This almost seemed more like a poem than a story, the action moving along briskly but the timeline sometimes muddled. Great images, but little to hold on to connect to the characters.
by
Anonymous10/05/14
Memo to self
Avoid stories where the writing tries too hard to be clever and the characters behave in a manner as to leave no doubt that they are acting without rhyme, reason or rationality. I dislike stories where the cardboard characters are dumber than stumps. It simply makes the entire story seem idiotic which creates neither an interesting or entertaining story. This was simply awful.
Eh, what can I say. I liked it. The prose was on point and it turned me on. It was a short story. How much character development is a body going to ask for in that amount of time? The feeling of a submissive who enjoys it, and a firm and just-wicked-enough Dom was present enough to create the mood you wanted, I think. Eh. Haters gonna hate. Good job!
English
Effective use of stream of consciousness
This almost seemed more like a poem than a story, the action moving along briskly but the timeline sometimes muddled. Great images, but little to hold on to connect to the characters.
Memo to self
Avoid stories where the writing tries too hard to be clever and the characters behave in a manner as to leave no doubt that they are acting without rhyme, reason or rationality. I dislike stories where the cardboard characters are dumber than stumps. It simply makes the entire story seem idiotic which creates neither an interesting or entertaining story. This was simply awful.
I liked it
Eh, what can I say. I liked it. The prose was on point and it turned me on. It was a short story. How much character development is a body going to ask for in that amount of time? The feeling of a submissive who enjoys it, and a firm and just-wicked-enough Dom was present enough to create the mood you wanted, I think. Eh. Haters gonna hate. Good job!
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