning of the end of their marriage. SURE...it doesn't HAVE to mean that, or turn out that way, but you as the author didn't do enough work to clarify it either.

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by Anonymous10/02/14

Excellent LW tale

Thanks for writing.

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by swingerjoe10/02/14

Welcome to Lit

This is a pretty common theme, and a very common fantasy. There wasn't a lot that separated this story from the others of its type: the demure wife with little sexual experience, the seemingly instant transition from unwilling to slut, the slow dance with the faceless stranger, the parting of ways without any conversation nor consultation with hubby, hubby hiding in the shadows while watching the two new lovers, hubby's physics-defying ability to hear everything is said between the two lovers while peering through a slit in the curtains, the lover with a cock as thick as a soda can, a magical sexual experience resulting in multiple orgasms for all, the regretful wife in the aftermath, and of course, assurances from hubby that it is okay, and plans for a follow-up gangbang.

There are probably a hundred stories (more likely more) that follow this same, exact script. As a first-time submission, I've seen far worse. You have some talent as a writer, and I encourage you to write again. Next time, add something to make the story a little different from the rest.

In this story, for example, it would've been interesting if the wife began flirting with the actor solely for hubby's benefit, then the actor got carried away and tried to take more than what she was willing to give, and then hubby came to the rescue. I'm sure that plot has also been done a hundred times, but I haven't seen it in awhile.

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