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English
Pronouns consistency.
I'm not sure what you're trying to do with pronouns, but do your readers a favor: pick one gender for Nick/Nikki and stick with it. Or at least use some consistency in whether or not you use female or male pronouns. There should not be a sentence in which the same person is referred to as "he" and "she" without some kind of clear distinction about why.
Passages like this: "His body draped along her back as he rested inside of her, his hot breath on his neck, as he reached around and slipped his fingers under the rubbery false breast in his bra. The pads teased around the areolas and his nipples producing sparks he'd never felt before, moaning as her body shivered."
...are very confusing because changing the character's gender for no reason within the span of one sentence makes readers unsure who you're referring to. And there was also a few times you used 1st person pronouns to refer to Nikki, though I assume this was a mistake in shifting the perspective from 1st to 3rd.
Other than that it was alright.
A dream
It would be a dream come true for me.
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