The writing is OK, nothing outstanding but not bad either. The problem is this isn't a chapter, it's just the start of an introduction. So far you've introduced seven characters (counting the narrator and the waiter) but the chapter's already over and we know very little about any of them and there's no compelling reason to care about any of them or want to find out what happens to them next.
I guess the situation may be recoverable if you post part2 quickly...
OK we need to know why Anna's pussy was so wet. She been hittin Balls like Daddy was on the links, only soft balls inna sack?? Looking forward to a good story. Sooo now ya gotta git bizzy post the rest of the story.
by
Anonymous10/18/14
Way. Too short
What is this story all about . You need a minimum of too full pages
by
Anonymous10/18/14
A empty story
What is this all about. The shortest story I ve ever started to read here .
English
An empty comment box below because the story is empty
Why would I continue reading you've given us no reason to. Nothing has happened that make it worth continuing. Where is the cliff hanger? 1*
Too short
The writing is OK, nothing outstanding but not bad either. The problem is this isn't a chapter, it's just the start of an introduction. So far you've introduced seven characters (counting the narrator and the waiter) but the chapter's already over and we know very little about any of them and there's no compelling reason to care about any of them or want to find out what happens to them next.
I guess the situation may be recoverable if you post part2 quickly...
Carry on.
OK we need to know why Anna's pussy was so wet. She been hittin Balls like Daddy was on the links, only soft balls inna sack?? Looking forward to a good story. Sooo now ya gotta git bizzy post the rest of the story.
Way. Too short
What is this story all about . You need a minimum of too full pages
A empty story
What is this all about. The shortest story I ve ever started to read here .
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