Answers?

Good Read****

Could be a multiple chapter goody. Thanks for sharing

Do you proof read?

"Of course, they had any evidence to convict or even arrest him." ???? or

Sorted? The word is sordid.

Otherwise an okay story/

Wow

Really sad tale. Hopefully you will continue. There's plenty more story to be told.

Naomi doesn't have to give up her life just because she found out what happened to her mother. I'm quite sure her dad wouldn't want her to live how she has been. We don't know anything about her mother but she probably would want Naomi to move on with her life...happily. Naomi may need to move to some place where she doesn't have the constant reminder of her tragic past.

CLOSURE ONLY IS EFFECTIVE IF

one has the stomach,stones and fortitude to go to the end, TK U MLJ LV NV

Continue

Let us see the light at the end of the tunnel, please. Some of us have grown to care about her.

You REALLY need an editor

The numerous errors in grammar detracted from the story. And it was hard enough to read as it was. Pretty depressing story for an erotic web site. What was the point of this mess?

Good Ideas Well Expressed

Comment on editing is wrong. Sure, you would benefit from another set of eyes on your work, but this was good stuff. Keep at it.

Nicely done

A painting of an obsessed incomplete human being.

So true of todays messed-up lives of youngsters,by greedy,unfeeling Politicians...

10-09-14

Dear anonnyingmousie, if you had ever had the misfortune to be required to attend any college/university level meeting, conference, forum, seminar, symposium or other involuntary gathering of professional educators.

You would discover the reason the industry is called "Higher" Education is that the attendees, with and without tenure can reliably be sorted into three groups. Drunks, Potheads and Senile Drunken Potheads.

Academic English is the worst form of misseducation since Neo-Confucianism.

Noah Webster was a premature Fascist and
Thomas Dewey a proto-Nazi.

Thank you...

I enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

I liked it.

It is a good beginning. I don't know if you plan on other chapters but I look forward to a follow up.
The comments about needing an editor were spot on. The mistakes detracted from the flow, making it hard to immerse myself into it.
Regarding the comment about the lack of erotic attributes, umm, it is in the non-erotic category.

ARE YOU DONE ??

You have storytelling talent. How about using it for a change ??
Instead of these little emotional venting stories or scene. Like the last couple of posts!
Do you need a muse??
Come on now, we pay you for good stories not this cr[..what ?
Yes, okay. I'm sorry honey. ]

Never mind T N . I'm mistaken. Keep following your heart, lol


AMerryMan

Went Nowhere

Worthless story. BTW it is whole sordid, not whole sorted.