Casper House

Classic

Thank you for sharing

Elvis and Jayne fantastic

Absolutely spell binding and I hope one day to carry on reading x

good read

I was concerned there for a minute you were going to go pedo on us, what with those girls being 8. However, I am glad it never came to that.

Nice variation

on the ghost hitchhiker story. Really well done.

Thank you...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading story. Thank you for sharing.

sequel?

Looking forward to more of this story!

sweet story

It should win on the grounds of positivity. Terrific detail, just the right pacing.

Yay!

This needs a rating higher than 5! I loved this story! ^.^

Great story

You wrote a great story

Beautiful and touching time-trip story. Bravo! :)

Good storyline and solid mechanics, but I couldn't

help but feel like something was missing when I finished it. I actually double-checked to make sure there wasn't another page.

Some stories can end with a lack of explanation as any explanation would be redundant, but some need enough the reader doesn't walk away muttering, 'I don't quite understand. Something is missing.' This story is one of the latter.

It might only be another sentence or two, or it might take another page, but a bit more interaction between the old Jim and young Jim might have tightened up the ending.

I can't tell you precisely what it needs because, {muttering}, 'I don't quite understand...', {as I turn and walk away}.