2 Moms and 2 Sisters to Fuck as desired! Tough Job but I'd Love to give it a GO! Great Story! The Women ALL need regular Spanking to show You Really appreciate Them! More Chapters Please!
by
Anonymous10/12/14
.
This one was about as dumb as it can get, not to mention totally unbelievable.
The kindest thing I can say about these characters is that every one is dysfunctional.
The kindest thing I can say about the author is that if they actually composed this story, and posted it where others can read it, they seriously need to check into some place where they can get "help". That's what this story boils down to: a cry for help.
I don't know which is more sick: this story, or the fact someone wrote it and shared it.
A little rough around the edges but still pretty hot, a nice quick fuck fantasy. Sometimes we write War and Peace, sometimes we write Road Runner/Coyote. It's all good. Thanks, most fun I've had all day.
Stupid and unbelievable. But I liked it!! Nothing at all wrong with a quick-down-and-dirty fuck story. Keep writing!
by
Anonymous10/13/14
ignore the negative carping by professional naysayers
like "Epiphany Jones," who damns any story that doesn't go exactly the way he wants it to. This is a perfectly okay story, my only question is, if the boy's got his sister's slit and his own mother's twat available to him any time he wants, why does he bother with cunt outside the family?
by
Anonymous10/13/14
keep writing
Keep it up....or definitely keeping me up! Love the fast pace...short and sweet
Didnt read it but you should be locked up for the title alone..
by
Anonymous10/13/14
it began in the right direction then you went and screwed it all up. It was so believable l mean what mother wouldn't barge in on her son jerking off and demand that he go commit incest with his sister? Totally believable... Obviously you are an experienced writer and know how to develop good plots with a story line that builds up and keeps people wanting to read more... Clearly you stand out from the other crap writers on this site who don't write erotic literature but cliche sex stories. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and make an educated guess at how you'd seduce a woman. Please correct me if i'm wrong, but this is my perception. Okay you see a woman and run up to her. You yell at her and she drops her panties because she's instantly wet and then without any kissing or foreplay or any build up, her legs spring open and you jump on top. One pump, and two pumps and you're done. You are convinced you made her cum as hard as you did. Now focus on the reality of that situation because it'd end a little differently. She'd get her money and leave your moms car. When your mom asks you why her car smells like the perfume of a cheap prostitute you make up a lie and tell her that you had a date with a sexy woman who is head over heels in love with you and your mom would turn to you and say oh my boy you are a smooth talker. You are. Oh you are.
by
Anonymous10/13/14
This sucks!
Ruth is 32 with a 19-yr-old daughter? Anybody care to do the math. The idea isn't bad, but the writing needs serious help.
Well, the real issue is the lack of any kind of plausible explanation....
....for why Mom wants him to fuck his sister so much instead of masturbating. What is her logic, her rationale, as it were? That lack of any believable reason makes it impossible to suspend disbelief here. You need to work hard to get people to suspend disbelief. That is critical to good fiction. Work smarter at it and see what can come of stories like this that have some potential, but fail to meet it.
I like the idea behind the story, but I think you could do it better. You need to have patience with your characters. Build them up so we care about them. We don't need too much detail, which I know I'm probably a little guilty of doing with my stories, but we need enough to care about them. Maybe start with the father's death, explain that he had some rules about sex in his house up until the accident and that the mother is trying to abide by them even now. Show how the torch is being passed on to the son. Take your time with the sex as well. People need to know more about what's going on to get off. Show a little more reluctance with the friend, or at least some shock and not just immediate interest. I think you can improve on this for sure.
Was that crap,Even if you were trying to be funny/sarcastic,You should of at least try to make it a little believable
just makes no sense at all,gets caught wanking,so mom say, go fuck your sister,(who has no say in it) & lets him do it & from there it gets worse & more stupidly unbelievable
thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure read same/similar story,only better written,a little more believable
by
Anonymous10/26/14
Hillbillies R Us
Read like a backwoods hillbilly tale... My dick liked it, but my brain is struggling to forget this rubbish
Please continue this story and tell us about the pregnancies!
by
Anonymous01/11/15
Pure Crap
You got one star because the site won't allow negative stars.
by
Anonymous01/15/15
fast fucks
Nice idea even if totally unrealistic !
Write more please.
by
Anonymous01/24/15
It was just fine
Don;t pay any attention to people talking shit, if they say unrealistic so what else is new none of this shit is even supposed to be.Just do what you like screw who doesn;t like it.Look at this way it is something else to read and it will entertain who is entertained by it.some of these people take themselves to damn seriously.
by
Anonymous01/28/15
devils in the details
not bad needs more detail, im trying not to picture 2 over weight grannies and inbred rednecks, unless thats your intent. (still details)
by
Anonymous02/08/15
It was okay
It needed more detail because I am also like ok... Hold on what are these people like. And you didn't know anything about the story it just starts
by
Anonymous02/19/15
SOME MOM
HARD TO BELIEVE. BUT I GOT AROUSED
by
Anonymous03/09/15
uhhhhh
My eyes are bleeding. WTF was that?
by
Anonymous04/06/15
;)
nice
by
Anonymous05/05/15
fake story
Fake story I've ever read....that's a cooked story
by
Anonymous05/15/15
Needs more
Needs more chapters but other than that very good
by
Anonymous05/20/15
Chutiyapa...
bc kuch bhi..... ???
by
Anonymous05/22/15
Total crap
Written by a yank for yanks.
by
Anonymous05/27/15
Bruhhh
This is the best even if it is fake, this is awesome and creative. Please do more.
by
Anonymous06/08/15
yes
Just...the best story ever
by
Anonymous06/08/15
Math
Ruth is 32, Judy is 19, that means Ruth got pregnant at 12. I cannnot suspend my belief system that far.
by
Anonymous06/16/15
purest form of shit ahead!!
Man u should improve ur imagination or leave the story writing to professionals!!
by
Anonymous06/20/15
Utter shit
A shopping list is more erotic.
by
Anonymous06/26/15
What
This story sucked. Just stop writing
by
Anonymous07/04/15
Liked the story duck everybody else do you wouldn't mind reading a second pt
English
Ripped-off underage story from Asstr
Get some talent, you pice of shit plagiarist
Yep, plain ole crap.
Go back to beating your little dinky you sicko author.
What the heck?
What a stupid story. That's the best you could come up with?
mmmm i didn't even finish reading it, i don't normally leave bad comments but sorry that's the worst i have ever read.
shit
That's what this is. total shit. What are you thinking? go back to whatever you were doing before
One Man Four Women - Heaven!
2 Moms and 2 Sisters to Fuck as desired! Tough Job but I'd Love to give it a GO! Great Story! The Women ALL need regular Spanking to show You Really appreciate Them! More Chapters Please!
.
This one was about as dumb as it can get, not to mention totally unbelievable.
Delete your account and go away.
The kindest thing I can say about these characters is that every one is dysfunctional.
The kindest thing I can say about the author is that if they actually composed this story, and posted it where others can read it, they seriously need to check into some place where they can get "help". That's what this story boils down to: a cry for help.
I don't know which is more sick: this story, or the fact someone wrote it and shared it.
short to the point
A little rough around the edges but still pretty hot, a nice quick fuck fantasy. Sometimes we write War and Peace, sometimes we write Road Runner/Coyote. It's all good. Thanks, most fun I've had all day.
max052
Liked it
Stupid and unbelievable. But I liked it!! Nothing at all wrong with a quick-down-and-dirty fuck story. Keep writing!
ignore the negative carping by professional naysayers
like "Epiphany Jones," who damns any story that doesn't go exactly the way he wants it to. This is a perfectly okay story, my only question is, if the boy's got his sister's slit and his own mother's twat available to him any time he wants, why does he bother with cunt outside the family?
keep writing
Keep it up....or definitely keeping me up! Love the fast pace...short and sweet
Not bad
Not bad fr a quick jerk off story, Now he can wake up and take his hand off his cock as it was all a dream Life's a bitch!
Really good. Hot one short and best.
Reaaly?
Didnt read it but you should be locked up for the title alone..
it began in the right direction then you went and screwed it all up. It was so believable l mean what mother wouldn't barge in on her son jerking off and demand that he go commit incest with his sister? Totally believable... Obviously you are an experienced writer and know how to develop good plots with a story line that builds up and keeps people wanting to read more... Clearly you stand out from the other crap writers on this site who don't write erotic literature but cliche sex stories. I'm going to take a stab in the dark and make an educated guess at how you'd seduce a woman. Please correct me if i'm wrong, but this is my perception. Okay you see a woman and run up to her. You yell at her and she drops her panties because she's instantly wet and then without any kissing or foreplay or any build up, her legs spring open and you jump on top. One pump, and two pumps and you're done. You are convinced you made her cum as hard as you did. Now focus on the reality of that situation because it'd end a little differently. She'd get her money and leave your moms car. When your mom asks you why her car smells like the perfume of a cheap prostitute you make up a lie and tell her that you had a date with a sexy woman who is head over heels in love with you and your mom would turn to you and say oh my boy you are a smooth talker. You are. Oh you are.
This sucks!
Ruth is 32 with a 19-yr-old daughter? Anybody care to do the math. The idea isn't bad, but the writing needs serious help.
One word...
Dumb
Bad
And to think my story was bad this is even worse.
Well, the real issue is the lack of any kind of plausible explanation....
....for why Mom wants him to fuck his sister so much instead of masturbating. What is her logic, her rationale, as it were? That lack of any believable reason makes it impossible to suspend disbelief here. You need to work hard to get people to suspend disbelief. That is critical to good fiction. Work smarter at it and see what can come of stories like this that have some potential, but fail to meet it.
Kind of a quick start, but kinky enough to hold my interest.
Now I want to read about all of the pregnancies, with all four women having big bellies, full of his baby.
Details!
I like the idea behind the story, but I think you could do it better. You need to have patience with your characters. Build them up so we care about them. We don't need too much detail, which I know I'm probably a little guilty of doing with my stories, but we need enough to care about them. Maybe start with the father's death, explain that he had some rules about sex in his house up until the accident and that the mother is trying to abide by them even now. Show how the torch is being passed on to the son. Take your time with the sex as well. People need to know more about what's going on to get off. Show a little more reluctance with the friend, or at least some shock and not just immediate interest. I think you can improve on this for sure.
WTF
Was that crap,Even if you were trying to be funny/sarcastic,You should of at least try to make it a little believable
just makes no sense at all,gets caught wanking,so mom say, go fuck your sister,(who has no say in it) & lets him do it & from there it gets worse & more stupidly unbelievable
thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure read same/similar story,only better written,a little more believable
Hillbillies R Us
Read like a backwoods hillbilly tale... My dick liked it, but my brain is struggling to forget this rubbish
Stupid Story
It was a stupid fuck fest. No build up no romance.
Excellent Fucking Story!
One Young Man with a BIG Cock and 4 Women in His Harem; so far! Story is Straight to the Point - Fucking! Continue with Many More Chapters!
BEST EVER!
Hope there is a part two coming soon. got me going. I need more of this. great job!!!!!
Old story
This is an old story from the days of Usenet.
Paperback Novels From the 70's***
Damn they were fun to read. Thanks for sharing.
More
Please continue this story and tell us about the pregnancies!
Pure Crap
You got one star because the site won't allow negative stars.
fast fucks
Nice idea even if totally unrealistic !
Write more please.
It was just fine
Don;t pay any attention to people talking shit, if they say unrealistic so what else is new none of this shit is even supposed to be.Just do what you like screw who doesn;t like it.Look at this way it is something else to read and it will entertain who is entertained by it.some of these people take themselves to damn seriously.
devils in the details
not bad needs more detail, im trying not to picture 2 over weight grannies and inbred rednecks, unless thats your intent. (still details)
It was okay
It needed more detail because I am also like ok... Hold on what are these people like. And you didn't know anything about the story it just starts
SOME MOM
HARD TO BELIEVE. BUT I GOT AROUSED
uhhhhh
My eyes are bleeding. WTF was that?
;)
nice
fake story
Fake story I've ever read....that's a cooked story
Needs more
Needs more chapters but other than that very good
Chutiyapa...
bc kuch bhi..... ???
Total crap
Written by a yank for yanks.
Bruhhh
This is the best even if it is fake, this is awesome and creative. Please do more.
yes
Just...the best story ever
Math
Ruth is 32, Judy is 19, that means Ruth got pregnant at 12. I cannnot suspend my belief system that far.
purest form of shit ahead!!
Man u should improve ur imagination or leave the story writing to professionals!!
Utter shit
A shopping list is more erotic.
What
This story sucked. Just stop writing
Liked the story duck everybody else do you wouldn't mind reading a second pt
Write second part plz
Liked it write more
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