GREAT!!! YOU USED AN IDEA NOT OFTEN SEEN ON THIS SITE, IN FACT I'M NOT SURE I EVER SAW A DIALOG ONLY SUBMISSION, BUT YOU TOLD THE COMPLETE STORY USING ONLY WORDS, LEAVING THE READER TO FILL IN THE DETAILS. SHORTLY BEFORE READING YOUR STORY I WAS IN A DISCUSSION ABOUT DIALOG AND HOW TO USE IT EFFECTIVELY; I SURE WISH I COULD HAVE USED THIS STORY TO MAKE MY POINTS.
Only (kinda) quibble. How dense must a Sweetie be to see Hubby trying to set-up a brand-new laptop just before he leaves on a Chinese business trip then not have any concern about it being left behind?
Very apt submission for the LW category. Short, but bitter-sweet!
by
Anonymous10/15/14
D'you know how rare something new is?.....
....while it would be nice to say that about this piece, it would not be true.
At least 5 other authors have told similar stories....so this one isn't really different.
You write well and except for a few little things your writing is pleasant to read.
The unique angle of "what comes with the house" bears some fleshing out. We want to know how this came about....something more than a single line that hints at something interesting, but leaves us hanging.
The story feels too short and incomplete.
Would you consider an expanded version? Maybe then, we could find something unique (and therefor, exciting) about your work.
by
Anonymous11/03/14
THE STORY IS VERY WELL WRITTEN, UNUSUAL, INTELIGENT, DIDACTIC & FUN TO READ
You can read it when other family members are in the room because it is not meant to cause a tent.
English
Technology Catches The Bitch & Her Fucking Idiot!
I love it when people get stupid and just don't think, infidelity has it's payback and when it's a slamdunk from the blindside, it's fucking awesome!
That's it?
Do hope there is more to this story.
Your warning said most of it,
No narration, thoughts, emotion, I guess the "etc" stood for story.
very well done short story of a piece of trash wife
this was complete and total on its on, thank you
So ... Is there an actual story on the way?
I would like to know...
I would like to know what happens to the so called friend...The wife will be divorced and penniless at least...
*****
GREAT!!! YOU USED AN IDEA NOT OFTEN SEEN ON THIS SITE, IN FACT I'M NOT SURE I EVER SAW A DIALOG ONLY SUBMISSION, BUT YOU TOLD THE COMPLETE STORY USING ONLY WORDS, LEAVING THE READER TO FILL IN THE DETAILS. SHORTLY BEFORE READING YOUR STORY I WAS IN A DISCUSSION ABOUT DIALOG AND HOW TO USE IT EFFECTIVELY; I SURE WISH I COULD HAVE USED THIS STORY TO MAKE MY POINTS.
I TIP MY HAT TO A MASTER. THANKS.
Quicky
and with great style. She is in for shock.
Too short a story
Can you now write a complete story ,this was so short and so much left out.!
Excellent
Only (kinda) quibble. How dense must a Sweetie be to see Hubby trying to set-up a brand-new laptop just before he leaves on a Chinese business trip then not have any concern about it being left behind?
Very apt submission for the LW category. Short, but bitter-sweet!
D'you know how rare something new is?.....
....while it would be nice to say that about this piece, it would not be true.
At least 5 other authors have told similar stories....so this one isn't really different.
You write well and except for a few little things your writing is pleasant to read.
The unique angle of "what comes with the house" bears some fleshing out. We want to know how this came about....something more than a single line that hints at something interesting, but leaves us hanging.
The story feels too short and incomplete.
Would you consider an expanded version? Maybe then, we could find something unique (and therefor, exciting) about your work.
THE STORY IS VERY WELL WRITTEN, UNUSUAL, INTELIGENT, DIDACTIC & FUN TO READ
You can read it when other family members are in the room because it is not meant to cause a tent.
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