He was clear...she was too...she made a great mistake inviting another man...And she was stupid enough to go out...I don't know if this will have part 2, but I think he wasn't caring in maintaining that marriage...
She was at that stage. She can dance and still not be disrespectful to his ego. He needs to bend to her desires and let her dance with others. Dancing does not equate to cheating. It can be done in a respectful manner.
Although she does have a right to dance with other guys, she does not have the right to invite other guys on her date with her spouse. The husband made that clear when she informed him of her change to their plans. If she had then agreed with him and canceled her date with the other guy things would be different. Instead she went out on a date with another guy that the husband does not know. That is cheating. You don't have to have sex with another to cheat on your spouse. End of story.
This story feels like I'm sitting at a bar, listening to a stranger complain about his wife. Why was this placed in this category? Because it has a wife in it?
If this is supposed to be a true-life confession, and you're looking for some marital advice, I would say that you (the husband) are perfectly right. She shouldn't have included John in your plans for the night without discussing it with you first. And the fact that she still left for this "date" after realizing how you felt about it speaks volumes.
The fact that you automatically leapt to conclusions and began filing divorce papers, along with the blatant lack of communication, tells me your marriage was already in trouble before any of this took place.
Now...is this group therapy session over? Do we all need a group hug?
he doesn't own her and it's plain that she doesn't love him. In my opinion divorce was inevitable anyway. it's far more honest to end her sham of a marriage and make it on her own with whomever she wants. She doesn't deserve to have the light left on for her.
WTF?????????????????? Are you going to finish this story?
I mean we would like to know if she came home at a reasonable time, if she had sex, if she fucked or sucked the guy, what happened on her date, etc!!! What you wrote was OK but to leave us hanging was the pits. I won't score it yet, but I will come back if you don't have another chapter to finish this.
Maybe its just me, but this story sounds like a culmination of a lot of problems in their marriage. For him to jump the gun and want a divorce because she wants an evening out seems a bit rash. This story sounds like it has years of hurt and neglect that we aren't privy to at this point. As a stand alone story, this is half done. If there is a later revision in which we can get some flashbacks, then it will probably be a pretty descent story. But I have to agree with Swingerjoe and say that this does sound completely one-sided.
I disagree with him on the fact that it doesn't belong in this category though. Loving wives is about wives who have chosen to seek comfort outside of the marriage. This could include swinging and cuckolds, but it can also just be about cheating. It doesn't have to include sex to be erotic. Just the hint of inappropriate behavior can send the imagination running. I actually want to read another chapter of this if the author chooses to continue it.
This should have been written with dialog between the two of them, then there would have been more feeling.
As is this is too dry.
Though she may not have had sex with her new man yet, she was starting a life without her husband by her actions and intentions.
Invite a single man, a stranger to her husband, on what was planned as an intimate date with her husband?
If the intent was anything but to embarrass humiliate and abandon her husband would she still have gone on the "date"?
Or would she have stayed with her husband and tried to fix her marriage?
This for me is a good hard look at obviously a couple married perhaps 25 years, worked hard together and now living in the empty nest. Its not mentioned perhaps another chapter describing the couple and what is the final outcome would be nice. However, it is sad that in reality this does happen, the flicker of light or (love) slowly disappears and desires to move on surface, we read the men do it but ignore woman have the same desires too. I am happy to see honesty about this appearing in stories from time to time. Hate my comments, but if she was happy living out her years with him, there would be no choice in the matter. The work colleague would have to take time out to find friends in this community, her husband comes first.
The story was more of plot by facts and numbers as there was no dialog between the husband and wife.
This story does need a conclusion though.
Even though the couple are suffering from flown the nest syndrome it is not impossible for the couple to stay together.
My take would be wife admits she has feelings for new man, H&W separate, husband evaluates his life and seeks professional dance lessons.
Then months later wife sees ex husband in a club dancing with many women. Who desire him as he has a new toned fit body.
Her new man was a snake and just wanted to bed her and nothing else.
Wife approaches ex husband and told by some women to sling her hook.
Few weeks later wife finds husband at a nother club in a couples dance off competition and he comes 2nd.
Wife wants to dance with him his female dance partner informs wife he is too good for you, go get some lessons !
I liked Tornado's ending, but my thinking would be that if he could take lessons AFTER they divorced, why didn't he ever take them before? He said he hated when she danced with other men, but did nothing to change things for the better.
I do have to disagree with the people who said he was a jerk or over reacting. He talked with her and couldn't convince her to stay. He even explained the consequences of her acting as she had. I don't see how you can get any clearer than that. In fact, how pissed would the husband had been if she hadn't mentioned her little meeting and he found out once they got to the restaurant? That might make a good alternate story to this one...just to see how that turns out.
The biggest problem with this story is that they have grown kids away at college.
How could this marriage possibly have survived the previous 18 years??
He may have a reason to be pissed, but he's being a first class dick and overreacting.
Or is the guy just using this as an excuse for his actions now that the kids are grown.
I'm interested in seeing where this story goes....I suggest a part 2,to help fill in the ending. Was hubby overreacting to the addition of a dinner guest?.......Yes,a bit. Did hubby overreact to her going out with her new dance partner....whom he had never met?....Absolutely NOT. Was he an asshole in his wording and reactions towards his wife? ...Yes. Could he have countered with an offer to join a dancing class with her,once or twice a week?......Sure. Basically,Wifey was rude and uncaring towards her husbands feelings about this whole matter. Was it bad enough to convene a divorce? Hell,No! It just seems to me they went from happily married to quasi-divorced pretty damn quick....and all on his part. Go meet the guy for dinner. For all Hubby knew, the guy could have been mega-gay....and a great dancer. If he's straight,say "Nice to meet you,John...but you are NEVER going to be dancing with my wife." After a nice dinner,Wife leaves with Hubby...or Hubby would definitely be filing divorce papers. To state to his wife- "Your going dancing,so you MUST want to fuck your new dance partner,therefore I'm filing for divorce!" That's kind of a stretch.
The ending was way too abrupt! I think he reacted EXACTLY the way he should have! He gave his wife notice that if she went that their marriage would change and she still went! I'm hoping there is a part 2 pretty quickly as I'm very interested to see how this story develops!
How could any of the commenters say otherwise? It didn't matter why she did what she did, she ambushed her husband after being unfaithful to him with intent and probably emotional investment in the other man. That type of thing is just not done out of thin air. Planning goes into to it. It was discussed with the other man but not the husband. If nothing else she should have respected him enough to talk to him about it. The way the male feminist man haters on this site react to the man in all of the stories, if he had done something like that they would have called for his death or castration or both.
Didn't matter if she came home or not. She made her choice, she went to the other man. She's out of there.
The main point of marriage has bern achieved- achieved-the kids hsve been raised and are out of house. When your wife LOVES to dance and you unequivocally demure from joining her- potential flashpoint looms ahead. Likewise she did sandbag him amd gave no warning for her preferred night out.. The story doesn't follow up. Pity. But from my vantage point, the marital fatigue is very much mutual beast.
very lacking in detail and one-sided. Lets hear her side and what the night entailed and then proceed with the divorce. ( she did step out that is for sure)
She went out on her own and found another man, without discussing it with him first. If all she wanted was an innocent dancing partner, she could have talked it over with him and they could, together, have sought the acquaintance of another couple with a husband who loved dancing and a wife who didn't or couldn't dance. He's absolutely right that she's gone out and started making a life for herself that excludes him.
It is not the ending or the length of this tale, but the one-sided POV.
He is ranting and clearly has a right to do so, but we do not get any insight to what was her real intention, what was her relation to her husband and to that stranger, and - mainly - what caused this marriage to get so obviously foul at the core.
I read your other story and this applies to it in nearly the same way. A talk of a few minutes between husband and wife normally does not lead to a divorce - there is always a longer story behind it, and two people are involved. Both stories could be recovered not by telling the final outcome, but by showing the wife's point of view.
I am one of those people that believe in logic and rational behavior. If you lie to me, deceive me, or try to I will end my association with you at the next most opportune moment. There is no room in my life for deceit or games of any kind. This guy gets it. She is at the least a deceitful, disrespectful little bitch. At worst she is some kind of pervert to invite another man on her date with her husband! In either case, she is no longer a viable option for a life partner.
I know it's the writers intention but it is only half a story, to go from expecting a nice evening out with your wife to consulting a lawyer the next is stretching credulity for me. Her invite to some one else without the courtesy of giving hubby a call at work is at best bad mannered and arrogant, it is, this is what I have done like it or not attitude, Is she just plain stupid or is this part of a carefully thought out plan. This was to be a special occasion for just them, had she invited a new work colleague to a regular night out at the pub where they meet and socialise with others is very different to a special occasion for two people. His reaction, yes over the top and should have handled it in a more rational way, he was making accusations and it quickly went from bad to worse, no one to like here, were they ever a married couple.
Reference to comment made by NadinePoo. So having agreed to a special night out for two then unilaterally inviting a third person is not strange behaviour?
...stories have come to an abrupt end.
It's a different form of writing. Not good or bad(necessarily) though a number of readers find it annoying.
You have a good feel for writing a story, you will get better scores if you don't annoy your readers at the end. Just saying.
Keep trying. I have enjoyed them.
Whether she came home that night is irrelevent. That she left, after he explained how unhappy he was and how he perceived it and how important it was, is everything. As soon as she walked out the door, she made an unequivocal statement. He is correct, her subsequent behavior is irrelevant.
Talk about over reacting - it's not like she was going out by herself - she had every intention of taking her husband with her. He's the one who turned into the pouty child. If that's all it takes for him to divorce her, she's not losing much - good riddance to the big baby.
Boring, overly clinical description of an emotionally abusive, controlling asshole who doesn't even think it matters what his wife does when he just decides to give up on his marriage. Boring as hell, and not even remotely in the right category of this site since it's not erotic and she doesn't even cheat.
We all make sacrifices when we marry, and giving up dancing is no great sacrifice, in the grand scheme of things. Especially to have a family. He never refused her dancing before, and if she had wanted to dance that night, I'm sure he would have allowed it. He took exception to the fact that she HAND-PICKED this new guy, and asked him specifically out, on what amounted to a chaperoned date! She wasn't doing this for the dancing, otherwise she would have been happy to dance with whomever was available at the dancehall. But she specifically invited the new guy at work! And didn't invite anyone else. Not another couple, not another woman for the new guy, just him. Just for her. Why else did she neglect to mention it to her husband, right up to the final minute when she thought that he couldn't back out of the reservations and would have no choice but to go.
He was dead right in his assessment of her intentions, this was a date for her, whether her husband was there or not. And he was right about dancing too. It IS a prelude to more sexual encounters. Dancing is a very intimate and sensual act, that allows couples to be intimate, in a safe environment, without pressure. It allows couples to caress and become more sexual to each other yet maintaining the safety of being in public until a more permanent trust is formed. Why do you think men don't dance with other men? Why do you think women don't dance with other women? Why do you think men and women have been dancing for thousands of years? If it was just a pass time, they would dance with any partner! But it's NOT a pass time, is it? We all know why we dance with our bodies pressed together at the pelvic region, don't we? That's what so cool about dancing. We hold our partners close, we can touch them intimately without recrimination, we can grind our privates together in public, basically having sex with clothes on, and people look at you and say "Aww, aren't they lovely together?", It's like groping and fondling in a car, but nobody questions it when we dance! That's why we do it!
The narrative is a bit dull, and overly clinical. He could be reading a dinner menu, or describing how he changed his wiper blades on his car! Needs more(did I say more? I meant ANY) emotion injected into the telling! It reads like a robot is speaking. It has the words, but not the substance behind them! Technically good writing, with a good premise, so you're off to a better start than most here, you just need to make us FEEL when we read it. Perhaps some conversation and interaction between characters would help!
I think the same way. Too bad after all those years, maybe this is what she wants?
She made a choice , a bad one? Wish hope their is a follpw up part. Bill...
As MisterBillBilly suggested you need a follow up to this story I think that it's pitiful how you people think you can write a story with an open ending it shows that you haven't got any idea how to finish a story properly. end in saying that why even try to write a story.
English
DANCE WITH THE DOLLY
with a hole in her head. TK U MLJ LV NV
And so the reader is left with the proposition, but not a conclusion.
unfinished
not finished waste of time. would not be bad if it was done.
He made it perfectly clear to her that once she would leave to go on a date theyr mariage would be over,she left ,she was gone !
Agree with @dyonysos...
He was clear...she was too...she made a great mistake inviting another man...And she was stupid enough to go out...I don't know if this will have part 2, but I think he wasn't caring in maintaining that marriage...
A good start...
But this story is incomplete. At least to me, it is.
Indirect emotional cheating...
She was at that stage. She can dance and still not be disrespectful to his ego. He needs to bend to her desires and let her dance with others. Dancing does not equate to cheating. It can be done in a respectful manner.
We do not OWN our spouses. 4*
Although she does have a right to dance with other guys, she does not have the right to invite other guys on her date with her spouse. The husband made that clear when she informed him of her change to their plans. If she had then agreed with him and canceled her date with the other guy things would be different. Instead she went out on a date with another guy that the husband does not know. That is cheating. You don't have to have sex with another to cheat on your spouse. End of story.
Okay...
This story feels like I'm sitting at a bar, listening to a stranger complain about his wife. Why was this placed in this category? Because it has a wife in it?
If this is supposed to be a true-life confession, and you're looking for some marital advice, I would say that you (the husband) are perfectly right. She shouldn't have included John in your plans for the night without discussing it with you first. And the fact that she still left for this "date" after realizing how you felt about it speaks volumes.
The fact that you automatically leapt to conclusions and began filing divorce papers, along with the blatant lack of communication, tells me your marriage was already in trouble before any of this took place.
Now...is this group therapy session over? Do we all need a group hug?
she made the decision....
he doesn't own her and it's plain that she doesn't love him. In my opinion divorce was inevitable anyway. it's far more honest to end her sham of a marriage and make it on her own with whomever she wants. She doesn't deserve to have the light left on for her.
WTF?????????????????? Are you going to finish this story?
I mean we would like to know if she came home at a reasonable time, if she had sex, if she fucked or sucked the guy, what happened on her date, etc!!! What you wrote was OK but to leave us hanging was the pits. I won't score it yet, but I will come back if you don't have another chapter to finish this.
Maybe its just me, but this story sounds like a culmination of a lot of problems in their marriage. For him to jump the gun and want a divorce because she wants an evening out seems a bit rash. This story sounds like it has years of hurt and neglect that we aren't privy to at this point. As a stand alone story, this is half done. If there is a later revision in which we can get some flashbacks, then it will probably be a pretty descent story. But I have to agree with Swingerjoe and say that this does sound completely one-sided.
I disagree with him on the fact that it doesn't belong in this category though. Loving wives is about wives who have chosen to seek comfort outside of the marriage. This could include swinging and cuckolds, but it can also just be about cheating. It doesn't have to include sex to be erotic. Just the hint of inappropriate behavior can send the imagination running. I actually want to read another chapter of this if the author chooses to continue it.
could have been
This should have been written with dialog between the two of them, then there would have been more feeling.
As is this is too dry.
Though she may not have had sex with her new man yet, she was starting a life without her husband by her actions and intentions.
Invite a single man, a stranger to her husband, on what was planned as an intimate date with her husband?
If the intent was anything but to embarrass humiliate and abandon her husband would she still have gone on the "date"?
Or would she have stayed with her husband and tried to fix her marriage?
Interesting 5 stars
This for me is a good hard look at obviously a couple married perhaps 25 years, worked hard together and now living in the empty nest. Its not mentioned perhaps another chapter describing the couple and what is the final outcome would be nice. However, it is sad that in reality this does happen, the flicker of light or (love) slowly disappears and desires to move on surface, we read the men do it but ignore woman have the same desires too. I am happy to see honesty about this appearing in stories from time to time. Hate my comments, but if she was happy living out her years with him, there would be no choice in the matter. The work colleague would have to take time out to find friends in this community, her husband comes first.
**
Not, much of a story. The numbers indicate that as well. Cheers!
Finish The Story !
The story was more of plot by facts and numbers as there was no dialog between the husband and wife.
This story does need a conclusion though.
Even though the couple are suffering from flown the nest syndrome it is not impossible for the couple to stay together.
My take would be wife admits she has feelings for new man, H&W separate, husband evaluates his life and seeks professional dance lessons.
Then months later wife sees ex husband in a club dancing with many women. Who desire him as he has a new toned fit body.
Her new man was a snake and just wanted to bed her and nothing else.
Wife approaches ex husband and told by some women to sling her hook.
Few weeks later wife finds husband at a nother club in a couples dance off competition and he comes 2nd.
Wife wants to dance with him his female dance partner informs wife he is too good for you, go get some lessons !
guys a dick
And I agree with others. A lot wrong with this marriage
Neither well conceived or written.
Good Read****
Your story your ending. Thanks for sharing.
Meh
Wrong on ALL counts.
She had no business inviting another man without checking with the husband first.
Dancing with other MEN while out with your husband or boyfriend is okay, but bringing a dancing partner on a date with significant other is not.
Divorcing over this is over-reaching, but he should have been willing to talk morfe, and hopefully convince her not to go out.
Narrative dull as dishwater.
Ok story, weak ending
I liked Tornado's ending, but my thinking would be that if he could take lessons AFTER they divorced, why didn't he ever take them before? He said he hated when she danced with other men, but did nothing to change things for the better.
I do have to disagree with the people who said he was a jerk or over reacting. He talked with her and couldn't convince her to stay. He even explained the consequences of her acting as she had. I don't see how you can get any clearer than that. In fact, how pissed would the husband had been if she hadn't mentioned her little meeting and he found out once they got to the restaurant? That might make a good alternate story to this one...just to see how that turns out.
Flawed
The biggest problem with this story is that they have grown kids away at college.
How could this marriage possibly have survived the previous 18 years??
He may have a reason to be pissed, but he's being a first class dick and overreacting.
Or is the guy just using this as an excuse for his actions now that the kids are grown.
Shakey Ending
Needs to wrap it up...what was she thinking and why..how could it all fall apart so quickly.
Not bad for a first story attempt.
I'm interested in seeing where this story goes....I suggest a part 2,to help fill in the ending. Was hubby overreacting to the addition of a dinner guest?.......Yes,a bit. Did hubby overreact to her going out with her new dance partner....whom he had never met?....Absolutely NOT. Was he an asshole in his wording and reactions towards his wife? ...Yes. Could he have countered with an offer to join a dancing class with her,once or twice a week?......Sure. Basically,Wifey was rude and uncaring towards her husbands feelings about this whole matter. Was it bad enough to convene a divorce? Hell,No! It just seems to me they went from happily married to quasi-divorced pretty damn quick....and all on his part. Go meet the guy for dinner. For all Hubby knew, the guy could have been mega-gay....and a great dancer. If he's straight,say "Nice to meet you,John...but you are NEVER going to be dancing with my wife." After a nice dinner,Wife leaves with Hubby...or Hubby would definitely be filing divorce papers. To state to his wife- "Your going dancing,so you MUST want to fuck your new dance partner,therefore I'm filing for divorce!" That's kind of a stretch.
Loved the story, but
The ending was way too abrupt! I think he reacted EXACTLY the way he should have! He gave his wife notice that if she went that their marriage would change and she still went! I'm hoping there is a part 2 pretty quickly as I'm very interested to see how this story develops!
I don't understand the calls to finish this story
it never started. What little had begun was killed in the last paragraph.
Story had a beginning and an end
How could any of the commenters say otherwise? It didn't matter why she did what she did, she ambushed her husband after being unfaithful to him with intent and probably emotional investment in the other man. That type of thing is just not done out of thin air. Planning goes into to it. It was discussed with the other man but not the husband. If nothing else she should have respected him enough to talk to him about it. The way the male feminist man haters on this site react to the man in all of the stories, if he had done something like that they would have called for his death or castration or both.
Didn't matter if she came home or not. She made her choice, she went to the other man. She's out of there.
Great Start
So far, so good. It's nice to see the man stand up for himself for a change.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
ill matched pair (or so it seems)
The main point of marriage has bern achieved- achieved-the kids hsve been raised and are out of house. When your wife LOVES to dance and you unequivocally demure from joining her- potential flashpoint looms ahead. Likewise she did sandbag him amd gave no warning for her preferred night out.. The story doesn't follow up. Pity. But from my vantage point, the marital fatigue is very much mutual beast.
Too short
very lacking in detail and one-sided. Lets hear her side and what the night entailed and then proceed with the divorce. ( she did step out that is for sure)
Really doesn't need any more
She went out on her own and found another man, without discussing it with him first. If all she wanted was an innocent dancing partner, she could have talked it over with him and they could, together, have sought the acquaintance of another couple with a husband who loved dancing and a wife who didn't or couldn't dance. He's absolutely right that she's gone out and started making a life for herself that excludes him.
Totally incomplete story
It is not the ending or the length of this tale, but the one-sided POV.
He is ranting and clearly has a right to do so, but we do not get any insight to what was her real intention, what was her relation to her husband and to that stranger, and - mainly - what caused this marriage to get so obviously foul at the core.
I read your other story and this applies to it in nearly the same way. A talk of a few minutes between husband and wife normally does not lead to a divorce - there is always a longer story behind it, and two people are involved. Both stories could be recovered not by telling the final outcome, but by showing the wife's point of view.
I wonder if NadinePoo would feel the same way
if her husband or BF did to her what this wife did to her husband. I don't think so!!!
I like this Writer!
I am one of those people that believe in logic and rational behavior. If you lie to me, deceive me, or try to I will end my association with you at the next most opportune moment. There is no room in my life for deceit or games of any kind. This guy gets it. She is at the least a deceitful, disrespectful little bitch. At worst she is some kind of pervert to invite another man on her date with her husband! In either case, she is no longer a viable option for a life partner.
Half a Story
I know it's the writers intention but it is only half a story, to go from expecting a nice evening out with your wife to consulting a lawyer the next is stretching credulity for me. Her invite to some one else without the courtesy of giving hubby a call at work is at best bad mannered and arrogant, it is, this is what I have done like it or not attitude, Is she just plain stupid or is this part of a carefully thought out plan. This was to be a special occasion for just them, had she invited a new work colleague to a regular night out at the pub where they meet and socialise with others is very different to a special occasion for two people. His reaction, yes over the top and should have handled it in a more rational way, he was making accusations and it quickly went from bad to worse, no one to like here, were they ever a married couple.
A Comment
Reference to comment made by NadinePoo. So having agreed to a special night out for two then unilaterally inviting a third person is not strange behaviour?
as to whether or not thisn is a good story
it is irrelevant
chapter 2?
Decent start....It would be nice for you to finish it.....
2 out of 2
...stories have come to an abrupt end.
It's a different form of writing. Not good or bad(necessarily) though a number of readers find it annoying.
You have a good feel for writing a story, you will get better scores if you don't annoy your readers at the end. Just saying.
Keep trying. I have enjoyed them.
Author is right
Whether she came home that night is irrelevent. That she left, after he explained how unhappy he was and how he perceived it and how important it was, is everything. As soon as she walked out the door, she made an unequivocal statement. He is correct, her subsequent behavior is irrelevant.
Get a grip!
Talk about over reacting - it's not like she was going out by herself - she had every intention of taking her husband with her. He's the one who turned into the pouty child. If that's all it takes for him to divorce her, she's not losing much - good riddance to the big baby.
brewtoo put your panties back on
the husband is only stating the facts.
Needs lots of work
Not a fan of narrative style writing.
Boring, overly clinical description of an emotionally abusive, controlling asshole who doesn't even think it matters what his wife does when he just decides to give up on his marriage. Boring as hell, and not even remotely in the right category of this site since it's not erotic and she doesn't even cheat.
He was right
We all make sacrifices when we marry, and giving up dancing is no great sacrifice, in the grand scheme of things. Especially to have a family. He never refused her dancing before, and if she had wanted to dance that night, I'm sure he would have allowed it. He took exception to the fact that she HAND-PICKED this new guy, and asked him specifically out, on what amounted to a chaperoned date! She wasn't doing this for the dancing, otherwise she would have been happy to dance with whomever was available at the dancehall. But she specifically invited the new guy at work! And didn't invite anyone else. Not another couple, not another woman for the new guy, just him. Just for her. Why else did she neglect to mention it to her husband, right up to the final minute when she thought that he couldn't back out of the reservations and would have no choice but to go.
He was dead right in his assessment of her intentions, this was a date for her, whether her husband was there or not. And he was right about dancing too. It IS a prelude to more sexual encounters. Dancing is a very intimate and sensual act, that allows couples to be intimate, in a safe environment, without pressure. It allows couples to caress and become more sexual to each other yet maintaining the safety of being in public until a more permanent trust is formed. Why do you think men don't dance with other men? Why do you think women don't dance with other women? Why do you think men and women have been dancing for thousands of years? If it was just a pass time, they would dance with any partner! But it's NOT a pass time, is it? We all know why we dance with our bodies pressed together at the pelvic region, don't we? That's what so cool about dancing. We hold our partners close, we can touch them intimately without recrimination, we can grind our privates together in public, basically having sex with clothes on, and people look at you and say "Aww, aren't they lovely together?", It's like groping and fondling in a car, but nobody questions it when we dance! That's why we do it!
Agree with others, though
The narrative is a bit dull, and overly clinical. He could be reading a dinner menu, or describing how he changed his wiper blades on his car! Needs more(did I say more? I meant ANY) emotion injected into the telling! It reads like a robot is speaking. It has the words, but not the substance behind them! Technically good writing, with a good premise, so you're off to a better start than most here, you just need to make us FEEL when we read it. Perhaps some conversation and interaction between characters would help!
Damn
I think the same way. Too bad after all those years, maybe this is what she wants?
She made a choice , a bad one? Wish hope their is a follpw up part. Bill...
***********
As MisterBillBilly suggested you need a follow up to this story I think that it's pitiful how you people think you can write a story with an open ending it shows that you haven't got any idea how to finish a story properly. end in saying that why even try to write a story.
Without a 2nd chapter this is just awful
And maybe a little more excitement or innovative dialogue and descriptions? I swear watching paint dry is about as exciting as this story.
What?
Where is the part where he gets revenge on her cheating ass?
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