Your story seemed to jump around too much between past and present. At least I hope that's what you were doing with the brackets. It might have been a better story if you explained more about the rituals the sister endured. First by what their father taught her. Perhaps the father took her virginity while training her in her witchcraft. Try to write the story again explaining how the sister used her powers to enslave her brother. Maybe their father was behind the brother/sister coupling with the sister longing for it to be their father. So much potential here. Don't give up, but please try to expand and explain a little more.
English
Great
Very well written. Looking forward to the next installment.
Confusing
Your story seemed to jump around too much between past and present. At least I hope that's what you were doing with the brackets. It might have been a better story if you explained more about the rituals the sister endured. First by what their father taught her. Perhaps the father took her virginity while training her in her witchcraft. Try to write the story again explaining how the sister used her powers to enslave her brother. Maybe their father was behind the brother/sister coupling with the sister longing for it to be their father. So much potential here. Don't give up, but please try to expand and explain a little more.
Good story
I liked the story. I wish you had taken a little more time about it, and gone into more detail about the encounters. They seemed a bit rushed.
understand
i didn't really understand this
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